Reception etiquette???

nbcruelgirl05

Our weddding date that we have chosen ended up falling on a Friday. So we have decided to have the wedding around 8pm to give the guest that have to work time to get there. We are trying to keep the cost of the wedding down as much as possible. So my question is...is the correct etiquette for the recpetion to serve dinner after the ceremony since it will be 8:30-9 before the reception starts? I was thiniking we could do a candy buffett, coke floats, ect... to go with the cake instead.

Jen4948

It isn't incorrect to serve dinner, but I agree with you that it might make more sense to do a dessert reception instead.

ericaandtom2012

People will eat beforehand if your ceremony starts at 8.  I think it makes more sense to just go with a dessert reception.  Make sure you have savory things too, not just sweet so people don't get sick from too much sugar. 

theelusive1

If people are leaving work to get to a wedding they wont have time to eat.

Kristin789

Yes.  A wedding at 8:00 with reception starting around 9:00 is a DESSERT reception.  See link below:

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-reception-planning/qa/timing-a-dessert-reception.aspx

mcda04

At 9pm, I'd expect to have light finger foods and cake. So I agree that you should just have a punch / cake reception afterwards.

nbcruelgirl05

I was thinking about doing fruit trays or something of that sort for the people that do not want sweets. I just think that sweets would me if more fun. I don't want a formal type reception. Something that can be fun and less stressful.

rsanna

A dessert reception is perfectly fine.  You could also look into like veggie platters, or some small finger foods to go along with it so people aren't solely eating sweets.  But I love candy and dessert, so it wouldn't be a problem for me.

aurianna

I don't know much about dessert receptions, but maybe include cheeses too. Isn't that kind of European?
Mmmm... dessert buffets... I wanna come to your wedding.

libby2483

At this time of day, a dessert reception would work great! As PPs have said, maybe consider having a few light finger foods like cheese and sausage platters to provide a little variety.  I love dessert, though, so if that's all you had, I would be fine with that too!

libby2483

At this time of day, a dessert reception would work great! As PPs have said, maybe consider having a few light finger foods like cheese and sausage platters to provide a little variety.  I love dessert, though, so if that's all you had, I would be fine with that too!

MyNameIsNot

On a Friday, I would still serve dinner if you are starting at 8.  People have to get off work, fight traffic, get home and get ready, and then travel to the ceremony in time to be there by 7:45.  Those that are parents will have to add pick up kids and leave them with a sitter in there too. Unless the guests are leaving work before the normal 5-6, I don't see how they're supposed to squeeze time to eat dinner in there.    

On a Saturday, it would be different, but if most of your guests are M-F types, I would be really weary about not serving dinner in this time slot.  

Simply Fated

I would definitely mention it would be a dessert reception on the invitations. Even on a weekend, in my circle, a reception starting at 8pm is a dinner reception, if it isn't mentioned otherwise.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77b997f6-b2f0-4e22-bf7e-ba5a677128b4Post:763569d6-83ab-4bdc-a768-48d59aca3901">Re: Reception etiquette???</a>:
[QUOTE]On a Friday, I would still serve dinner if you are starting at 8.  People have to get off work, fight traffic, get home and get ready, and then travel to the ceremony in time to be there by 7:45.  Those that are parents will have to add pick up kids and leave them with a sitter in there too. Unless the guests are leaving work before the normal 5-6, I don't see how they're supposed to squeeze time to eat dinner in there.     On a Saturday, it would be different, but if most of your guests are M-F types, I would be really weary about not serving dinner in this time slot.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>For the record we generally got out to dinner on Fridays at around 8pm.  By the time we eat it's closer to 9pm.   You might be different, but the dining room is always full when we eat so clearly we are not alone about eating that late.</div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77b997f6-b2f0-4e22-bf7e-ba5a677128b4Post:afac5ca6-3f9a-47f5-8595-5912d70b048e">Re: Reception etiquette???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception etiquette??? :  For the record we generally got out to dinner on Fridays at around 8pm.  By the time we eat it's closer to 9pm.   You might be different, but the dining room is always full when we eat so clearly we are not alone about eating that late.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>Good point.  I just called a popular local restaurant yesterday to make a reservation for the weekend.  Everything from 7:15-8:30 was booked, but they still had slots before and after.  Clearly 7:30-8:00 is the popular dinner start time here as well.  </div>

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77b997f6-b2f0-4e22-bf7e-ba5a677128b4Post:56bb23e7-50cd-4895-92f4-2fc9482ebcd3">Re: Reception etiquette???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception etiquette??? : Good point.  I just called a popular local restaurant yesterday to make a reservation for the weekend.  Everything from 7:15-8:30 was booked, but they still had slots before and after.  Clearly 7:30-8:00 is the popular dinner start time here as well.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>Well as you know DH is a chef and I've worked in restaurants.   Between 7 and 8:30 are some of the hardest times to get a reservation.  Especially on a Friday or Saturday night.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77b997f6-b2f0-4e22-bf7e-ba5a677128b4Post:ba94a02a-c5a3-4493-b038-9f61714b8be1">Re: Reception etiquette???</a>:
[QUOTE]After 8 pm is after the traditional dinner hour for etiquette purposes.  She's fine with a dessert-only reception.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I don't completely agree for a Friday wedding.  Saturday or Sunday is one thing.  I could adjust my meals for the day.    </div><div>
</div><div>On a work day I would have a very hard time finding time to eat between getting off work, walking the dog, travel time, getting ready, etc.   Not only that I would really be annoyed I would even have to find the time.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

emilykathleen511

I agree that dessert reception for that time is perfect! Just make sure to note it on the invitation. Something like,

"Dessert and dancing to follow"

or

"Dessert reception immediately following ceremony"

at the bottom of the invitation (or on the reception insert if it will be at a separate location from the ceremony) should do the trick.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:77b997f6-b2f0-4e22-bf7e-ba5a677128b4Post:93a6edaa-c444-4541-92a1-447981fd8f4e">Re: Reception etiquette???</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to disagree with those who are saying "well people eat late in Friday, so you still have to serve dinner at 9pm".  We are late eaters in my house, but I wouldn't expect a meal at 9, and I wouldn't be annoyed if someone didn't offer one. Depending on where this wedding is, traffic could be hell or it could be very minimal. Personally, if it's the day of a wedding I'm taking a half day anyway. I'm sure the OP would still want dancing and carrying on, and this isn't leaving her very much time to do it if she's supposed to serve a meal that late.I think it would be an unfair assumption that it's only because people get off work that they eat that late. A lot of it probably has to do with how late night seems more romantic / exciting / fun, so people are willing to hold back dinner a little later for the mood.  I'm wondering how late you guys think she would have to push back that wedding and reception to make not serving a meal okay, because this is really creepy into "I'm too tired to go to that wedding" territory. 
Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

Honestly I've never attended a wedding that didn't have a meal (meal being either buffet, sit-down or heavy apps) regardless of time of day, so I'm not sure I could even answer that question. Social events always have enough food to make a meal out of, it's just the way my family/social group hosts events.

Other social groups cake and punch events are the norm. Full meals at 8pm are unheard of.  That is the way they host events.

I'm not saying either is right or wrong. Just giving the OP a point of view that in her social group might think the same way I do.

Calypso1977

i had considered doing this, and then found out that some of hte venues i looked at between dessert, coffee and room rental wanted as much money as if i did it on a saturday and served a buffet lunch.  one place (a popular hotel chain) wanted nearly $6K between room rental and food/beverage minimum, and this was off season.

so i can work, but depending upon where you are looking, it may not be all that cheaper.

s-aries8990

Look into whatever fits your budget, but i think a cocktail and desert reception would be fine for an 8pm wedding with an 8:30 reception. I think it would be better if you provided some more substancial appitizers than cheese/veggie trays- maybe some hot/passed-type (even if no servers) appetizers in addition to a desert buffet- so if people didn't have time to grab dinner before hand, they will get some nourishment to accompany their sugar and booze

Edit: Just mention on the invite the type of reception you will provide if not a full meal.

nbcruelgirl05

I know the Friday date messes with the people that has to work that day, but we want to get married on our anniversary that it happens to be on a friday. That is why we are thinking 8:00 ceremony time. The fartherest drive for our guest will be 30 mins at the max, and most do get off work around 5. I will defiently keep in mind to have some finger foods that will offset the desert bar.