cutting hair?

Knottie_22383059

is it ok for me to cut my hair before my friend's wedding that i am a bridesmaid in?  i love her a lot but not the horrible curly style she's picked... i've been thinking of cutting my hair anyway and this would be a good way to avoid the terrible style lol

would you be mad if one of your girls did this??

renegade gaucho

She has no right to be mad at you for making decisions regarding your appearance.  If you want to cut your hair, that's fine, but you don't need to go that far to avoid a certain hairstyle.  You can just tell her that you would prefer a different style for the wedding day.

Knottie_22383059

she really wants us all to look the same though  same dress and shoes for everyone despite us showing her lots of pics of wedding parties with different dresses...  so i don't think i'll get out of the hairstyle unless i cut my hair.

no offense to girls who like the look of all same dresses of course!

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:1c7cbc2f-5651-4f12-874e-0de467c7dc6c">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]she really wants us all to look the same though :/  same dress and shoes for everyone despite us showing her lots of pics of wedding parties with different dresses...  so i don't think i'll get out of the hairstyle unless i cut my hair. no offense to girls who like the look of all same dresses of course!
Posted by popcorn781[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Well she's crazy. Is she paying for all of you to get your hair done the same way?</div><div>
</div><div>But I agree - DEFINITELY cut your hair if you want to. And if she gets mad, tell her she's freaking nuts. And send her here. We'll learn her! :)</div>

Knottie_22383059

her mom is paying for the hairstyling.  but i probably will cut my hair, i've been meaning to and this is kind of the motivation i needed

erinlin25

I would cut my hair just because she is a crazy bridezilla who makes alll her friends look like clones.  And unless she is paying for the hair (which still should be your choice regardless) she should absolutely have no say in how you do your hair.   

monkeysip

Umm... yeah... I'd "accidentally" get some gum all in my hair and have to cut it off.  Crazy brides.

Matching dresses is one thing, but I don't get the matching clone Bridesmaids all the way down to matching fingernail polish thing.  I think what you're looking for are mannequins...

Simply Fated

It's your hair. You always get to decide the length of it.

misssunshine17

Cut your hair and forget about the bossypants bride.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:9c1e4360-635b-4967-851d-e3c4979b41e5">Re:cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]Forget cutting your hair, I'd drop out of the wedding. That bride sounds nutter butter and anyone who is that hellbent on everyone matching to a tee is going to throw a hissy fit and cause a ton of drama if you DO cut your hair before the wedding.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm just going to quote everything Stage says today and agree with it.

Weezy56

My girls could have gotten green Mohawks and I wouldn't have cared. You should cut your hair however you want. To be honest though, I would rather drop out altogether than deal with a bride like that.

Peledreamsofrain

I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and self-centered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair.

Any takers?  Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:35016667-40ac-4f61-99f7-6f23b2dc6de7">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and self-centered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair. Any takers?  <strong>Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her?</strong>
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Oh god, I can't wait.

[Deleted User]

Ya know, side note, but how sad is it that "i don't think i'll get out of the hairstyle unless i cut my hair?"

NO. I mean, if you want to cut your hair, cut it, but FFS, if you don't want to wear your hair like that, just tell her, and if she tells you you have to, too bad, then you can whip out some scissors right then and there and hack it all off crazy-like and ask her NOW WHAT CRAZY PANTS? Also, you should probably try to get a good chunk out of the bride's hair, too.

SummerGrl15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:1c7cbc2f-5651-4f12-874e-0de467c7dc6c">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]she really wants us all to look the same though :/  same dress and shoes for everyone despite us showing her lots of pics of wedding parties with different dresses...  so i don't think i'll get out of the hairstyle unless i cut my hair. no offense to girls who like the look of all same dresses of course!
Posted by popcorn781[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>OMG! What is wrong with people?!   I vote for cutting it! (Only if you really want to cut it though)  But, I wouldn't be surprised if she flips the f out on you for it.  I would do it just for spite though.  lol.</div><div>
</div><div>I actually had one of my BM tell me that I was lucky that I got engaged when I did because she was just about to cut all of her hair off.  I looked at her like she had ten heads and said just because she was in my wedding party, does not mean I get to say what she can and cannot do with her hair. Nor would I ever tell them how to wear their hair on my wedding day. Shave it for all I care.  It's your head! </div><div>
</div><div>That sounds like it's going to be a FUN wedding... Good luck!!!!</div><div>
</div>

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:35016667-40ac-4f61-99f7-6f23b2dc6de7">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and self-centered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair. Any takers?  <strong>Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her?</strong>
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>I bet ten internetz she calls us all mean, bitter old harpies.</div>

TKzilla

I will say though - I'm having the opposite problem with my bridesmaids. I gave them simple requests for the dress (color, fabric, length) and they all chose the same dress. I offered to pay for them to have their hair done, and they gladly accepted. I showed them some sample pictures and it was like they thought it was a vote, so they all agreed on the same one. One bridesmaid asked if I'd like her to grow out her cropped hairstyle, another asked if I wanted her to change the color of her hair. I'm like "dude, don't care, just please come to the wedding!"

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:8b21d64b-5210-464f-bd3c-02c4ffc6c1f2">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]I will say though - I'm having the opposite problem with my bridesmaids. I gave them simple requests for the dress (color, fabric, length) and they all chose the same dress. I offered to pay for them to have their hair done, and they gladly accepted. I showed them some sample pictures and it was like they thought it was a vote, so they all agreed on the same one. One bridesmaid asked if I'd like her to grow out her cropped hairstyle, another asked if I wanted her to change the color of her hair. I'm like "dude, don't care, just please come to the wedding!"
Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

Maybe that's because how it's been for them in other weddings?  1 of my BM's has been in 9 weddings, my sister has been in 1, and my other friend has been in zero weddings.  They all kept asking me to make decisions about dress, hairstyle, shoes and even jewelry and nail color because in other weddings they were in that's how things were done.  I basically had your same response of "dude, I don't care, I just want you to stand beside me at the wedding"  At first I think they thought I was crazy but now they seem to appreciate me not demanding they look and dress a certain way

nicoleandersonmd

No. That would be fine. It's their hair, why would I care what they do with it. They can dye it pink and get a face tattoo if they want, has nothing to do with me.

Knottie_22382896

In Response to Re:cutting hair?:[QUOTE]is it ok for me to cut my hair before my friend's wedding that i am a bridesmaid in? nbsp;i love her a lot but not the horrible curly style she's picked... i've been thinking of cutting my hair anyway and this would be a good way to avoid the terrible style lolwould you be mad if one of your girls did this?? Posted by popcorn781[/QUOTE]



I wish I've known about this website before. My "friend" made me dye my hair for her wedding and I did it becauseI thought I was being a good bridesmaid. It cost me 150 and she didn't help pay for anything. I think you should do whatever you want..its your hair

fionahalliwell

I think a lot of the power brides get when it comes to dealing with their bridesmaids is fear-based. I think there's this "fear" of the crazy bridezilla that sometimes leads bridesmaids to basically force the bride to make decisions she doesn't care about. Ironically, this only happens when the bride is the farthest thing from bridezilla. That's because bridezillas aren't waiting for bridesmaids to force them into decision-making; they just make the decisions and order people around. The middle ground would be the bride who becomes bridezilla because someone (coordinator, venue person, bridesmaid[s], anyone) puts it in her head that she SHOULD be that. Example: Elka on Hot in Cleveland in the episode "Bridezelka" (and if you don't watch the show and have never seen the episode, you shoult still get your hands on that one, because it's almost as though it came off the boards here at TK). 

This is really in response to Courtania/SB1512, not the OP, who should do whatever she wants with her hair. It's HER hair, after all. The bride just wants a stupid photo. Tell her to buy you a wig if she's so concerned. 

Amyzen83

I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and self-centered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair. Any takers?  Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her?
Posted by Peledreamsofrain

I bet ten internetz she calls us all mean, bitter old harpies."

These posts made me laugh! See the thing I don't get about brides wanting to clone their bridesmaids, is why they don't want the personalities of their closest friends to show in some way? I mean isn't that why she picked them to stand with her?

OP: I say you knock some sense into your bridezilla friend's head, explain to her that the hair style doesn't look good on you and that's that. If she is still insistant, then show her how it will look on you in the most messed up way, then chop your hair off.

Knottie_22388484

I'm the odd one out here...but why don't you just wear your hair like she wants it? I think it is odd to have identical hair styles (my bridesmaids had matching dresses and jewelry) but what will it really hurt you to wear your hair like she wants it? You don't have to frame pictures of yourself or anything, it is just one day.

Cut your hair if that is really what you want to do...but I kinda judge you for being so passive aggressive to cut your hair JUST to avoid a one day hairstyle.

Amyzen83

JamieMichelle12, I think the etiquette breach here is that the bride is dictating how they must wear their hair without considering how the style may not look flattering on some of the women. To avoid drama, OP wants to cut her hair short, which she was probably planning on doing after the wedding anyway... Am I right OP? And etiquette says that the Bride can choose the dress, shoes, and accessories, but it's wrong to tell grown women that they need to spend money to get their hair done a certain way and or make them pay to get their make-up professionally done.

reppunzel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:35016667-40ac-4f61-99f7-6f23b2dc6de7">Re: cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and self-centered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair. Any takers?  Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her?
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Only if we can "hijak" her post/thread as well (i.e. post something ... <em>anything</em> outside of exactly what she wants us to reply to) ...

AJuliaNJ

In Response to Re:cutting hair?:[QUOTE]I would like to open a pool for how long it will take for the bride of this wedding to come here and complain about her 'mean and selfcentered" bridesmaid who DARED to cut her hair.Any takers? nbsp;Any additional money on the tantrum she'll throw about us not supporting her? Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Awesome...I've been waiting for the day when this happens. Has it ever? I feel like it's bound to at some point.

Gumby68

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cutting-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78028af7-0380-43e6-9995-c069b5f6f07fPost:6a008cce-60e8-406d-9173-edf3910a385f">cutting hair?</a>:
[QUOTE]is it ok for me to cut my hair before my friend's wedding that i am a bridesmaid in?  i love her a lot but not the horrible curly style she's picked... i've been thinking of cutting my hair anyway and this would be a good way to avoid the terrible style lol would you be mad if one of your girls did this??
Posted by popcorn781[/QUOTE]

<div>I would not be mad if one of my bridesmaids cut her hair because she wanted to cut it.</div><div>
</div><div>I would second guess who my friends were if they couldn't be adult enough to tell me they didn't like something I had chosen and cut their hair rather than telling me. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm not dictating how my bridesmaids wear their hair, but good friends should be able to be honest with each other--especially for something as simple as a hairstyle. </div>