Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Maggieaha

I'm just wondering who you (or FMIL, etc) are inviting to the rehearsal dinner. What is etiquette for this? I was thinking at LEAST those siblings that live with our parents, our wedding party members, officiant, and maybe grandparents. Anyone else?

Just a note: I have 7 (3 live with mom) siblings, 2 sis-in-laws, 3 nieces/nephews, and 1 grandparent, and my parents are divorced and super awkward around eachother (not sure if I should invite my dad); FI has 5 siblings, 4 living grandparents, and his parents are still together. 4 people are in our wedding party. There's a potential for about 30 people. Too many? I've only been to one RD and don't really remember who was there.

We may have a cookout dinner at a park or something because we're getting married on July 1st.

MattsPenguin

Typically it is the immediate family of the bride and groom (parents, siblings, grandparents), the wedding party, and the officiant.  Also, anyone else who is coming to the rehearsal (e.g. readers).

I don't think that 30 people is a huge number.  If it's a question of cost, you have the right idea about doing a cookout or just ordering pizza.

ETA: significant others of those invited should also be invited.

efj.btw2011

For mine I have invited my siblings (three-plus two in laws) the wedding party, grandparents and way out of town guests. I want a chance to spend time and in some cases meet members of both my FI and my family. We are inviting about 40 to a similar outdoor BBQ! we did the same thing for my brothers wedding and it was amazing!

bamagal89

We are having family, officiant, grandparents, wedding party and SOs.  It is going to end up being about 40 people.  We are having it at a steak house (no minimum and reasonable menu - plus they have AMAZING cobbler ). 

slwager

we're having (god help me) about 130 people because it's a destination for many (wedding in Maine where FH is from-my family is from NY, CA & Cleveland).

that being said we had the budget to do it.  you only need to invite WP and it's very nice to include OOT guests and close family

bczican77

We just did our rehearsal dinner contract signing thing last night at the site. I thought we were only going to invite our WP (which is 17 people), their SO's and kids and our parents.  I was promptly told by FMIL and FSIL that ALL out of town family also must be invited. Our rehearsal dinner number is sitting at 90.  I'm not paying for it, so I didn't feel like it was my place to challenge who should and shouldn't be there.

DNAtime

We also just booked ours, we got a private party room at a new bar/restaurant in town. We are pretty excited.

We are inviting, immediate family, WP, officiant AND oot family. This is turning out to be about 40 people for us. 

To answer your question: Who NEEDS to be invited to the RD is anyone you are having attend the rehearsal. 

Its a nice gesture to invite siblings, grandparents and other immediate family.  This is strongly recommended.

My FMIL wanted to invite OOT family.  This is optional, but a lot of people like to do it.

Some people will literally invite the entire guest list.  Thats totally up to you .

bigsmileychick

We are inviting wedding party, all 3 sets of parents, grandma, officiant and wedding planner. That come out to be about 25. OOT guests - if they are a close family member (i.e. grandma) then they are invited too. We are inviting our wedding parties' dates as well. Comes out to be approximately 25 people. Rented banquet room. 

hlq2011

We are inviting siblings, grandparents, parents, wedding party, readers, cantor, deacon, and significant others.  Oh, and FI and I.  I think that covers everyone, and brings us up to 45 people.  I would love for it to be smaller, but go us and our 12-person wedding party, and my blended family.

OOT were not an option for us, because it would have been wedding part 1.

Maggieaha

Thanks for the input everyone! I never thought about OOT guests! I think we'll only have a few, but that might be something to consider for us.