"Jack and Jill" party?

jcrmc

Neither FI or I are party people - he doesn't drink at all, I will have a drink or two on special occasions (if that!). Neither of us wants a blown out Bachelor/ette party. Would it be ok to host our own party a weekend or two before the day?

Avion22

You can host your own party to celebrate with friends, but don't make it about the wedding.   Calling it a bachelor/bachelorette would be in poor taste if you're throwing the party yourself (as those are traditionally thrown in the B&Gs honor).

I'm not sure what you mean by the term "Jack and Jill" -- do you mean just a coed party?  In some parts of the US and Canada, "Jack and Jill" is a term used for a fundraising party where the couple sells tickets and invites friends a a way to make money for the wedding.  Is that what you are talking about?

DramaGeek

What kind of party are you talking about?  If you mean "hey friends, come over and hang out and have a good time" then yes.  If you mean "hey friends, come to our combined bachelor/bachelorette party" then no, that would not be ok.

Kristin789

No, you don't want to do a JACK AND JILL.  That kind of fundraising to pay for your wedding is just really bad.

You could do some kind of cookout or bowling party or something - but it would NOT be a bachelorett/bachelor party because you really can't host a party for your own wedding.

kmmssg

Agree with Drama and Avion, need to know what you mean by the term Jack and Jill.  It is used to describe a coed shower OR it is used to describe a fundraiser for your wedding that is in very poor taste.

jessicabessica

You shouldn't host your own pre-wedding parties--it doesn't matter how low-key they are.  While you could have a non-wedding-related party, it sounds like you want a wedding-related party, and at a week or two before the wedding, I think it could be hard to make it non-wedding-related, even if you wanted to.  I would skip it.  If someone offers to host it for you, though, that's fine, and it can certainly be co-ed if the host is ok with it.

Gustafson28

I agree with stage. Wait and see if anyone offers to throw you a party and if not go out with FI for a nice dinner on the town instead. You could even invite a few people over for a tv/board game /cards night to just relax before the big day. Sounds like that's up you alley anyways.

wrigleyville

If someone offers to throw a party for you, you could mention you'd prefer something low-key. I'm not into drinking and partying at the bar either, which my MOH knows, so she mentioned she'd probably put together a movie night and order pizzas. A night with the ladies doesn't have to be a blow-out drunkfest (not that there's anything wrong with that; it's just not my cup of tea).

In some regions, a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party is known as a "Jack and Jill". Is that what you meant? We ask because, in some other regions, a "Jack and Jill" party is a fundraising party where guests purchase tickets to attend, and that money is used to help pay for the wedding.

jcrmc

FYI in Canada (or at least where I'm from) Jack and Jill just means a combined co-ed party celebrating before the wedding with friends - something casual and fun-to-raucous.

I would NEVER EVER EVER fundraise for my wedding!!!!!! E V E R!!!!! Ick!!!!!!

jcrmc

Also, while my MOH (my sister) knows I don't really drink (again, one or two drinks at special occasions) she drinks to get drunk, then continues to drink for the hell of it. My other bridesmaid will be 15 at the time of the wedding.

My FI's BM drinks if there is drinking, the GM drinks and smokes weed like it's going out of style. He (the GM) wants to go to a strip club and party hard. FI does not drink or do drugs...hell, it's hard for me to get him to take Advil/Tylenol when he hurts his back!!!

It's almost a year away, and I know I shouldn't be worried about it...I just would feel so awkward if my sister plans something SHE wants instead of something *I* would enjoy....meh.

Gustafson28

It's a year away so don't worry. Also I'm from Canada as well an it tends to mean fundraising here. It tends to be more circles than location. You might not even have a party thrown for you.