etiquette question = small wedding + wedding announcements.

carissadollar

My Fiance & I have been engaged for 3 years. We wanted to elope, but our mothers were VERY insistent that we include family. So we are having a 30 person ceremony and reception at a restaurant. We cannot fit more guests, so we are only inviting 30 of the closes friends and family members. Since we've been engaged for so long and never really told people when & where we planned to marry, I thought wedding announcements might be appropriate. However, I do not want it to be a  - "look you weren't invited" or "please send gifts to:" at all. I just want to let people know we are married now. Any advice?

Avion22

The day after the wedding (or the Monday, if it's a Saturday), mail simple announcements to the effect of:

Anna Jones and John Smith

happily announce that they were joined in marriage

in a private ceremony

on October 20, 2012

Charlotte, North Caolina

Most people will understand that "private" means "really really small."  This isn't rubbing it in their faces that they weren't invited, and it isn't a request for gifts. Some people might want to send you gifts anyway.   

My first (late) husband and I did this when we got married. We both came from large extended families, but only parents, siblings, and grandparents were invited to the wedding.  Everyone else got announcements.  We got a few congratulatory cards, but nobody sent us gifts (except the people who attended).