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And Guest??? Sticky Situation!

ale11390ale11390 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have a really sticky situation for a certain guest on our guest list.  Before I explain the situation, I need to say that I understand the rule of trying your hardest to find out the guest's name.  With that said, here is my situation.  I have a guest that I am inviting to our wedding and he is recently divorced.  Ugly situation.  I do not want him to feel ackward, so can I just put and guest on the invite?  I know that he has went on a few dates with a woman, but I am not sure it is serious enought to put her name on the invitation.  What should I do?
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Re: And Guest??? Sticky Situation!

  • ThankfulSnailThankfulSnail member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Call around to any mutual friends/family and casually ask if he has a girlfriend right now. If the answer is yes, find out her name. If the answer is no, and he is truly in the process of getting divorced and therefore single, you can just put "and guest" on the invitation.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Personally, I would make a small attempt to see if it's serious or not, but I would not make it a huge mission.   If it wasn't clear I would put 'and guest'.  

    I'm all about finding out SO names, but would give a side-eye to someone who would get offended over being an 'and guest' in a few week old relationship. 

    FWIW - I gave my SIL and 'and guest'.  She was on a break with her long time BF when the invites went out (one of many I might add).  I wanted her to have a date, but not locked to him if they were not going to get back together.  They did get back together and he came to the wedding, but the 'and guest' was not a big deal. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • ale11390ale11390 member
    First Comment
    Ok, thanks!  We are planning on sending our the invites mid-May, so I know I have time but I wanted to make sure that I wasn't being rude by having and guest if I still am not sure if they are together or not.
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  • kccgcckccgcc
    First Comment
    I put "and guest" on a few of mine, it may not be proper but I definitely don't think it's rude.
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  • egeurtsegeurts
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I'm doing "and guest" for a few of my invites... I happen to know the people are casually dating and I want them to feel comfortable bringing a guest, but I'm not sure if they are in an actual relationship. 

    One is my FSIL, and she has been bouncing between seeing her ex-boyfriend and a new guy, and by the time the wedding rolls around I'm not sure who she'll be with. Another is one of my bridesmaids who has been casually seeing a guy, and I actually know the guy's name, Dan, but I feel like if I address the invite to both of them then it'll somehow solidify things that aren't yet solid. I know don't want to put that sort of pressure on them because they're both really shy- so I plan on just putting "guest" on the invite. That way if she wants to bring him she can, but there's no pressure if he doesn't want to come and they don't want to be a "couple" yet. Ugh, it's complicated. 
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    You are inviting HIM.  So address your invitation to HIM.

    Then you want him to know that it's OK if he brings someone.  So include a note in the envelope that says:  Mark, if you would like to bring someone with you to the wedding, please put her name and your name on the response card.  Thanks!  Jane
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