No RSVP's

lbrancato

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it bad etiquette to not send back an RSVP card even if you are not attending?  The cut-off date for my RSVPs to be in is in three days and 2/3 of my guests have not responded one way or the other.  I included a response envelope and a stamp in the invitation.  Some people that I have asked have said that they are planning on coming and just keep forgetting to send it back.  Besides just needing to know if they are coming, I also need to know their meal choice which is also on the RSVP card.   I don't want to guess and needlessly pay for a bunch of extra meals but I also don't have time and don't want to call 200 people to ask if they are coming or not.  Is this a common problem and is it just me or are these people being horribly rude?

Mrs.B6302007

The proper thing to do is to send back the RSVP card with either an accept or decline.  People might be just putting theirs in the mail today so wait a few days after the date has passed and then start calling for firm answers.  Calling sucks but it goes with the territory.

aragx6

I don't know of anyone who has 100% of their invited guests send their card back. Wait until about three days after your deadline has passed and then start calling people -- pretty much everyone has to do this.

wadingmoose

It's common.  I think a lot of people think they only respond if they are attending.  That said, I know people who have forgotten to RSVP.

Mrs.B6302007

STupid knot ate my post.


Yeah, it sucks that they're not responding but it's a common problem.  A lot of people might be just now sending theirs back so wait a few days past the actual date and start calling.  Calling does suck but it goes with the territory.

lbrancato

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:0612f2d7-bce5-4d88-a77e-e1c6a916378d">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sure you were exaggerating, but if only 2/3 of your people have already responded, and you're picturing calling 200 people, how big is your wedding?! :-)

Sadly, I'm not exaggerating.  We have 330 people on the guest list.  Also sadly, I screwed up royally and put the RSVP deadline date the same date that the reception hall needs the final head count.  So I don't have the luxury of waiting a couple of days and calling people.  Not sure how to handle this...

lbrancato

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:cb5175ce-cf5b-4019-bf8c-4280bc44bae1">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No RSVP's : [QUOTE]I'm sure you were exaggerating, but if only 2/3 of your people have already responded, and you're picturing calling 200 people, how big is your wedding?!

I said that wrong I think.  2/3 of my guests have NOT responded. 

wadingmoose

Contact your venue and see if they have wiggle room for you and your head count.  They can probably give you a day or so of grace.  Probably.

chelseamb11

We had about 1/2 missing when the date pased.  I'd give it an extra few days and start making phone calls.  A large majority of the RSVPs we DID get showed up in those last few days. Just give it time.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:5cfbebb0-e29b-4867-ba1d-fa08ca67927a">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]Contact your venue and see if they have wiggle room for you and your head count.  They can probably give you a day or so of grace.  Probably.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Yes, I would do this right now.

specialk84

Most venues allow you to adjust your numbers up after the deadline has passed. We had to do that, since I goofed when I emailed the coordinator.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:d60a700c-e591-4f62-a6a9-75ed84ac54ce">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]Most venues allow you to adjust your numbers up after the deadline has passed. We had to do that, since I goofed when I emailed the coordinator.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

I goofed in my count and didn't realize it until the night before when we were putting out place cards and I came up with 2 extra seats.  I panicked because I thought I'd forgotten someone. 

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:e67d99f3-88bb-4507-b024-489dc5ee00b3">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No RSVP's : I goofed in my count and didn't realize it until the night before when we were putting out place cards and I came up with 2 extra seats.  I panicked because I thought I'd forgotten someone. 
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

<div>I had to send a very panicked email that read, "I forgot to add my aunt and her whole family to my count. Can you please add on four more adult meals? Also, please add two kid's meals and high chairs." It was not a problem.</div><div>
</div><div>Moose, I've enjoyed seeing you around here recently. I was lurking under a different sn when you were posting regularly, so I kind of remember you from then. I also remember hearing about your awesomeness.</div>

loca4pook

I suggest having someone ELSE ask if the people are coming. The reason I say this is some people will feel obligated to tell YOU "yes" even if they answer is "no"...then they will just no show on you leaving you to pay for a person who never shows. People are more likely to be honest to someone else....just my two cents


n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:b9a8fbda-0b27-4393-964b-d71208ca7202">No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it bad etiquette to not send back an RSVP card even if you are not attending?  The cut-off date for my RSVPs to be in is in three days and 2/3 of my guests have not responded one way or the other.  I included a response envelope and a stamp in the invitation.  Some people that I have asked have said that they are planning on coming and just keep forgetting to send it back.  Besides just needing to know if they are coming, I also need to know their meal choice which is also on the RSVP card.   I don't want to guess and needlessly pay for a bunch of extra meals but I also don't have time and don't want to call 200 people to ask if they are coming or not.  Is this a common problem and is it just me or are these people being horribly rude?
Posted by lbrancato[/QUOTE]

spartybride3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7938f03d-da83-4134-8cb5-e5661c4fd38fPost:0fbfb491-1665-453e-8f16-095e2f46acb2">Re: No RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]That's normal. You'll get most of them on the RSVP date, and then another bunch 3 days later, because some people forget to mail them until the RSVP date. Wait a week after the RSVP date and then start calling people.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto. When we called people, we got a lot of "Oh yeah I forgot about that" (insert ditzy voice here). </div><div>
</div><div>I agree...how hard is it to check a box, lick the envelope, and throw it in the mailbox???!!!

</div>

bonge

i still do not have all of my rsvp's & my wedding is next weekend. They wont respond either. I have tried contacting them all, they are going as no's.