I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is

shannonalise

.

shannonalise

What should I do IF I get the email...

wadingmoose

I dunno.  He obviously didn't make the list in the end.  Should you go and support your friend or stay home because you're pissed that his fiancee didn't put you on the A-list?

How good a friend are you really?

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:525bfd02-598c-414d-8284-b6da08f37c01">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]I dunno.  He obviously didn't make the list in the end.  Should you go and support your friend or stay home because you're pissed that his fiancee didn't put you on the A-list? How good a friend are you really?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Well, there's water under the bridge with this friend anyway. This is kind of the last straw I guess. The entire reason we even had the conversation about my FI and I being invited to their wedding was that he was trying to explain to me that even though he's been a pretty crappy friend for the last several years (to many, many people) that he obviously still cared enough about me to allow me to make the cut in his wedding. It's complicated.

bethsmiles

Wow, that is super tacky. I wouldn't go. The most I would do is send a nice card.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:913344a1-1ce7-47b8-8687-dd5a3a201110">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, that is super tacky. I wouldn't go. The most I would do is send a nice card.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

Yep. That's what I'm thinking.

zippityb

I would send them a copy of Hall and Oates' Kiss on my List. And also a copy of Schindler's List.

amagwire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:913344a1-1ce7-47b8-8687-dd5a3a201110">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, that is super tacky. I wouldn't go. The most I would do is send a nice card.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

Do that. I wouldn't go either.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:b9748d85-678e-4a74-91e1-7057ab0b302b">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]I would send them a copy of Hall and Oates' Kiss on my List. And also a copy of Schindler's List.
Posted by zippityb[/QUOTE]

That's an excellent idea.

One of my best friends (who made the cut) had the idea that I should order Surf 'n Turf from one of those websites that ships meats with dry ice and enjoy it thoroughly before filling the empty box with dog turds from the front yard and mailing it to them with a note that says, "So and so! Please enjoy this on behalf of us! Sorry we can't make it! Love you!"

And she definitely put links to all of their online registries as her facebook status one day. I want to stab her in the eye.

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /> I'm feeling so biitchy today. And that sounds like a great idea.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:f64f02e8-409c-404d-8a69-7cdfc17e35fc">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is : Well, there's water under the bridge with this friend anyway. This is kind of the last straw I guess. The entire reason we even had the conversation about my FI and I being invited to their wedding was that he was trying to explain to me that even though he's been a pretty crappy friend for the last several years (to many, many people) that he obviously still cared enough about me to allow me to make the cut in his wedding. It's complicated.
Posted by shannonalise[/QUOTE]

So, if he's a crappy friend, why do you care about whether or not you made the a-list?

MissLeahM

Don't be mean about it, it just makes you no better than them. One scenario, and it would be a SMALL chance, maybe they already have your address so they didn't need to email you.

But whatever, just don't be petty about it.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:bce73cf0-df82-4784-b2c3-1801a71e7b3d">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is : So, if he's a crappy friend, why do you care about whether or not you made the a-list?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Thus, my struggle with this "friendship" for the last 5 or so years. We have known one another for about 15 years. I guess he's like family at this point. Really crappy family. You don't really want to hang out with him, but you wouldn't mind receiving an invite to the wedding.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:fb01d275-3502-4ebe-a7b7-661cce6e0e62">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be mean about it, it just makes you no better than them. One scenario, and it would be a SMALL chance, maybe they already have your address so they didn't need to email you. But whatever, just don't be petty about it.
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I know. You're right. I'm not really going to mail a to-go box of dog poo to them. But it was still fun to think about. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

wadingmoose

See, I don't understand this.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:9868b173-42ee-4729-8678-fa1f50138895">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]See, I don't understand this.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

:::shrugs::: You tried though. A for effort! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

jennylove810

No, Shannon.. I totally get where you're coming from and why you're peeved.  Friendships get funky and can run their course, but the way I'm understanding this is you used to be close friends with this guy, but his FI is biitchface, you thought you were def getting an invite to the wedding because he himself said you were, and now you may or may not be.. right?  That would annoy the crap out of me, too.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:a0e6d61d-dfde-4d97-bc9f-f18c346db064">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]No, Shannon.. I totally get where you're coming from and why you're peeved.  Friendships get funky and can run their course, but the way I'm understanding this is you used to be close friends with this guy, but his FI is biitchface, you thought you were def getting an invite to the wedding because he himself said you were, and now you may or may not be.. right?  That would annoy the crap out of me, too.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

That is exactly what is going on. It's pretty annoying, but I'm going to get over it. Thanks so much for getting where I'm coming from!

scoetto

I probably wounldn't bother saying or doing anything. People change. Relationships change. Such is life.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-list-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b755547-0f17-4ac9-a46e-80ca4ce22512Post:f487f5ff-f4ac-4725-9aff-7b388adcc4ba">Re: I didn't make "the list" - The A List, that is</a>:
[QUOTE]I probably wounldn't bother saying or doing anything. People change. Relationships change. Such is life.
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]

True, true. :::Currently building a bridge with which to get over it:::

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

I don't know why I was so pissy about it earlier. I'm feeling less dramatic right now.