Registry cards in engagement invitations?

Snippylynn

This whole thing makes me want to rip my hair out.

@!$$@ ETIQUETTE BOARD.

sassy8179

LOL, Yes, i have found these past two days quite entertaining myself.

Ok, let's give it a rest... I have things to do today and am back out to work tomorrow so I won't have so much time to chit chat with you lovely ladies.

I'm going to check out some more "fun and light" threads... like honeymoons, yay!!!

I wish you all a wonderful rest of your weekend and try not to get stressed over the small things.

SheriBaby76

I'm never offended by registry info. I'm a busy woman, and I hate shopping. Having registry info makes my day easier...get online, click, done!

uniqueshanny

......um, I don't think I've ever gotten a wedding invitation WITHOUT registry information. I don't know wtf these people are talking about, I've never heard that you aren't supposed to put registry information in the invitations. I don't know anything about the engagement party, I've never been to one of those. word of mouth might have worked at one time, but nowadays when everyone is all over the country and you my be inviting people from different circles who may not know your family or wedding party....I don't see a problem with it. what's the point of registering if you don't tell people where you did so? weird.

Snippylynn

Once again:  If you don't know or understand the etiquette behind something, do not post about it on the etiquette board.  See how that works?  You have tons of other boards to spout incorrect assumptions on your part.  This is the one place here where that doesn't happen.

brookelynpaisley

Oh my gosh, I woke up to find this BS still going on! It's like fvcking Christmas!

To all you people who don't get the points we're trying to make:

- whether or not you're okay with something isn't the point. OP asked what the proper etiquette is. Etiquette doesn't state to "do whatever the norm is in your circle." It states to not include registry information in invitations other than the shower invitation (and website, but that's a modernization of etiquette). You may not agree with it, but when the question is "what's the right way?" your little 5% of the population take on it isn't the correct answer. End of god damn story.

We're not being "uptight" about this stuff. While you may not care, there are people who do. The above paragraph is rellevent yet again.

banana468

Thanks brooklyn!!

sassy8179

Don't worry uniqueshanny and puCCake, it's just a case of the etiquette/veteran bullies having a constant case of PMS.

I'm not sure they realise that there are places that state this etiquette in black and white (you know, the etiquette bible law book), but the reason people still ask about it on forums is to get different people's opinions and perspectives. I do believe that's the purpose of forums, no? Or else why would people other than the experts be allowed to take part in these messagebaords anyway?

Darn me and my free speech.

Mrs.B6302007

Ah, Sassy.  Now I'm disappointed that I complimented you yesterday about being more mature than a lot of the posters we see on here.

You are certainly entitled to have an opinion on this board but the thing is, the OP didn't ask an an opinion type of question.  Somewhere in this long thread it turned into sharing of opinions but her original question is truly an etiquette question.  Seasoned knotties gave her the proper etiquette answer, not their opinions.  The two have to stay separate.

sassy8179

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:a1d1936b-1288-4e6b-86ac-ed2a869f0a06">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ah, Sassy.  Now I'm disappointed that I complimented you yesterday about being more mature than a lot of the posters we see on here. You are certainly entitled to have an opinion on this board but the thing is, the OP didn't ask an an opinion type of question.  Somewhere in this long thread it turned into sharing of opinions but her original question is truly an etiquette question.  Seasoned knotties gave her the proper etiquette answer, not their opinions.  The two have to stay separate.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Mrs. B, i'm sorry for disappointing you, I did think of you when i wrote what I wrote. And I had all intentions of not writing a single thing else on this board. I just got really annoyed when other people wrote how they felt on the matter and certain people just jumped down their throats! I don't think that's fair at all. They didn't deserve that reaction and I felt I had to step up against the bullying nature of this thread.

Mrs.B6302007

I promise you, this was a very mild thread as far as jumping goes.  Stick around...you'll see.  ;-)

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:34083685-4f64-4e91-a66c-69c1123f218e">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : Mrs. B, i'm sorry for disappointing you, I did think of you when i wrote what I wrote. And I had all intentions of not writing a single thing else on this board. I just got really annoyed when other people wrote how they felt on the matter and certain people just jumped down their throats! I don't think that's fair at all. They didn't deserve that reaction and I felt I had to step up against the bullying nature of this thread.
Posted by sassy8179[/QUOTE]

Ditto B.

Plus, I think that touches on the issue getting back to the OP.   The answer doesn't have to do with feeling.  It has to do with what is and isn't correct etiquette.

If the question was, "What do you think?" then answer with an opinion.   However that's not how the question was phrased at all.

And perhaps etiquette does vary by country.  However the etiquette HERE in the US is that including registry information with wedding or engagement party invitations IS NOT appropriate etiquette. 

So if you wish to offer the etiquette of another country then go for it.  To say that you're just going to jump to the defense of others who offered a different opinion without backing up YOUR opinion with any substantial source also smacks of offering opinion on the matter - again, not a statement on etiquette.

To add to it you insulted people and then tried to come back by playing it off as a joke.  It wasn't funny and you already dug yourself into the hole with the comments.    While I may strongly disagree with you, I haven't called you names.    You may not like the way the thread has gone, but you're the first one to start in on the profanity.

Mrs.B6302007

 Every board on this forum (well, any forum for that matter) has its own voice and feel.  E's voice is loud while some of the other boards on here tend to be much quieter. A lot of E regs jump around the boards though so sometimes those boards can have some intense discussions, too.  If you stick around E, you'll learn pretty quickly which threads to avoid if you don't want to get into a heated discussion so just chat in the "safe" ones if you'd rather.

sassy8179

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:e6e7b83f-1cf3-4fb5-ae1b-6f807ba7d534">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : Ditto B. Plus, I think that touches on the issue getting back to the OP.   The answer doesn't have to do with feeling.  It has to do with what is and isn't correct etiquette. If the question was, "What do you think?" then answer with an opinion.  <strong> However that's not how the question was phrased at all. </strong>And perhaps etiquette does vary by country.  However the etiquette <strong>HERE in the US is that including registry information with wedding or engagement party invitations IS NOT appropriate etiquette.</strong>  So if you wish to offer the etiquette of another country then go for it.  To say that you're just going to jump to the defense of others who offered a different opinion without backing up YOUR opinion with any substantial source also smacks of offering opinion on the matter - again, not a statement on etiquette. <strong>To add to it you insulted people and then tried to come back by playing it off as a joke. </strong> It wasn't funny and you already dug yourself into the hole with the comments.    While I may strongly disagree with you, I haven't called you names.    You may not like the way the thread has gone, but you're the first one to start in on the profanity.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

You're right, her specific phrase was "I have heard that you are not supposed to, then read that it is ok.  Help please" She asked for help, which does not imply that she only wanted the hard and fast rules, she just wanted help on making her decision... sorry if i was just trying to help.

Clearly from this thread, there are people from YOUR country who feel the same way as I do, so it not just a sentiment felt outside the US.

Well it WAS a joke, because I don't really expect you wonderful ladies to have PMS resulting in the comments you make to people. I was being sarcastic because I think it's ridiculous how ruffled your feathers get over something that is, in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. The only name i have called anybody (and no one specifically) is a bully, and that's because <em>some</em> of you are.

squirrly

I have a headache. 

heatherb84

If you want your guests to know where you are registered, pass along your registry cards to the people planning your shower. From previous experience, for shower purposes it is very helpful. Do not include them in your wedding invitations - 1. Most guests will give you cash rather than a present; 2. If a guest wants to get you a gift and wasn't invited to the shower they will contact your parents or a member of the wedding party (if that information is known). 

Good luck and the best in what you decide to do!

lsanchez18

Well, would it be ok to include the registry cards in the SAVE THE DATE cards?

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:07795022-dae8-47c4-9b1b-9be15346379d">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, would it be ok to include the registry cards in the SAVE THE DATE cards?
Posted by lsanchez18[/QUOTE]

That is also completely against proper etiquette.   Registry information can be mailed in shower invitations only.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : I disagree. I have a lot more information on my website than just my registry info. I also am going with the times and culture and know that my family and friends are all computer savvy and like the idea of the website. If people don't have time to look at a website, I don't understand how you all think that they will 'have time' to call around or search registries to find where you are registered. It's a convenience thing without throwing it directly in their faces that you want  gift from X place. <strong>I also have seen multiple etiquette sites and have read multiple books on it and all say different things. So I don't think any one of us is right in dictating what etiquette is.</strong> She should be able to make her own decision, it IS her wedding and she will know what is best for her guests and what they will think is proper.
Posted by JodiK111111[/QUOTE]
Probably the one that doesn't look like you're sending a demand for gifts.

I'm curious what people would think if birthday celebration invites came with a gift list - does anybody else think that would look odd? So why doesn't that translate over to a wedding reception, which is the same thing in that it's just (usually) a bigger party? I really don't get it.

Liz.P.A

I heard through off beat bride that you can put a registry website on the invites and thats what I did. I'm an older bride and have everything so I went to this website to register for donations towards a honeymoon. The website is www.uponourstar.com if your interested.  

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:d18b3fc5-6201-4ada-b753-4162bcaaa404">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard through off beat bride that you can put a registry website on the invites and thats what I did. I'm an older bride and have everything so I went to this website to register for donations towards a honeymoon. The website is <a href="http://www.uponourstar.com" rel="nofollow">www.uponourstar.com</a> if your interested.  
Posted by Liz.P.A[/QUOTE]


Way to resurrect a dead thread. with bad advice.