Wedding Etiquette Forum

How/When/Who Wedding Party?

Looking for tips on how to ask my Bridesmaids into the wedding. My fiance simply asked his Groomsmen verbally (in passing basically) but I would like to ask the ladies more formally. Does anyone have any suggestions on cute "invites" and when is a good time to ask?
Grayson Kirby Born Feb 15th

Re: How/When/Who Wedding Party?

  • You don't need cute invites, the honor is in being asked, not in how you are asked. Your FI really did it the right way. If you want to make it more formal, you could ask them lunch or something to ask.

    Ask each friend separately though, in case they can't be a BM for whatever reason. You don't want them to feel pressured to say yes just because everyone else does. And don't ask until 6-9 months before your wedding.
    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I didn't do anything cute...I just kinda said "hey do you wanna do this? It would mean a lot to me and I swear the dress won't be awful" but we're not a very sentimental group.  

    I would just do something from the heart, don't go crazy with it.  They will be honored just to be asked.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • You are getting married in September, no?

    If so, I think it's okay to ask now. As for the invites, I'm not a fan of them. I would rather ask my BMs in person than send them a piece of paper.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I asked my friends face-to-face, except one girl I had to ask over the phone.  I do not understand the point of trying to find cutesy, "formal" ways to ask.  I asked one of my BMs over dinner out, but that was only because we live far apart and FI and I went to dinner with her when we were in town, to catch up.
    image
  •   I asked my girls in person, each one individually. It was best that way because some had to decline.
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyName Ticker
  • I am with the others. Just ask them in person. Perhaps you could take them out to lunch or coffee if that is possible.

    The wedding industry perpetuates all these fancy cards and ways to ask your BM's, but it really isn't necessary and a big waste of money. I would much rather be asked in person.
  • I agree with some of the recommendations to take them out to lunch or coffee. When I asked my maids, I took them out to lunch and gave them some flowers and put on the little card "Will you be my bridesmaid?" or something like that and they were beyond thrilled. Don't think too much into it, just do something fun and don't bother buying anything fancy or spending too much $ unless that something that you really want to do.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I also just asked in person.  I wanted to be there and see their reactions.  Each one was thrilled and it was so much fun!  I was so excited I pretty much just blurted it out.  There was much hugging.  It makes for great memories!
  • I asked my BMs in person too (over dinner for each of them I think).  It was funny how nervous I got.  It felt like a little date or something.
  • if you want to do something more formal you can do a hand written letter explaining to them their importance to you.  It's cheap and something they can always keep as a reminder.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I asked each one of my girls personally by delivering on of these hand made invitations. They were very simple and easy to make, and they were a hit with the girls and all of my family!

    There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do... I love you Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I took two of them out for tea. We had a great time, and the asking them to be BMs was just a teeny tiny portion of our afternoon.

    The third person I had to ask over the phone because she lives a few hundred miles away and we weren't going to see each other anytime soon.

    I asked them about nine months out, once we'd secured a date and venue.
  • Come join us on the September Board! One of the girls on there posted a link to super cute handmade doily envelopes for things like a card asking your BMs. Although i do agree with PPs that doing it in person is a lot of fun; you could still hand it to them in person.

    I remember reading someone's experience about not hearing back from some of her BMs right away when she sent the BM invite, and it was freaking her out... another plus of doing it in person lol
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
    image
    Vacation
    Married Bio
    Day Zero / Blog
  • I think just asking them individually, face-to-face is really the best option.  You don't need some cutesy invite or a poem or something.  If you want to add a few words about how close you are, that's fine, but really, I think it's kind of corny when people try to do something "special".

    I asked my sister to be my MOH when we were out for what would have been her 5th wedding anniversary.  I was hesitent to do it then, but my mom reassured me that she was actually really eager to focus on my wedding instead of remembering that she was getting divorced.  Turned out to be right, she was really excited and we actually had a lot of fun that night.

    I asked my other friend when we went out for happy hour.  I just kind of asked "would you like to be a bridesmaid?"  then she said "of course" and then we went on with our night...of course we talked about the wedding a little bit, but she was pregnant at the time, so most of my focus was on the baby.

    My other sister lives out of state, so I didn't get to see her face-to-face.  Come to think of it, I never officially 'asked' her, it was just kind of assumed that she'd be a BM, which is obviously true.
    Anniversary
  • I asked all of mine face to face, individually. 
    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards