Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Is my idea of tipping correct?

I've browsed through some other tipping posts and I *think* I know who to tip and who I don't need to, but can someone review this and tell me if I'm on the right track? Just trying to make sure we are budgetting for every possible penny spent.

Venue- includes 20% service fee which I confirmed with them is used to pay the servers.  she said you are not expected to tip on top of that but some couples do when they feel compelled to due to the service.  My venue is all inclusive- food, alcohol, cake, tables, chairs, etc.

Photographer- I think no tip because he works for himself BUT he is brinigng an extra photographer (that we are paying extra for) so I'm not sure on that.

DJ- Again, no because he works for himself and not through a company.

Ceremony guitarist- I'm on the fence about this one.  It's only $300 to hire him, and he's doing special arrangements, so I almost feel like I should set aside something if he does a good job.

Florist- My venue has an in-house florist.  Our table flowers are included in the venue cost, but we are also using her to do the bouquets, which we will pay for.  I don't think it's necessary to tip her.

Hair & Make-up: Yes, definitely will be tipping.

Officiant: We haven't booked one yet but we are doing a secular ceremony so it will probably be someone who works for themselves so in that case I say it can go either way.

Limos: Yes, I would tip the drivers.

I think that about covers it. Does this make sense? Thanks!

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Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?

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    Good questions...and I'd like to further inquire about percentages?  I always tip 20% for hair/makeup stuff normally which I'd carry that over but what about a limo driver?  20% as well?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:1ed812f9-3609-4c91-992d-06fc9d35169d">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good questions...and I'd like to further inquire about percentages?  I always tip 20% for hair/makeup stuff normally which I'd carry that over but what about a limo driver?  20% as well?
    Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

    Hmm I'm most likely doing 20% for the hair and makeup artist but unsure about the drivers! I haven't booked the limos yet so I guess I'll see how much it is first then go from there.
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     I always tip hair stylist 20% on a normal basis, so the wedding was no different.

    The trolley tip was included. I think it was around 15%.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:ac88fd58-ec87-4c23-9fe6-4ee653e7a601">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I always tip hair stylist 20% on a normal basis, so the wedding was no different. The trolley tip was included. I think it was around 15%.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Oh you know, I never thought that the tipping could be included in the limo cost.  Haven't gotten that far yet, although I really need to get on it!

    PS your dog is adorable!
    image
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    thanks.  He's bigger now. I need to update the picture







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:fc9e3149-6f42-4404-bf3e-c8340011e3f2">Re:Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would still tip the servers, since the service fee is used to PAY them and is not gratuity. I would set aside an extra 50 bucks to tip your musician if he does an excellent job. I would also tip your DJ and Photog. In my experience freelancers in this field actually make LESS than employees of larger companies because operating costs and overhead come directly out of the money you are paying them rather than them being paid a flat hourly rate. But that's just me.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    That makes sense.  I cringe a little because the photographer already is costing a lot but I totally see your point on that.  What would be reasonable to tip them though? And the servers?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:a4d65bd8-d96a-4832-ad42-91c05ac0a308">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]thanks.  He's bigger now. I need to update the picture
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Oh he's a big guy! I love the face.  I have a 55-pound basset hound who thinks she's a lap dog.
    image
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    I like the idea of tipping the DJ if he puts on a good party at the end of the night...but if it isn't an awesome experience, probably not.  As for the photographer, I wouldn't want to tip him until after I see the pictures.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:123728bc-4ba5-4c84-9e5d-5a04dfbc4a56">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is my idea of tipping correct? : Oh he's a big guy! I love the face.  I have a 55-pound basset hound who thinks she's a lap dog.
    Posted by avolker1[/QUOTE]

    <div>my "baby" is 14 months old and weighs in at 62lbs.   He also thinks he is a lap dog.  On our trip from NOLA to Indy he wanted to sit on my lap.  Apparently the backseat was too far from us.   He is so needy.  ::rolls eyes::</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    In Response to Re:Is my idea of tipping correct?:[QUOTE]I like the idea of tipping the DJ if he puts on a good party at the end of the night...but if it isn't an awesome experience, probably not. nbsp;As for the photographer, I wouldn't want to tip him until after I see the pictures. Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

    Ditto on the photog. No use tipping for them being good company if the photos aren't amazing
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    Ditto Stage on budgeting some money to tip the guitar, DJ and Photog. A gratuity is to show gratitude for services rendered. If you think they did kick-butt, I highly suggest you tip them either the day of (guitar & DJ) or with a thank you note after the fact. Don't tip the photographer until after the pictures are done. If they are awesome and they do some more creative poses that come out spectacular, tip, if they're just sufficient and not particularly extraordinary, then don't tip. Don't not-tip because TK says you don't have to. Use your own discretion.
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    Wait a minute...  so we are supposed to tip servers on top of the 20% service fee (which we are told is for gratuity)?  That's pretty steep, isn't it?  Maybe this is something that is different for different venues, but if I'm having to pay now 40% of the menu price for service fee AND the servers, well...  that's a lot.
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    Well I have no doubt the dj will do a great job because I've seen him in action at a friend' s wedding, plus two other people I know used him and all had great experiences. 

    As for the 20 percent service charge, this is exactly what my venue coordinator said: "The service charge is considered a general gratuity and allows us to pay our wait staff a generous hourly salary. Most couples will tip specific staff members if they feel they have gone above and beyond.  It is certainly not expected and is totally up to you that night."

    To me, you tip a regular server because they typically are making below min wage for their hourly rate and make most of their money in tips, so if they're already getting paid a fair base pay and being allotted some gratuity from the venue I don't see why you need to tip on top of that.  I guess I'll see how it goes the night of and just have some cash set aside if we decide the service warrants a tip.

    For the photog are we talking 15-20% as well? that would be one hefty tip!
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:8828f477-e1b8-4bbe-ab0e-3b1b01062ad6">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is my idea of tipping correct? : my "baby" is 14 months old and weighs in at 62lbs.   He also thinks he is a lap dog.  On our trip from NOLA to Indy he wanted to sit on my lap.  Apparently the backseat was too far from us.   He is so needy.  ::rolls eyes::
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>haha love it.  They think they're people.</div>
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:ed559ef9-5cd3-4c9c-95fd-d399e3af007b">Re:Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do agree with mlg about tipping the DJ only if he does a great job, but I always tip based on service not societal standards, so there's that. For servers, I'd say 10 to 20 percent of your actual food cost is good, depending on how many servers there are that will have to split it. And I wouldn't tip photog until you at least see proofs of his work, but I know a lot of photogs in my area now set up a laptop and play the raw ceremony photos at the reception. If they did something like that, I would tip them that day.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'd have to ask my venue what the food cost is since its all packaged together- food, alcohol, cake, etc.</div>
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:618d1a37-7b2a-40f4-bc0b-55acb90b1ec6">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well I have no doubt the dj will do a great job because I've seen him in action at a friend' s wedding, plus two other people I know used him and all had great experiences.  As for the 20 percent service charge, this is exactly what my venue coordinator said: "The service charge is considered a general gratuity and allows us to pay our wait staff a generous hourly salary. Most couples will tip specific staff members if they feel they have gone above and beyond.  It is certainly not expected and is totally up to you that night." To me, you tip a regular server because they typically are making below min wage for their hourly rate and make most of their money in tips, so if they're already getting paid a fair base pay and being allotted some gratuity from the venue I don't see why you need to tip on top of that.  I guess I'll see how it goes the night of and just have some cash set aside if we decide the service warrants a tip. <strong>For the photog are we talking 15-20% as well? that would be one hefty tip!</strong>

    I wouldn't say it would have to be 15-20% but maybe an extra $100-300 after the pictures are completed and in hand based on their level of awesomeness and the original cost. Same with the DJ.

    Posted by avolker1[/QUOTE]
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:82a58520-15e0-464e-9d5b-4561f9a0a801">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is my idea of tipping correct? :
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    <div>Since we pay the final balance when we receive the pictures that's probably the easiest time to decide if we want to throw in something extra.  also, the guitarist is the dj,s son, so on some level I'd feel weird tipping the guitarist and not the dj lol.</div><div>
    </div><div>ps why is it so difficult to type on a kindle?</div>
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    Well, how old is the guitarist? Is he like in highschool/college/ just starting out? Or is he a bit older and an established performer? I think it might be nice to "throw the kid a bone" if you kwim.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:086c42a9-dced-46eb-83df-eafb17691313">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, how old is the guitarist? Is he like in highschool/college/ just starting out? Or is he a bit older and an established performer? I think it might be nice to "throw the kid a bone" if you kwim.
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    He's an established performer, and he also teaches music classes at a local college I believe.  He's been so great about working with us to arrange very specific songs that are not what you typically hear at a wedding ceremony, plus I think we're getting a great deal.  I definitely want to give him a little something, assuming all goes well the day of. 

    Thanks for everyone's input! It has been really helpful to talk it out.
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:53571c2e-8de0-4a31-a005-8473af1eed09">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is my idea of tipping correct? : He's an established performer, and he also teaches music classes at a local college I believe.  He's been so great about working with us to arrange very specific songs that are not what you typically hear at a wedding ceremony, plus I think we're getting a great deal.  I definitely want to give him a little something, <strong>assuming all goes well the day of. </strong> Thanks for everyone's input! It has been really helpful to talk it out.
    Posted by avolker1[/QUOTE]

    Which is why I cringe when I see people are tipping prior to! Good luck!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-idea-of-tipping-correct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7cd32472-f2b2-4776-b243-3bef4a334f3fPost:80fc9bfb-ce50-4661-95cb-98818efc0194">Re: Is my idea of tipping correct?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wait a minute...  so we are supposed to tip servers on top of the 20% service fee (which we are told is for gratuity)?  That's pretty steep, isn't it?  Maybe this is something that is different for different venues, but if I'm having to pay now 40% of the menu price for service fee AND the servers, well...  that's a lot.
    Posted by TheShelley[/QUOTE]

    No, that's not true/what was said. Some venues will charge a service fee used for wages for the servers (which is commonly still under minimum wage) in which case you should tip because that's where their true income comes from. If in the contract, the venue states that the 20% is in fact a gratuity (additional to their regular wages), then that is your tip, and you are done.
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