Baby Mama Drama!

StarrT02

My wedding is July 16th, and we're having an outdoor wedding at my parent's house.  I hadn't planned on inviting second cousins because of space and a very large amount of aunts/uncles/first cousins, but when I went to a baby shower for my second cousin's wife, she essentially invited the both of them (in actuality, it means inviting all 18 of the second cousins, plus one's).  To save my mom the hassle of having family drama, we invited the second cousins.  We sent out the invites and when we got the "we invited ourselves" cousins RSVP, she had written that they were going to bring their baby, who will be one month old at the time.  What do I do about it, when we had told everyone that we weren't inviting the little ones in anyone else's family?  Plus, we really don't want a baby crying during the ceremony that's supposed to be the most sacred moments of the entire celebration? HELP!!!

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:decde377-76cc-4829-a9ff-eb0573d71a0f">Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is July 16th, and we're having an outdoor wedding at my parent's house.  I hadn't planned on inviting second cousins because of space and a very large amount of aunts/uncles/first cousins, but when I went to a baby shower for my second cousin's wife, she essentially invited the both of them (in actuality, it means inviting all 18 of the second cousins, plus one's).  To save my mom the hassle of having family drama, we invited the second cousins.  We sent out the invites and when we got the "we invited ourselves" cousins RSVP, she had written that they were going to bring their baby, who will be one month old at the time.  What do I do about it, when we had told everyone that we weren't inviting the little ones in anyone else's family?  Plus, we really don't want a baby crying during the ceremony that's supposed to be the most sacred moments of the entire celebration? HELP!!!
Posted by StarrT02[/QUOTE]

You didn't lurk, did you?

thesequel

Any child who is still breastfeeding is exempt from the whole "no kids" rule.  You cannot expect a one month old to stay with a babysitter without their "food source".

Most parents are good enough about leaving the church/ceremony site to calm the child.

thesequel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:4487276a-0de3-4c9e-8fd9-f97105f24967">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Baby Mama Drama! : You didn't lurk, did you
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>LOVE IT!  :)</div>

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:decde377-76cc-4829-a9ff-eb0573d71a0f">Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is July 16th, and we're having an outdoor wedding at my parent's house.  I hadn't planned on inviting second cousins because of space and a very large amount of aunts/uncles/first cousins, but when I went to a baby shower for my second cousin's wife, she essentially invited the both of them (in actuality, it means inviting all 18 of the second cousins, plus one's).  To save my mom the hassle of having family drama, we invited the second cousins.  We sent out the invites and when we got the "we invited ourselves" cousins RSVP, she had written that they were going to bring their baby, who will be one month old at the time.  What do I do about it, when we had told everyone that we weren't inviting the little ones in anyone else's family?  Plus, we really don't want a baby crying during the ceremony that's supposed to be the most sacred moments of the entire celebration? HELP!!!
Posted by StarrT02[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If she is breastfeeding, people often count that as the exception to a no kids rule.  If you don't want to make that exception, you call her and tell her that you're sorry for the confusion, but the invite was only for her and her H.

</div>

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:836546a4-9b1b-43ed-8d6f-92e6bcb92653">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Baby Mama Drama! : If she is breastfeeding, people often count that as the exception to a no kids rule.  If you don't want to make that exception, you call her and tell her that you're sorry for the confusion, but the invite was only for her and her H.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

This.
I don't have any kids so I don't know much about it; but I know that moms have a hard time going on that date without the baby for the first time... It may upset her if your wedding has to be the first time, since it's not THEIR romantic date, but a family date. I know it sucks to have people that invite themselves; but if you are unable to draw the line with them coming (I have had to do that a couple times), then you might need to accept that the baby is coming. On the bright side, the babe is young so you don't have to pay for another chair, food, or beverages right?

Queen Jane

One month is awfully young to be leaving a newborn for that long, breastfeeding or not. I would get used to the idea that either she will bring the baby, or not come at all. Also, babies sleep a whole lot when they are that little so the chance of him or her crying in the ceremony is small. The chance that you would actually notice is probably even smaller.

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:c1d273b5-5450-4949-b92a-e6829571757a">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]Any child who is still breastfeeding is exempt from the whole "no kids" rule.  You cannot expect a one month old to stay with a babysitter without their "food source". Most parents are good enough about leaving the church/ceremony site to calm the child.
Posted by thesequel[/QUOTE]
This

mrshellem2012

She invited herself.

banana468

A brestfeeding infant isn't necessarily exempt. However understand that saying no baby often means at least one parent will decline.

MiddlesexFells

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:7c166d9f-5cb6-44c0-96ad-7d57795a9db1">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]She invited herself.
Posted by mrshellem2012[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I disagree. Unless she came over in the middle of the night and stole an invitation and returned the rsvp card, I believe the bride invited her. Was she pushy at the shower? Sure. Did the bride HAVE TO invite her? Not so much.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:302a1b5e-1c64-4989-85da-dcb34bbca0a1">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Baby Mama Drama! : This. I don't have any kids so I don't know much about it; but I know that moms have a hard time going on that date without the baby for the first time... <strong>It may upset her if your wedding has to be the first time, since it's not THEIR romantic date, but a family date.</strong> I know it sucks to have people that invite themselves; but if you are unable to draw the line with them coming (I have had to do that a couple times), then you might need to accept that the baby is coming. On the bright side, the babe is young so you don't have to pay for another chair, food, or beverages right?
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

What does this even mean? Is there some special date a mother and father are supposed to go on after the baby is born? This confuses me. What does it matter what the occasion is for the first time leaving a child?

OP - You don't have to invite the child. Just know that not allowing the baby will probably prevent one or both of the parents from attending. That's the choice you have to make.

sarahsaturday2701

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-mama-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d023b9d-b16b-4d65-a35f-58b1fb26017cPost:868b9d52-0574-4567-8e03-adc6a1ccc771">Re: Baby Mama Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]A brestfeeding infant isn't necessarily exempt. However understand that saying no baby often means at least one parent will decline.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.  It sounds like you weren't planning on having them there originally OP, so as long as you understand that saying no to the baby means 1 or both parents may not attend I see no issue.