HM Concern's

7E&G7

My FFIL has offered to send myself and FI on our HM f as a gift however has not given us any detail's other than that we are to stay at the Cayman Islands and the name of the hotel. I have asked FI to get more information so that we can plan accordingly but FI doesn't get anywhere with his father. We have researched the hotel on our own and we found many negative comment's leaving us uncomfortable to the point of not wanting to go. We are very grateful for his gesture but with no details and bad review's how should we address our concern's w/o sounding ungrateful?

bmoruzzi

Oh man, that's tough.  I would let your FI handle it for sure.  Maybe he could say something like "Dad, I really appreciate your offer.  It is incredibly generous.  But, FI and I had already planned on going to x, y, z.  Thank you for the offer."  

Snippylynn

Plan your own and tell your FFIL Thanks but no thanks.  And definitely let your FI handle this.

specialk84

Your FI should talk to his father. He should stress that you two are trying to plan your HM, and you need some more details to see if what he's thinking of will be right for the two of you.

If you aren't comfortable with the arrangements, decline the gift and plan your own HM.

jessicabessica

What other details are you expecting?  It seems like if they tell you the dates and the name of the hotel, you can plan the rest.  Or are you expecting them to plan and pay for your meals, activities, etc.?  Does going to the Cayman Islands for your HM interest you?

As for the negative reviews...are there any positive reviews?  Obviously take online reviews with a grain of salt.  When we were going to Puerto Rico on vacation, some of the reviews on trip advisor were really negative, but then I noticed that their vacation times were when Hurricane Irene was in the area and the complaints were about the sparse selections in the restaurants and the lack of things to do in the area.  If reviews are mixed, I think it might be ok, but if the reviews are mostly or all negative, have FI talk to his parents.  Maybe they would be open to you and your FI suggesting another hotel in the area in the same price range (unless they're doing this as a time share deal or something).

7E&G7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hm-concerns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d1035a4-801e-4887-a656-5f101720e99cPost:fd3561e3-a7fc-4138-8cd7-c3a3d9db69bc">Re: HM Concern's</a>:
[QUOTE]What other details are you expecting?  It seems like if they tell you the dates and the name of the hotel, you can plan the rest.  Or are you expecting them to plan and pay for your meals, activities, etc.?  Does going to the Cayman Islands for your HM interest you? As for the negative reviews...are there any positive reviews?  Obviously take online reviews with a grain of salt.  When we were going to Puerto Rico on vacation, some of the reviews on trip advisor were really negative, but then I noticed that their vacation times were when Hurricane Irene was in the area and the complaints were about the sparse selections in the restaurants and the lack of things to do in the area.  If reviews are mixed, I think it might be ok, but if the reviews are mostly or all negative, have FI talk to his parents.  Maybe they would be open to you and your FI suggesting another hotel in the area in the same price range (unless they're doing this as a time share deal or something).
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]
 As in detail's I mean date's and flight's ( are we booking our flight's or is FFIL). My issue is that FFIL came to us last year with the gift offer and since then will bring up our HM and how he is getting a great price and know's the owner but once we ask when the date's are or should be book our flights he say's that he will get back to us. We are in no way expecting him to go out of his way or pay for flight's but FI and I need to know so that we can book them. As for the location we would love to go to the Cayman Islands, as for review's your right I'll take with a grain of salt but when there are more bad than good review's we are just leary.

7E&G7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hm-concerns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d1035a4-801e-4887-a656-5f101720e99cPost:97cf45e7-d1e9-4824-a304-80dbb2706eba">Re: HM Concern's</a>:
[QUOTE]Plan your own and tell your FFIL Thanks but no thanks.  And definitely let your FI handle this.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
 WE are leaning more toward's the idea of booking our own we just dont' want to hurt FFIL's feelings

specialk84

OP, this is bothering me. When you pluralize a word, you do not need to add an apostrophe.

Dates = more than one date (We're looking at dates for our vacation.)

Date's = The date owns something (My date's cell phone kept ringing.)

7E&G7

Sorry, I'm the worst.

KatePlusNate04

If you decide you still want to go, the next time you see his dad (both of you or just FI), I would just say, "Hey, we are going to be booking flights for our HM this weekend, so we really need the dates you have booked the hotel for us." I would just take it upon yourself to book the flights since he is dilly dallying about it. Another roundabout way to find out the dates if he won't tell you (why not?) is to call the hotel and ask what dates you are there for, since the reservation should be in your name.

As others said, take online reviews with a grain of salt. I'd see what they are complaining about specifically. A rude worker? Chances are you won't be interacting with them much if at all. Bad weather? Out of your control. One bad room that was fixed? I wouldn't worry. I MIGHT worry if a lot of reviews comment on poor cleanliness of the hotel overall, bad food in multiple restaurants (if it's AI), or safety issues. A lot of the other stuff is people nitpicking about small things or an exception to the rule that most likely won't happen to you.

Meghannsix

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hm-concerns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d1035a4-801e-4887-a656-5f101720e99cPost:664bff24-9f87-4a0f-be8e-e201e50c3721">Re: HM Concern's</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, this is bothering me. When you pluralize a word, you do not need to add an apostrophe. Dates = more than one date (We're looking at dates for our vacation.) Date's = The date owns something (My date's cell phone kept ringing.)
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

This is why I love lurking on the E board!  Bad grammar makes me crazy, nice to know I'm not the only one.