Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invited themselves... what to do...

So my wedding isn't for another year, but a friend from high school basically ambushed me on facebook the other day. He asked about my enagement, when it happened and such, then said he wished he and his GF could get married. He then mentioned that a bunch of people he considered freinds hadn't invited him to their weddings, and he as super depressed (not just about that). Suddenly, he sprang this on me. "So, do you think I'm getting an invite?" I tried to avoid it, saying we hadn't even settled on a guest list yet, but we would let people know when we had set that up, and would contact for addressed. Suddenly his address appeared on my screen. This guy is apparently really desperate to come. Normally, I dn't really have a problem with people inviting themselves to my parties. I've always been a "more the merrier" kinda person. But this is my wedding. I'm paying for everything. And we weren't really friends in high school. I was nice to him since he didn't have a lot of other friends. How do I let this person down gently? Has anyone else dealt with this kind of situation?

and no, I cant really just tell him I don't want him there, I'm really uncomfortable with confrontation, and can't be mean to someone like that. 

Re: Invited themselves... what to do...

  •  i wouldnt have said "ill contact you for an address if your getting invited", that does kinda presume an invite should follow, but the damage is done, so I would probably say "we have not made our guest list yet, but are hoping to keep the numbers low/hoping to stick to mostly family and close friends, etc...as long as whatever you do say isnt a lie, if you have a huge wedding and invite tons of people he would know, hes gonna feel it for sure. I would probably avoid talking wedding with said person...change the subject when it comes up and if you cant just reiterate that you while you wish you could invite everyone, you can't (for whatever reason you cite....room, money, numbers, family only, want an intimate ceremony, etc). Stand your ground...or invite him if you really cant stand conforntation because by having the conversation that you did, you did give him hope (however incorrect) that hes probably invited.

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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    I don't know many guys who are jumping at the chance to go to weddings.   Especially guys who aren't even close friends.  This poor guy must be extremely desperate for adult interaction.  0_o

    If he did no immediately pop into your head as a potential guest, then don't invite him.  Don't let his desperation bully you into an invitation.  I would ignore the address reply for now and keep ALL wedding talk OFF of FB.  I'm not saying that you brought it up, but just be careful to not make any comments about weddding planning, dresses, flowers, tastings, etc on there.  If someone posts something about the wedding on your page, don't feed in.  You can ignore the comment or be honest and say "I'm keeping our plans quiet and off of FB" or something along those lines.
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  • Don't invite him!  Just let a magical Facebook "error" delete his address and you are all good.

    It sucks when people try to invite themselves.  Someone heard through the grapevine that we'd gotten engaged and then I ran into them at the mall in passing.  They had moved away but we were so quick to tell me they would love to come and they were not even a blip on my radar of potential invitees.
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