Who to invite for bridal shower

SmallenForever

My FI is insisting that all the women on his side of the family are invited to the bridal shower. The only problem is that most of those women I've either never met or only met once. I don't want to look like I'm only inviting them for gifts. Is it okay to invite people you don't know very well? I don't want to be gift grabby.

SmallenForever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-to-invite-for-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e3981ab-193e-45e9-bd34-13710c739e18Post:765f24df-088b-4c63-8650-faea485cc218">Re: Who to invite for bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]No, you don't need to invite every female on the guest list. You work with whoever is hosting the shower to determine how many people they can accomodate and go from there.  My shower was mostly my aunts and cousins plus H's grandmother, MIL and SIL. 
Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

<div>I know I don't need to invite them, but should I if my FI is insisting? I'd like to make him happy and get to know his family, but I don't want to look gift grabby.</div>

KellyBrian2013

It may be considered normal on his side to invite all or most women to the shower. MIL threw my one and only shower and invited most of the women from H's side to it, many of whom I had only met a handful of times. There were even a few people I'd never met before. That's just what is considered normal on his side. So long as all guests invited to the shower are invited to the wedding, you're good. The other thing to consider, though, is who is hosting your shower. What is their budget? How many people can they accommodate? It is not wrong by any means to tailor the guest list down to fit parameters set forth by the host.

MyNameIsNot

If your shower host has room on the guestlist, and if you want to invite them, it would be ok to invite a few close relatives, even if you don't know them that well.  I would limit it to his mother, grandmothers and aunts though.  I wouldn't go inviting his female cousins you don't know.  

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-to-invite-for-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e3981ab-193e-45e9-bd34-13710c739e18Post:58967bb7-82af-46f9-ac46-183781c106c2">Who to invite for bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is insisting that all the women on his side of the family are invited to the bridal shower. The only problem is that most of those women I've either never met or only met once. I don't want to look like I'm only inviting them for gifts. Is it okay to invite people you don't know very well? I don't want to be gift grabby.
Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

I am going to say it really depends on the family - I have been to showers that every female was invited and been to those where it was very limited family - if it is normal on his side of the family - it may be looked upon as odd if you don't BUT ultimately it is up to whoever is hosting the shower ( who should not be you ) and how large they can handle...

Avion22

It really depends.  

First of all, how many female relatives does he have that he wants you to invite?   Are we talking Mom, Grandma, and sister?  Two grandmas, four aunts, and three sisters?   8 cousins?   

Does your shower host have room for them?   Your host is the one who will actually do the inviting, not you, so a lot of it depends on how many people your host can comfortably accomodate.

Do all of these female relatives live nearby?   Would they be able to make it to a shower in your hometown if they were invited?

In this case, I would say that if your host can accomodate them and they are nearby, then just invite them.  If your host CAN'T accomodate them (or if they don't live nearby), then it sounds like the ideal situation is for someone on his side (your FMIL or  a FSIL?) to offer to host a shower for you and invite the female relatives for that side.    Obviously you can't ask for this....I just would have thought that if it was that important to his side to be at your shower, they would offer to throw you a separate one and invite all of his female relatives.

Jen4948

I think it in part depends on who is hosting the shower.  That person may not be able to accommodate everyone including all the people your FI wants to include.

Maybe if it means so much to your FI that his relatives be invited to the shower, they could hold their own separate shower for you.