Help!!! Didn't include Children but someone is bringing their kids

isav15

For my wedding I had not included children because it wasnt in our budget. I would have loved for all my friends and fam to bring a lot of their younger kids but my fiance and I just can't afford it...Well here is my problem. My cousin is in the Military. He is stationed in Afganastan right now but his wife is going to be in California around the time of my wedding. She sent back the RSVP that she and their two childern would be attending. I hadn't included them in the gust list so I don't know what to do. The only children that will be at the wedding will be my nephews and cousins daughter (there in the wedding party). I know she is family but I would feel bad letting her bring her kids and then telling everyone else they can't bring their kids. Do I just contact her and tell her that the kids cannot come????....Please HELP!!!!

isav15

yes

isav15

but her mother lives not far away from the wedding location so I figured she would have her mom watch her kids.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-include-children-but-someone-bringing-their-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e64753d-17a5-44d4-81e4-6f0470aff04dPost:87dd5190-22b8-45fb-8e34-0a1ace202d3b">Re: Help!!! Didn't include Children but someone is bringing their kids</a>:
[QUOTE]but her mother lives not far away from the wedding location so I figured she would have her mom watch her kids.
Posted by isav15[/QUOTE]

<div>If you have it in your budget/space restrictions to let her come, the fact that they are coming from OOT is an acceptable exception to the no kids rule.  However, if you don't want to make an exception, just call her and tell her that the invite was only for her and that you aren't having any kids outside of the WP.</div>

isav15

If she was making a special trip to come out to my wedding then I would probably reconsider, but she had already planned to come out and visit friends and family in july...so she was able to make it to the wedding because she would already be here.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-include-children-but-someone-bringing-their-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e64753d-17a5-44d4-81e4-6f0470aff04dPost:826a3125-491f-4bea-b633-70d89b3c97e7">Re: Help!!! Didn't include Children but someone is bringing their kids</a>:
[QUOTE]If she was making a special trip to come out to my wedding then I would probably reconsider, but she had already planned to come out and visit friends and family in july...so she was able to make it to the wedding because she would already be here.
Posted by isav15[/QUOTE]

<div>Then just call her and tell her you can't acccommodate the kids.  No big deal.</div>

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_didnt-include-children-but-someone-bringing-their-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e64753d-17a5-44d4-81e4-6f0470aff04dPost:87dd5190-22b8-45fb-8e34-0a1ace202d3b">Re: Help!!! Didn't include Children but someone is bringing their kids</a>:
[QUOTE]but her mother lives not far away from the wedding location so I figured she would have her mom watch her kids.
Posted by isav15[/QUOTE]

I am pro-no kid weddings but  I really hate it when people make assumptions like that.  I have 6 grandkids and it is pretty rare when I can babysit.  I have a full time job with almost 2 hours of road time each day.  I get 6 days off every month.   You have no idea what her parents are doing that weekend and if watching the kids even works for them.  I get that they don't live close, but it's a pet peeve of mine when I see someone post that "so and so's parents can take care of the kids" - seen it a few times over the years.  Just because we are grandparents doesn't mean we are available.

If she can't bring the kids to the wedding will this preclude her from coming?  If so, you need to decide which is more important - having her there with no kids, or having all 3 of them there.  Decide which is more important in the big picture, not just the one day.  Like I said, I'm all for no-kid weddings, but you may have to make a choice here.

isav15

i know her mom and i know what she does for work. i asumed that becasue when she comes into town she stays with her mother so the kids would already be there....i have nephews and i know what you mean by not having time to watch them. but all i wanted was some advice for what i should do....i was debating just letting her bring the kids because they are family, but we are also on a tight budget....plus the fact that her and my aunt (her mother in law0 dont ge along well so i fear that if i keep the kids from coming i will hurt the family in some way....shes the type that if u make her mad she keeps the kids from the fam.......

[Deleted User]

Sorry - I just can't get past all the bad grammar and spelling to figure out what you're trying to say.

Lisa50

The same thing happened to us. 

We were informed by FI's sister that her son and his wife will bring their two little ones: ages 1 and 3.  We're just letting it ride.  FI's sister can be a real drama queen and it's just not worth ruffling her feathers.  We'll inform the venue manager to set up two high chairs and be done with it.

isav15

Lisa 50- Thats probably what I am going to do. If I said that the kids couldn't come then it would be a huge problem and drama that I don't want to deal with....Daffodil-jill..Sorry...I was doing this from my phone and didnt care to go back and do a grammer check...it seems like others got what I was trying to say.