Bridal shower?

qtcowgirl

I need some opinions. With our wedding being such a quick plan, I assumed that I wouldnt have a bridal shower. My DF's mom called the other day and asked if I knew of anyone throwing me a shower, and I told her no I didnt think I was going to have one. She said to talk to my family, and if they arent throwing me one, she will. After talking to my grandma (who is my main tie in my family here in Texas), I was informed that a shower was in poor taste as I do not have many friends out here in Texas yet, that a shower was not to be thrown by family that it is supposed to be done by my friends, and that if I did have a shower I was not to expect two gifts, one at the shower and one at the wedding, that I would only be receiving one gift from people in my family. I told her I wasnt expecting 2 gifts from everyone, nor was I really expecting a shower. Side note, my mother is not in my life so she is not an option to throw the shower. So heres my question, is a bridal shower thrown by family really in poor taste? And should I even have a shower, given my family's opinion? Any thoughts?

qtcowgirl

I have no idea why the font is that way, sorry

dtbluv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-78?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e7f27f3-f58a-4325-8d04-59b69dd0257aPost:bc658a23-15f3-4d25-a73a-4040a9b68998">Bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I need some opinions. With our wedding being such a quick plan, I assumed that I wouldnt have a bridal shower. My DF's mom called the other day and asked if I knew of anyone throwing me a shower, and I told her no I didnt think I was going to have one. She said to talk to my family, and if they arent throwing me one, she will. After talking to my grandma (who is my main tie in my family here in Texas), I was informed that a shower was in poor taste as I do not have many friends out here in Texas yet, that a shower was not to be thrown by family that it is supposed to be done by my friends, and that if I did have a shower I was not to expect two gifts, one at the shower and one at the wedding, that I would only be receiving one gift from people in my family. I told her I wasnt expecting 2 gifts from everyone, nor was I really expecting a shower. Side note, my mother is not in my life so she is not an option to throw the shower. So heres my question, is a bridal shower thrown by family really in poor taste? And should I even have a shower, given my family's opinion? Any thoughts?
Posted by qtcowgirl[/QUOTE]

I'm just quoting so I can read the post, that font is crazy!

Simply Fated

"I need some opinions. With our wedding being such a quick plan, I assumed that I wouldnt have a bridal shower. My DF's mom called the other day and asked if I knew of anyone throwing me a shower, and I told her no I didnt think I was going to have one. She said to talk to my family, and if they arent throwing me one, she will. After talking to my grandma (who is my main tie in my family here in Texas), I was informed that a shower was in poor taste as I do not have many friends out here in Texas yet, that a shower was not to be thrown by family that it is supposed to be done by my friends, and that if I did have a shower I was not to expect two gifts, one at the shower and one at the wedding, that I would only be receiving one gift from people in my family. I told her I wasnt expecting 2 gifts from everyone, nor was I really expecting a shower. Side note, my mother is not in my life so she is not an option to throw the shower. So heres my question, is a bridal shower thrown by family really in poor taste? And should I even have a shower, given my family's opinion? Any thoughts?"


Is that better?

qtcowgirl

Haha yes thank you ladies!!

AddieCake

Technnically a shower should not be hosted by the bride's mother or FMIL, but I think a lot of people are ok with it. I wouldn't really even think twice about who was actually throwing someone's shower. But if you think your family will judge you and be ugly toward you about it, you might want to decline just to save yourself the drama.

Kristin789

FMILL can host an engagement party for you, to meet your FI's extended family.  That would be a nice thing for her to do, and it wouldn't look like you have no friends or like you and your mom aren't close or any other thing like that.

McRogol

My FMIL is throwing my bridal shower and has done so for my SILs as well.  She told my mother it's a Jewish tradition.  My mother is also throwing me a bridal shower in my hometown. I didn't give the whole "family shouldn't throw the shower" thing a second thought.  They're both really excited about it, and initiated it on their own.  To turn them down would have seriously hurt both their feelings.  So, who am I to say that your FMIL shouldn't throw you a shower.  IIn my situation, its a way for my FMIL (mom of all boys) to have fun in the wedding planning process.  So be it.  

pegasuskat

It would not be in poor taste, have your shower and enjoy it!

MrsGandthebeag

It's fine for your FMIL to throw you a shower.  Sounds like your grandma is a bit bitter.  What's her deal?  That's not nice of her to say you don't have many friends.  She can decline, or just dont send her an invite.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-78?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e7f27f3-f58a-4325-8d04-59b69dd0257aPost:4aa86473-c603-4d6a-954f-9f7f0b9e79d2">Re: Bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's fine for your FMIL to throw you a shower.  Sounds like your grandma is a bit bitter.  What's her deal?  That's not nice of her to say you don't have many friends.  She can decline, or just dont send her an invite.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

ditto all of this.  G-ma seems a bit angry for no apparent reason.  It's aboslutely fine for family to throw a shower.  In the most traditional sense it's not proper etiquette for the MOB to throw it; since the bride would usually be coming right out of her home, but these days it's not at all uncommon.  And it's <strong>very</strong> typical in my experience for a sister or aunt or other relative to host so to cast the line that NO family can throw it is just ridiculous.

Have your shower with FMIL.  invite your family if you want, but if you think they'd be put off by it then don't bother and have a lovely time with your FILs

MrsH86

If your FMIL would like to throw you a shower, I think that would be great! It will be a great way to mingle with friends and family! Take her up on this! Grandma's are old school sometimes and they just dont understand... so dont let her rain on your shower