Help with a couple things PLEASE!

JenniM95

First, we are getting married at the court house with our Mom's there and some family  and some close friends (keep in mind all family memebers will know about the court house wedding come turkey day) do we put the date of  our actual wedding on the reception invites.  The wedding date is on Thursday and the reception is on Saturay.  Also do we put the registry cards in with the invites and response cards?  Are just do away with he registry?  Third, does anyone have any good ideas for reception center pieces? 

WildRumpus

Just trying to get things clear-you're having a court house wedding and then a large reception the following Saturday? How many people are you planning to invite to the reception?

ehathewa

Put the date of the reception on the reception invitations.  Do not say it is a wedding, say it is a wedding reception. 

Do not put any information about your registry on/in your invites.  You can put that information on a web-stie if you have one, or let it spread by word of mouth. 

Most people have floral centerpieces.  I got vases at a discount shop and got the flowers from fiftyflowers.com.  They were pretty and cost effective. 

tidetravel

ETA:  nevermind.  I misquoted.  YOUR quote was this one:

Just keep this in mind - IT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY DO IT THE WAY YOU WANT!!!

Obviously, you're not going to care what we say. 

sarah0725

Why are you getting married on Thursday and having a reception two days later?

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:2e3f50d8-3ac5-4ec4-a378-8f245d52e581">Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]First, we are getting married at the court house with our Mom's there and some family  and some close friends <strong>(keep in mind all family memebers will know about the court house wedding come turkey day)</strong> do we put the date of  our actual wedding on the reception invites.  The wedding date is on Thursday and the reception is on Saturay.  Also do we put the registry cards in with the invites and response cards?  Are just do away with he registry?  Third, does anyone have any good ideas for reception center pieces? 
Posted by JenniM95[/QUOTE]

The bolded part does not make what you are doing any better, just sayin'.

danieliza1127

The invitation would just be for the reception.  You could put something small at the bottom that says you were married in a private ceremony on xyz date.

I'm not sure why people are freaking.  People do this all the time, it's basically like she's eloping and then having an at-home reception.  I'm not offended by this.

Don't put any registry information in the invitations.  If people want to know, they will ask.

georgia_bride09

I guess this is NEXT Thanksgiving? Or do you just mean everyone will find out you're getting married THIS Thanksgiving, but the actual court date is a random Thursday.

I'm confused.

waltzingmatilda13

I don't see it as an elopement and AHR. If she's having the ceremony where all her relatives COULD attend, she just isn't inviting them, then I have problem with that. DWs are different because not everyone is able to make a long trip to the ceremony, especially where flights and expensive hotel stays are required.

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:a7b8d252-b4ae-441c-97de-327239656b7e">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]The invitation would just be for the reception.  You could put something small at the bottom that says you were married in a private ceremony on xyz date. I'm not sure why people are freaking.  People do this all the time, it's basically like she's eloping and then having an at-home reception.  I'm not offended by this. Don't put any registry information in the invitations.  If people want to know, they will ask.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I'm not freaking necessarily, just confused. Given that one could have a wedding ceremony for free by making a minister via the Universal Life Church, and could then make it incredibly simple because "Do you?" "Yeah." "Do you?" "Yeah." "I now pronounce you husband and wife" is a legal ceremony, I don't really get why one would go to the trouble of having a courthouse wedding one day, and then a reception on a different day with more people.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:615dfc2c-442a-4d09-ad18-11aa87b37a96">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see it as an elopement and AHR. <strong>If she's having the ceremony where all her relatives COULD attend, she just isn't inviting them, then I have problem with that.</strong> DWs are different because not everyone is able to make a long trip to the ceremony, especially where flights and expensive hotel stays are required.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

You have a problem with someone choosing to have a private ceremony and not invite all of their family? 

opalsky007

I'm not so sure why people are spazzing either, at least without a follow-up from OP. What are your reasons for wanting to do this? Is it because you want to have the reception on a weekend, but that the courthouse won't do weddings on the weekend or something?

If that's not the case, I'd suggest you invite everyone to the ceremony and reception on the same day--I like to go to ceremonies, and since a reception to thank your guests for coming to the ceremony, it's a little out of place if they weren't at the ceremony. It's not rude to have a family-only ceremony, but some people are sure to be disappointed.

In any case, if you choose to go this route, invite people to a reception in celebration of your marriage. Do not include registry cards or any info about gifts at all.

tidetravel

To me, it's OP's attitude in response to another poster, about "It's your day, do what you want."  That just doesn't scream mature to me, therefore, I make the assumption that whatever she's doing is probably rude.  If she's having a truly private ceremony and larger reception, then I think that's fine, but according to her other post (where she said she's inviting the moms and "anyone else that wants to come) that doesn't seem to be entirely the case.  Maybe I'm just confused. 

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:225e15d5-189c-43f5-b92e-6c3c9bf6ae3e">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]To me, it's OP's attitude in response to another poster, about "It's your day, do what you want."  That just doesn't scream mature to me, therefore, I make the assumption that whatever she's doing is probably rude.  If she's having a truly private ceremony and larger reception, then I think that's fine, but according to her other post (where she said she's inviting the moms and "anyone else that wants to come) that doesn't seem to be entirely the case.  Maybe I'm just confused. 
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Oh I didn't see her other post.

pinkpinot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:2e3f50d8-3ac5-4ec4-a378-8f245d52e581">Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]First, we are getting married at the court house with our Mom's there and some family  and some close friends (keep in mind all family memebers will know about the court house wedding come turkey day) do we put the date of  our actual wedding on the reception invites.  The wedding date is on Thursday and the reception is on Saturay.  Also do we put the registry cards in with the invites and response cards?  Are just do away with he registry?  <strong>Third, does anyone have any good ideas for reception center pieces? 
</strong>Posted by JenniM95[/QUOTE]

Booze.  You can never go wrong with a bottle on the table.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:064ee942-c1b8-488a-94a2-754079e8dfef">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]Busy- do you have a link to her other post? I am not good at finding other peoples posts!! I need a knot tutororial!!
Posted by cm42878[/QUOTE]

Click on the magnifying glass under her post. The icon to the left of "Private Message".

cm42878

Oh goodness! Yep, I am glad I know this helpful information now!! Now I will be able to find more infor before responding to posts!! Thank you for you help!!

cm42878

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:d8dcf052-c5b4-4564-a5bf-617296650658">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE! : IMO - it's still rude.  <strong>You should invite everyone to the Thurs. ceremony and allow them to decide if they want to come or not.  Chances are, many won't, but they should still be given the opportunity to decide for themselves.  </strong>Of course, that's my opinion about DWs too.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Yep this exactly!!! You never know people might take the afternoon or day off for the wedding. It is your wedding, its not like you are akding them to take the day off to watch you paint your toe nails, you are getting married. If It was my friend or family memeber I wouldnt be against taking the day off to be able to see them get married. However if I wasnt even invited to the wedding but knew a lot of other people had been I probably wouldnt come to the reception. You can go to vistaprint and get very resonably priced invitations and just send them to everyone. You said you want your moms and everyone else that wants to come.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-things-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7eb74b55-915a-4f23-939c-b9387c8cf20cPost:987b69d4-0e82-4986-9e88-91beeb793d6b">Re: Help with a couple things PLEASE!</a>:
[QUOTE]We both don't  want a big cermony we want something small with our mom's there  and any other family that can make it and the same with our friends.  We just want it quick and easy and then celebrate when we know people can come. 
Posted by JenniM95[/QUOTE]

Well when you choose to have a small ceremony like this you have to deal with the consequences. And I don't understand why you want a small ceremony when it sounds like you're going to have a big reception. What's the difference?

JenniM95

Thank you again,  this is what I needed some good advice not people telling me that I am RUDE or I am not mature.  Who says your way of getting married or even mine is the right way to do things.  Who are we to judge?  I thought people got on here to get some advice or help.  But I really do mean it when I say Thank You for your comments CM and TideTravel.  

AbbyAlex

I agree. I'm getting married the last week in june in virginia with just our parents and siblings. But having a big party like reception in july. We wanted to elope and the family didn't want us too so this was our compromise. I want my wedding to be intimate and special not a show for 300 people ( the number that will be at the reception).

This is the wording for our invitations.
On Sunday, June 26, 2011We slipped a ring on eachOther's finger

And made a promise for life

Join us as we celebrate

Now that we're Husband and Wife!

 You are invited to attend a Reception to honor thenewly married,Abby Sue and Matthew Alexander PayneGermania Park Pavillion 3529 W.Kemper Roadon Saturday, July 23, 2011from 6:00 p.m. - Midnight

DramaGeek

Abby, you may want to delete your names and event location.  You don't have to be a registered user of the boards to read and there are some crazy people out there.  Events have been canceled, things have gone wrong because people have posted too much info on the internets.  Just sayin'.

Loopyseven

Abby

If those are your real names and dates you probably should change them.  I've heard of people's weddings getting cancelled on them by internet crazies when they posted too much information online.

MyNameIsNot

Are you talking about inviting everyone to the Thursday ceremony?  If so, I also don't see how that's rude.  Maybe a little off to have it on a different day, but if you are inviting everyone, it's ok.  If you aren't inviting everyone, I can see how that would be rude, although I'd be ok with a private ceremony, with only you and your parents/siblings.  If you start inviting some friends and are spreading it by word of mouth, that's rude.  

Just do the invitation to the reception and enclose a card saying "you are invited to witness the marriage of X and Y on blah blah..."  It will tip people off that it's a different event on a different day.

Of course registry information should never be mailed out.  That's rude.  

I think it's your lack of grammar that makes people think you are immature.  eg: alot is not a word, mom's means something that belongs to mom, not two people, etc.  

JenniM95

Thank You Abby !  It sounds very nice.  Just like what we want.  Most of our families lives one to three hours away.  We just don't want to have a huge show, we would rather spend our money (we are paying for it - not our parents) on having a very nice celebration.  I wish you all the best.