Do I get a plus one?

ShadowCutter

a friend from high school days is now a Facebook friend; she's having a private wedding ceremony this month and then a reception next month. She invited a lot of fb friends including me to the reception, but the invitation I received doesn't mention my fiancé specifically or a plus one at all, and it doesn't mention RSVP. Since any of my fb friends can see I'm engaged, and since apparently they want people to come without RSVP, should I assume my DF can be my plus one? Or should I ask the friend?

bmoruzzi

That's kind of bizarre that you don't have to RSVP.  I would still ask.  I wouldn't assume even though he should be invited.  

Meg1036

You and your FI are a social unit; he should be invited with you.  I would ask. 

If he is not invited, I would not be attending, especially since it sounds like you are no longer close with the bride.

Mrs.B6302007

I probably would decline regardless of the social unit issue. You lost touch and are now just friends on FB.

ShadowCutter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:f40a7bce-d2ce-478e-b7f9-5169bba92a38">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]You and your FI are a social unit; he should be invited with you.  I would ask.  If he is not invited, I would not be attending, especially since it sounds like you are no longer close with the bride.
Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]



That's what I was thinking.

ShadowCutter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:3ab0af10-bd00-49a4-8f81-a4b368d4e78c">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]I probably would decline regardless of the social unit issue. You lost touch and are now just friends on FB.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]



Well in that case I wouldn't have given her my address for the invitation, but I did.

Birdie1483

Was this a paper invitation or a FB message?

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:f62fce4b-3cd2-489b-9b19-c00a116f5c5d">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I get a plus one? : Well in that case I wouldn't have given her my address for the invitation, but I did.
Posted by ShadowCutter[/QUOTE]


Oh, I totally misread it. (that's what I get for knotting on the phone in the car in the dark lol) I thought she invited you via FB.  Now that I'm home, I can read better. =-)

I'll ditto the other poster about feeling close enough to ask and if the bride says it was only for you, then  you can decline.  Most likely, she didn't know the correct way to address the invitation.

NOLAbridealmost

You should have gotten a plus one, but sometimes people botch their etiquette in a big way. We hear on TK a lot of "If I've never met so-and-so's FI then they won't be invited."  It's hella rude, but there are people out there who disregard the etiquette. 

I'd just decline.  If she were a really close friend I'd consider asking if you could bring FI, but it just doesn't seem worth it in this case.

ShadowCutter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:9a28ce20-afa2-4143-b94a-858e65953aca">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]Was this a paper invitation or a FB message?
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]



First a fb invite asking for addresses, then a paper invite.

ShadowCutter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:8c15a71e-687d-480b-bcaa-1d8c65c7efc7">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I get a plus one? : Oh, I totally misread it. (that's what I get for knotting on the phone in the car in the dark lol) I thought she invited you via FB.  Now that I'm home, I can read better. =-) I'll ditto the other poster about feeling close enough to ask and if the bride says it was only for you, then  you can decline.  Most likely, she didn't know the correct way to address the invitation.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]



Ok that sounds good. I think I feel fine about asking since I also want to ask about RSVP; it'll sound fine with both questions together, right?

NOLAbridealmost

Sure, go ahead and ask. She was technically rude first so I don't think it's a big faux pas to ask.  She might have honestly been clueless and if that's the case she'd feel like shiit if she found out you didn't think FI was invited.  And if she did it on purpose and feels awkward when you ask her...well, she had it coming.

Avion22

It's not rude to ask if your fiance is invited.  He should be, but since it's not clear, then go ahead and ask.

rebarobert2012

If you really want to attend, you can ask if your fiance is invited.  You are a social unit, and she was rude not to include him in the invitation.  It is possible she is just really clueless.

Personally, I would be really annoyed if my fiance were not invited, and I would just decline to attend, but you can definitely ask her if you want to attend.

ast.meghan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-one-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:801302b2-1a9c-4879-8903-0a23097697f8Post:3ab0af10-bd00-49a4-8f81-a4b368d4e78c">Re: Do I get a plus one?</a>:
[QUOTE]I probably would decline regardless of the social unit issue. You lost touch and are now just friends on FB.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree.  FB wedding invites are kind of tacky in my opinion anyway.</div>

ShadowCutter

The Facebook thing was just to get people's addresses so she could mail the invites for the reception.

ShadowCutter

Ok I messaged her and she said no RSVP and yes to plus one. So no worries there. Thanks all!