Cash Bar vs No Bar

ndepaolo

I should have done this the 1st time to make it easier . . .

baystateapple

What?  Just look down and read the responses.  You got plenty of input the first time around.  It's not like you were ignored or flamed.

emilyinchile

Haha, you mean you didn't like how we got sidetracked into talking about South American drinks?

Also, it would be nice if you could answer the questions people posed in your other thread (like are you and your FI already helping with wedding costs, can you host wine and/or beer, are you going to host soda).

eastunder1

I would rather go to a wedding with a cash bar then a dry wedding.  But that doesn't mean Im not going to judge the hell out of you for making people pay for their own drinks. 

salt78

Blue Moon.

danieliza1127

I voted cash bar, as long as you're aware that even with a cash bar, soda and tea and water must be free to the guests.

marinabreeze

I had mentioned that I come on the side of no bar rather than cash bar on your other thread.  And I agree with emilyinchile...it would be helpful if you came back to the original thread and answered PPs' questions concerning alternatives to cash bar v. no bar.

DramaGeek

You have to host something.  We went dry for a variety of reasons and even the drinkers in our family stayed at the whole reception and had a good time.  We got married in Dec (8 years ago today!) and hosted hot apple cider, sparkling cider, a lemon-peach non-alchoholic cocktail, iced tea, hot tea, coffee and water.  No one went thursday and it was all yummy stuff.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Sorry, I can't do it. To me, cash bar vs. no bar is like the Sophie's choice of weddings.


Unless it's for religious or personal reasons, in which case you wouldn't be considering a cash bar.

wrdgirl

As much as what some people say about cash bars on here, it's quite popular.  Remember, this group here is only a small group of people getting married/got married and they may all agree or disagree on the same thing.

If it's ok within your social group and if it's ok with you then I don't see why not. 

Make a decision based on what you think is right not "What the people on TheKnot.com tells me".  TK is helpful for information and sometimes opinions but in the end it's your choice.

Good luck!

PS. Personally I'd do limited alcoholic drinks by consumption only because my wedding is during the day where I hope people are less likely to get hammered lol I actually originally opted for dry but then after much thought maybe doing by consumption with limited selection won't be so bad instead of a full-out open bar.  But then that's MY decision, just hope my decision can help you make yours.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:2117745e-0c25-45ef-b598-53f8f7916a65">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Make a decision based on what you think is right not "What the people on TheKnot.com tells me".  
Posted by wrdgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>Every single time you post, I wonder why the hell you are even here. Every. Single. Time.</div>

Beachy730

KJB I just said on another board that if I'm ever at a wedding with a limited bar or a cash bar I'm going to purposely get hammered after now seeing all these ridiculous reasons for why they do it.

kellyjellybelly

that's cause you're my long-lost sister.

Summer2011Bride

We're doing beer and wine (plus obviously soft drinks, etc.). I don't see anything wrong with doing this (and if people DO want hard liquor, they can pay for it). Hosting for your guests and not requiring them to pay for anything DOES NOT mean to me that I should be expected to pay for them drinking hard liquor all night. I think a limited open bar still gives plenty of options for drinkers and no one has to pay a cent unless they really want that screwdriver! To me, this is better than having no bar at all. I guess I just don't understand why people frown on limited open bars.

lindsay5432

I'm having a cash bar.  There is no way I can afford booze for that many people and still go on a honeymoon. 

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:0fe62e44-f8f4-4d1c-97b2-f6f2d8e0d622">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a cash bar.  There is no way I can afford booze for that many people and still go on a honeymoon. 
Posted by lindsay5432[/QUOTE]

:headdesk:

Missa513

It would never even cross my mind to have a cash bar....much less a dry wedding.

A lot of reception packages come with open bar...but if not, it's worth the money.  IMO you can cut corners elsewhere, but booze shouldn't be one of them. 

lindsay5432

We are providing wine on the tables, that's enough imo.

Habs2Hart

lindsay - Us too... and 1/2 bottle per person.  Considering at least 1/3 of the guest list doesn't drink... it should be plenty for them. 

BUT, cash bars are common where I'm from and in my social circle. 

[Deleted User]

I think both are rude unless they're for a reason other than budget.  I went to one wedding that was a cash bar and couldn't stand it.  But it would have been a lot harder to stand without alcohol. lol.

There are a million other places I'd cut before cutting alcohol.  Our bar is only costing us $1900 for 150 people and then something like $3 or $4 a person for mixers/garnishes from our caterer.  It's $2500.  I can scrounge that up by cutting other places if I needed to.

singingjessi14

I'm having a cash bar because I'm on a tight budget, and I've never gone to a wedding that didn't have a cash bar; the most that I've ever seen provided is the champagne for the toast.

For those on a budget, this is sometimes the only option unless you want a dry wedding. A lot of people will tell you to cut your guest list or cut from other areas but as someone who has cut their guest list and isn't having a lot of unnecessary "extras," there's not much left.

I am having an afternoon wedding, so there will be a fewer number of people expecting to drink but, personally, my friends and family would rather have to pay a few bucks for a drink at my wedding instead of knowing I went over budget to buy alcohol for everyone.

cm42878

I think I have posted this before but we are having an open bar for beer and wine and a cash bar for mixed drinks. In our hotel where the reception is there is a pub just across the hallway from our ballroom. They are open on saturday nights and I figure if I just have beer and wine people will just go over there and buy their hard alcohol drinks anyway. Then they might spend more time over there than at our reception since they have TVs pool and such things. SO we will have the bar in the ballroom with beer and wine open bar and then people can do a cash for mixed drinks. We will also have water, tea, lemonade, punch and soda unlimited by the buffet line.

AmandalovesAl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:0fe62e44-f8f4-4d1c-97b2-f6f2d8e0d622">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a cash bar.  There is no way I can afford booze for that many people and still go on a honeymoon. 
Posted by lindsay5432[/QUOTE]


Yeah, why should your guests have a good time at your wedding when you want to go someplace expensive for your honeymoon?  That's real nice. I would be so ticked if I went to a wedding and I heard the bride say that.

lindsay5432

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:847a589f-f522-44ef-baa8-72025e998f25">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar : Yeah, why should your guests have a good time at your wedding when you want to go someplace expensive for your honeymoon?  That's real nice. I would be so ticked if I went to a wedding and I heard the bride say that.
Posted by AmandalovesAl[/QUOTE]

I would certainly hope people are able to have a good time without unlimited alcohol!

It's just the truth, though, really, I need to stay on a budget.  I am not going "someplace expensive" for a honeymoon; I'm not sure where you got that idea?  Is it common for people to spend all of their money and then some on the wedding, and not even be able to afford a honeymoon after? 

It's all very nice for those of you who are willing and able to "scrounge up another $2500 or so" to pay for everyone's drinks.  I'm sure all of your guests will be very impressed.

kellyjellybelly

My guests loved our open bar.  They were very impressed.  And we went on our honeymoon 6 months later so we could afford to do both.  

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:a95191fd-4b1e-40e6-add6-8a25071c4e58">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]My guests loved our open bar.  They were very impressed.  And we went on our honeymoon 6 months later so we could afford to do both.  
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
word.  Its called thinking ahead. 

stephasuasu

If the only option is cash bar or no bar, then I vote no bar because then maybe you could skirt by by making up some excuse that you want a dry wedding for religious reasons or some BS like that. I would be too embarrassed to have my close friends and family to my wedding and then surprise them with a cash bar! 

If you have not made plans for a venue yet, then I would search for one that is either super cheap so you can afford alcohol,  one that will let you bring your own in, or offer beer and wine....You wouldn't ask your guests to pay for their food, so why have them pay for their drinks? They are one in the same. 

lindsay5432

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:52861f9d-7d41-41d0-9621-e244333d9581">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]If the only option is cash bar or no bar, then I vote no bar because then maybe you could skirt by by making up some excuse that you want a dry wedding for religious reasons or some BS like that. <strong>I would be too embarrassed to have my close friends and family to my wedding and then surprise them with a cash bar!</strong>  If you have not made plans for a venue yet, then I would search for one that is either super cheap so you can afford alcohol,  one that will let you bring your own in, or offer beer and wine....You wouldn't ask your guests to pay for their food, so why have them pay for their drinks? They are one in the same. 
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

I agree it should not be a surprise -- that information should be included with the invitation.

I have also been to weddings where everyone is given 2 drink "tickets" when they come in, so you can have 2 drinks paid for and after that you are paying.   That's more than reasonable if they are also getting served wine at the tables.

I have never been very interested in "keeping up with the Jones'" or doing things to impress people, so I will continue to focus on keeping the budget under control.

Maybe this really is a culture difference, because I have only been to one or two weddings with an open bar.  Maybe it's less common in Canada, where alcohol is really, REALLY expensive?

emilyinchile

Lindsay, I've gotten the impression on here that in Canada cash bars are more common, so you may be right there.

But I take issue with your insinuation that wanting to provide your guests with all food and drink free of charge is about appearances or "keeping up with the Joneses." It's not at all. It's about being good hosts and actually hosting - which means paying for - your entire event. NO ONE has ever said that any wedding must have a full open bar with hard alcohol. The only argument is that whatever you serve - no alcohol, only beer and wine, top shelf premium everything, whatever - should be free to your guests because they are guests.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-vs-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:807849b5-5ac5-4d3e-b947-f430d2963573Post:83154df5-d4c2-4501-a279-38f8972e0bf5">Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash Bar vs No Bar : I would certainly hope people are able to have a good time without unlimited alcohol! It's just the truth, though, really, I need to stay on a budget.  I am not going "someplace expensive" for a honeymoon; I'm not sure where you got that idea?  Is it common for people to spend all of their money and then some on the wedding, and not even be able to afford a honeymoon after?  I<strong>t's all very nice for those of you who are willing and able to "scrounge up another $2500 or so" to pay for everyone's drinks.  I'm sure all of your guests will be very impressed.</strong>
Posted by lindsay5432[/QUOTE]


It might be a culturaly thing.  Our guests were not impressed we had an open bar.  Open bars is the way we  all host events.  Weddings, birthday parties, BBQ, heck even funerals have open bars.   Sometimes these events are just at someone's home, but a bar is always there.    Point is in our circle food and bar go hand and hand.  We are not trying to impress anyone with an open bar anymore than we try and impress them with food and a DJ.

Habs2Hart

Alcohol is expensive in Canada.  I'm from a tourist area in Ontario and EVERYTHING is expensive.  A friend of mine had an open bar (the only one I've been too) and the groom's dad payed because he likes to party and host boozy partys.  She told me what their tab was (for about 150ppl) and I almost passed out.  She said there was NO WAY if her in laws hadn't offered to pay for it that she could afford an open bar.  

Wine at ours alone for the table is over $2000.  And that's not a crap bottle, but not a nice one either, just a decent bottle of white and red.  So... hosting open bar on top of that would get really really expensive.