Hello all!
I asked my FSIL to be a BM when I got engaged in October. We never talked much other then when we came over to visit with FMIL, but I still wanted to have her as a BM, I figured we would grow a little bit closer and thinks would work out fine. It is now a month from the wedding and I'm beging to greatly regret my descion, and am at a loss on what to do. A few months ago I told my BM's what dress they needed, we were just going to have each pick out a black knee lenth dress instead or odering simaler ones due to peoples budgets. I then found a certain dress that would have everyones size and be in there budgets a few weeks later and sent out an e-mail asking BM's if they would rather do that, I was fine with either way. The rest of my BM's said whatever I wanted was fine, except for FSIL who told me I was being too picky and needed to make up my mind. I ignored this and just moved on and decided to stick with the orginal plan.
Through out the wedding planning I have also sent a few emails out asking my BM'S opionions on there flowers, and a few other things, also saying if any wanted to help me put together bouquets, put together invites, or anything I would love the help. A few weeks after this, I get word from FMIL and FI that FSIL is complainging how I never involve her in the wedding planning. I'm not the type of person to assume everyone else is as excited about the wedding planning as I am, or expect them to help. I had mentioned in the e-mail, along as a few times in person that if she did want to help or give me her opionons to call, text, or e-mail. I was irritated that she was complainging I didn't want her help, and that she was not doing so directly to me. Again, I ignored it an moved on.
A few days ago I sent her a text asking if she would want to come to the bachorlette party, I needed a general head count and she travels alot so I wanted to let her know the date and see if she might be able to make it. She responds asking "Who is this?" which irritated me because I have texted her and called her multiple time's and she always asks me this, I would think she would save my number after two years? I respond "The girl who is marrying your brother :P" and she responds " Oh, I didn't know that was still on" At this point, I am pissed off, I told her yes, it is still on, I don't know why she would think other wise. She tell's me I never involve her in anything and never invite her to anything. I invited her to bridal shower, and now am trying to invite her to bachorlette party. There have been no other events I would have invited her too, and am not close enough with her to just ask her to go to movies or such. She has never made the effort to say "Hi" to me. I have always taken it as her personality (my FI even told me straight up she is known to be a b!tch and to not take it personally). I tried to explain this all to her, and she responded by saying she was not texting about this and step up and actually call her. I was beyond angry at the momenent, and knew I would probally say something I would regret if I called her.
I let it cool for the day, and then called her and was forwarded to her voicemail the next day where I left her a message saying "Hey, I just wanted to let you know the bachorletter party is going to be at ___ on ___, Hope to see you there, also, please let me know if you have found a dress yet, There are a bunch of cute ones on sale at Torrid and Jcpenny's if you havent, thanks!". Few days later, no response. Yesterday, I e-mailed all of my BM's letting them know of dates and places for the rehearsel dinner, a strip to the nail salon if anyone wanted to join, the bachorlette party details, and what we were doing the day of (where we were meeting, etc.) Its been just a day, but no response yet. I really don't know what to do with FSIL. FI asked her if she was still in the WP because she wasnt responding to me at all and she said "What do you think, why would you even ask me that?" and my FI told her he took that as a yes. He is upset with her for treating me like this, and has told me whatever I want to do with the situation is fine by him.
I really don't want to 'kick her out' of the WP, I think it would be rude, but I must say its on my mind alot now. I am stressing out over if shes even showing up, has a dress, etc. I really don't want someone in my WP that doesnt want to be there. I talked to FMIL and she said to try my best to ignore FSIL, and that shes in a dark place in her life and taking it out on everyone else. I have a feeling my only true option is to suck it up and cross my fingers she shows up at the wedding ready to walk down the asile. Do y'all have any advice on what to do? Or should I stick with the plan and attempt to ignore her? I love everyones advice on here and know you will tell me straight :P Thank you all!!
