Wedding Etiquette Forum

Showers and Bachelorettes... somewhat new to this.. lol

So I'm hearing a lot about couples showers VS bridal showers... is there any difference other than my fiance gets to be present at a couple's shower? I like the idea of having a bridal shower cuz then things can be pink and girly and my friends can get me lingerie (which should be a surprise to him on the honeymoon anyway! lol), but is there a huge difference between the two? I think he's under the impression that bridal shower gifts are for me only and couple's shower gifts are for the two of us.

Next question.. I really really really want to go to a spa as part of my bachelorette party. (I'm saying this now as if my wedding is in three weeks, haha.) I know not all of my bridesmaids, friends would be able to afford or even want to go to the spa with me, so I wouldn't want to push that on anyone to do. Now, I know the bridal/couples shower gets put on for me, but what about the bachelorette party? Is this something that I get involved in? I don't care what's traditionally done cuz I think this is a tradition that can be bypassed. But would it be frowned upon if I were to say that I wanted to go to this spa and then later at night after the spa, we could all go out wherever and have the actual bachelorette party? Whoever wanted to go to the spa with me could.. I mean, I wouldn't go unless a few other girls went with me.

Re: Showers and Bachelorettes... somewhat new to this.. lol

  • A bridal shower and couples shower are often essentially the same in terms of gifts; only the guest list differs, as "couples" showers aren't women - only. I have been to plenty of bridal showers that did not involve lingerie! Sometimes they do have a theme, though.

    Like your shower, you don't get involved with your bachelorette party. If you want to go to the spa, plan a spa day, but don't make it about your bachelorette.
    image
  • Thanks for the info. I know I can trust my friends to not take me to a strip club, so I think leaving the bachelorette party up to them is fine by me. I'll plan the spa day by myself. thanks!
  • Mostly what I've seen is a wedding shower is typically for women and is household items. A bridal shower is for the bride, women only, and gifts tend to be personal like lingerie.  A couples shower would, obviously, be both sexes and gifts would tend to be household in nature.
  • I agree, just say to your girls that you would love to have a spa day with them and plan it just as an outing with friends not as a bachelorette party.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Would it be awkward if I offered to pay for part of the services for whoever wanted to join me? Cuz I don't want to thrust a huge expense on anyone just because I want to go, but I'm not too sure I would want to pay for everything, either.
  • My bridesmaids are awesome and are planning a shower for me this Saturday. Just like you, I love the spa. So as a thank you for the shower, I got them gift certificates to the spa. Hopefully we can all go at the same time and make an afternoon of it! That is an easy way to off to pay and it not be awkward.
  • LuluP82LuluP82 member
    500 Comments
    I've been to wedding showers and also lingerie showers, which in my circles tend to happen during the bachelorette party. So, there's a shower for registry gifts where it's either women only or couples; and then I've also been to several bachelorettes that included a lingerie shower.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards