Hi again! Opinions on corsages/bouts, please

Knittibell

Hi there! I was on a while back, but now that I'm about 4 months out, I could use some advice, and will likely be peppering the boards a bit.

One thing I'm unsure of is this-
the men in the wedding have decided they'd like a pocket square, instead of a boutonniere. Which I'm completely fine with. They'll be wearing traditional tuxedos, with a black tie and a red pocket square. My fi will have a gardenia bout, and he'll be the only one with a bout, which should make him stand out a little bit.

The mothers are getting corsages. The question then is, do I do bouts/corsages for other members of the wedding party, not in a tux. Florist says it's not necessary, but I'm not so sure. Specifically I'm thinking my Uncle & fi's aunt who will be doing a reading, our videographers- who are dear friends and professionals and doing the video as our wedding gift, my brother in law, who is our witness, our friend performing the ceremony...

I feel like it would be nice to have these people stand out as a part of the bridal party, but the florist telling me it's not necessary is now making me wonder if it is? Thoughts, please?

Thanks!
Annie

Legu

I don't believe it's necessary, but it is a lovely thought. I'd go for it, if that's what you want to do. Seems like a nice way to highlight that they are also important to you.

Knittibell

They're not vendors, though. They're good friends who live overseas in the UK, and happen to be vidrographers. They get around 10K per wedding these days, and they're doing our video as our wedding gift. The idea of giving them a corsage and bout was to make it very clear they're NOT vendors. Does that make sense? We have vendors, I just don't want any staff accidentally treating them as vendors (bar, for instance).

Hmmm. Thinking I should go with my gut and do the flowers- I'll have the florist keep them very simple...

artbyallie

I like your idea. I gave flowers to all our aunts and uncles in addition to the parents/grandparents/wedding party since about half of them were involved in the wedding in some way already and I didn't like leaving anyone out.

JaxInBlue

I think your idea is very nice.  Bouts/corsages are a small gesture to recognize VIPs and I think it's better to air on the side of more recognition than less.  We had parents, grandparents, readers, officiant, anyone with a role in the ceremony.

MyUserName1

I think that you can never do TOO much for people, you know? I'd always err on the side of giving too many people flowers than have someone's feelers get hurt. 

Carrie81677

As others have said, it's definitely not necessary, but there's nothing wrong with it, either.  Aside from WP flowers, my parents, H's parents and stepdad, H's grandpa, my two great-aunts, and both our godmothers were given corsages/bouts.  They all seemed pleased with it.

The only thing I don't quite get is the connection between the pocket squares and bouts?  The GM's tuxes came with coordinating pocket squares, and they all wore flowers on their lapels.  It's fine if they don't want to do the flowers, but the statement confused me a little.

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hi-again-opinions-on-corsagesbouts-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:84997a04-8594-4bc2-adb8-f2cb45dbf292Post:6ea4b3e7-0a3c-48c9-aa24-4d4b883f3467">Re: Hi again! Opinions on corsages/bouts, please</a>:
[QUOTE]As others have said, it's definitely not necessary, but there's nothing wrong with it, either.  Aside from WP flowers, my parents, H's parents and stepdad, H's grandpa, my two great-aunts, and both our godmothers were given corsages/bouts.  They all seemed pleased with it. The only thing I don't quite get is the connection between the pocket squares and bouts? <strong> The GM's tuxes came with coordinating pocket squares, and they all wore flowers on their lapels.  It's fine if they don't want to do the flowers, but the statement confused me a little.</strong>
Posted by Carrie81677[/QUOTE]

Many people feel strongly that you should wear one or another.

I think as long as they're both subtle, you can wear both.  If you image search people like JFK, Fred Astaire, Bogey you'll see all of them frequently wore both and if it's good enough for JFK, it's good enough for my H.

Carrie81677

Well, I learned something new today!  I had never heard the either/or.  I'm hoping to not ever need the info again, but I shall file it away just in case.

LemonMeringue

My husband is a professional photographer and has done photos as a gift. He's wasn't given a flower and it wasn't expected. It's something he volunteered for, not something he was asked to do as an honor. A flower wouldn't stay in place anyhow, he runs around so much. 

You probably will do this anyhow, but a nice gift (like a restaurant gift card) would be appreciated.

Knittibell

That's it- usually it's one or the other, but because there are plenty of men in the past (sinatra, Kennedy), who wore both, we decided my Fi will have a single gardenia on his lapel, which will make him stand out a little bit.

I'm thinking just a small, simple corsage or bout, and since I'm not buying 10 bouts for the groomsmen and dads, I think the budget will take the 6 for the people who are doing something to be part of the day.

I feel better now- the florist/designer  had me thinking that no one does this, and it'd be odd to do it, but I think I'm going to stick with my original plan.

Thanks, ladies!