Older children at wedding

harper0813

Yes, that's right - I'm asking about older children!

We already know that we're inviting the infants of out-of-town relatives who would not be able to attend if we did not invite their children. However, there are some relatives who live around an hour away from our venue who have children in their teens that we would prefer not to invite, because they're cousins' children. I have an absolutely massive extended family - I'm talking almost a hundred people - and I need to limit the number of family members I invite or it will be terribly imbalanced between my side and my fiance's side. Is there a proper way and time to communicate to my extended family members (my parents will be glad to help, too) that, unfortunately, we can't include their teenage children (who I don't know terribly well)? But that we're inviting out-of-town infants (and friends' kids)?

mcda04

I don't think there's a proper way of doing this. You can't note "adult only reception" because you'll have kids and infants. and noting "if your child is a teenager cannot come or is not invited" is rude so good luck.

jessicabessica

Just address the invitations to those that are invited.  You may get people who push back (we had one distant relative ask if her "young adults" could attend--the answer was no because we were so distant, not because we were having an adults only wedding), but you can explain to them that the invitation was only for the parents.  While generally you should try to invite in circles to avoid hurt feelings, I think that inviting only infants from one circle will be ok, although I'd be careful about splitting up families.  

ETA: You never say "adult only" reception, as PP suggested.  It's rude to point out who is not invited.  

LeiselEB

It's fine to invite some kids and not all, though you do run the risk of people being upset if their child isn't invited. 

Do not use "Adults only" anywhere. All you need to do is address the envelope to exactly who you want to invite. If people RSVP and include their kids in that number, you'll have to call them and explain that the invitation was only meant for X and Y.

mcda04

Actually, i retract from my PP. If only your immediate family is bringing children, then yes you have the right to not invite teens. how you go about it? use Leisel's advice. G.L.