Wedding Etiquette Forum

PLEASE tell me if I have completely lost my mind...LOOONG

I am in the process of looking for a make-up artist.  My 1st trial was AWFUL!  2nd trial (with a different make-up artist) went much better.  It lasted longer than I had anticipated, and my fiance and I were in a little bit of a rush (we were going to visit a grandparent in the hospital).  The trial took about 2 1/2 hours.  That being said, I thought she did a good job, but my mind was elsewhere (so I didn't press for specific pricing, just asked for her to give me a high-end estimate for make-up, including lashes for everyone in the wedding party) and I asked that she simply put the contract in the mail to me, I would read it over and get back to her.  This all took place this past Saturday. 

She emailed me photos from the trial on Sunday, followed up with a phone call asking for me to confirm that I did indeed receive the photos-and that I could let her know by calling her or emailing her (I thought this was strange, but whatever).  In the interim we lost Grandma, and my good friends brother was in a car accident and killed.  Needless to say my weekend was not pleasant.

I received ANOTHER call from this make-up artist on Monday, wondering if I had received the photos (again) and asking whether or not she should mail the contract, (I thought this was strange, since I thought that we agreed for her to put the contract in the mail on Monday) and to give her a call.

So Tuesday rolls around, and needless to say, I am slightly overwhelmed trying to attend 2 wakes in 2 different states!  Because of work responsibilities I finally manage to sit tuesday night (actually 2am wednesday morning) and go thru my emails and this was the email I received from her...

 
Hi Bea,
I have called you twice now and have not recieved a response back.
As July and August are the two busiest months of the wedding season I am very busy right now and dont have time to chase after anyone.
I would please need to know if you are indeed serious about booking me for your October date.
If so I need to get your contract in the mail as I cant hold your date without a signed contract and deposit. I however, need to have some info first in order to mail the contract to you.
I would apprecaite a response. A simple,  Im no longer interested would suffice.
If you still are interested, that is wonderful, but I am a business woman and need to have contact with my clients to provide them the best possible service.
Im sure you can understand my position.
Thank you for your time
~Deirdre


Maybe I'm just a little sensitive right now, but I was LIVID after reading the email.  My response was short + to the point, believe me I could have included a lot of other thoughts on why I think she's NUTS, but I didn't.  My response...


Deirdre,
My apologies for not getting back to you sooner.  However, I had a death in the family over the weekend, and unfortunately have been indispose.  I'm sorry if you feel like you are 'chasing' me, but last we spoke I thought we left off with having you put a contract in the mail to me on Monday.  I wanted to read over the contract and know rates (as that was something we hadn't discussed in detail) before I committed to using you.  Understandably, I don't think you would agree to buy something without knowing the cost.
Also, in between attending multiple wakes, I was making every attempt to get in touch with the ladies in my bridal party so that I could get a better grasp on who would want what.  It's not easy coordinating with 8 different people hailing from 5 different states.   
Considering I was just at your studio on Saturday, I don't think a tremendous amount of time has passed since we have been in touch.  That being said, the tone of this email is not what I would consider professional.  I was indeed interested in your services, but after reading this email I am sorry to say, I am no longer interested.  I have enough going in in my life at the moment and I don't need to be scolded by anyone, let alone someone I wanted to hire.
I am not a business woman, just a simple person, and right now I have my family to worry about.  I'm sure you can understand MY position.
Respectfully,
Bea

Her response this morning...

Bea, my condolenses on your lose.
I thought it strange that I would not recieve a response back to my phone call on Sunday and thought something may be wrong.
I of course checked your Facebook page to see if you were indeed around and able to reach out to people, and when I saw you had posted something then I assumed all was ok.
The 'tone' you heard in my email is called 'experience'.
When someone does not inquire about the rates when they are at the trial...(not true...I asked for a high-end estimate, as I wasn't sure how many girls would want eyelashes, and this was suppossed to be a surprise-my wedding gift to them, so I didn't want to give it away by asking 3 months in advance if this was something that they wanted)  and one does not want to discuss, go over or sign and leave a deposit the day they come for the trial.....and when then someone does not acknowledge two phone calls......I think it is safe to say that one is still 'shopping around'. And though this is perfectly acceptable and your right to do so, I do need to know this.
While you were attending 'multiple' wakes..I recieved an email fom another bride asking about your very day.
As a professional I will not call you up and tell you this...but I do need to find out more information so I know whether to honor holding your date or not without a deposit.
You will find that no one in the wedding industry will hold your date unless they have a deposit 'in hand'and dates fill up VERY quickly Bea.
My reaching out to you on Sunday was my concern that you were indeed truly happy with the results, and to ask you something before putting the contract in the mail to you. 
Understandably, I dont think you would sign a contract without knowingall the facts. And I can no put one in the mail withough including all the facts.
But it is also my experience that people get back to you very quickly when they feel a need to 'put you in your place'. Thank you for your prompt response Bea.
I wish you and Brad a beautiful wedding.
Peace, joy and abundance to you both.      
~Deirdre


SHE CHECKED MY FACEBOOK PAGE?  Is she serious???  Yeah, I was sending responses at 2am!!! and I was 'reaching out' to my FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!  wtf???

As for going over the contract, we had ALREADY spent 2+1/2 hours there (I thought we would be there for a max of 1+1/2).  We had to go to the hospital, I was already running behind schedule, AND I hadn't even brought my checkbook with me (stupid, I know-but like I said, my mind was elsewhere).

With respect to receiveing a call from another bride, I have had PLENTY of vendors call me and say 'hey listen, just wondering if your still interested, because we have someone else interested in the same date'.  Dates do fill up quickly, I agree, but I live in one of the biggest cities in the world...make-up artists are a dime a dozen around here, and quite frankly in this economy I don't exactly see people RUNNING to drop a thousand dollars on make-up!!!  Not to mention, I met with her Saturday afternoon, it was TUESDAY!!!  Beleive it or not...I was F'ing busy!!!  It's not like 2 weeks passed, and she hadn't heard a word from me.


AM I NUTS???  Am I just feeling very sensitive right now?  PLEASE someone...put me in my place or tell me It'll be ok, and that this lady is obviously a psycho...
BabyFruit Ticker
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