Children at reception???

cmlisenk

If I choose to have a flower girl, she will be my cousin's (who will be my photographer) daughter. I'm not completely sure about a ring bearer but I'm contemplating if I should even have a flower girl just so I can avoid having children at the wedding.  If I invite children they will only be direct realtion (nieces or nephews, I want to avoid cousin's and other guest's children because that would be about 14+) Has anyone else encountered this issue?  How have you handled it?

Calypso1977

we did not want kids at our wedding or in our wedding.
some OOT folks came and had made arrnagments, others did not come because of child care, and in some instances, one parent came and the other stayed home wiht the kids.

cmlisenk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-at-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85973ded-8666-43c5-bd55-49660bd43827Post:2f85fa52-84aa-4e58-abdc-daf644e31266">Re: Children at reception???</a>:
[QUOTE]we did not want kids at our wedding or in our wedding. some OOT folks came and had made arrnagments, others did not come because of child care, and in some instances, one parent came and the other stayed home wiht the kids.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
  I've always wanted a flower girl but I don't want to have to worry about a bunch of kids running around.  I'm thinking it's just going to come down to this, thanks for sharing!

OliveOilsMom

We invited only my neice and nephews.  It's best to invite in circles or WP children only.  It sounds like you just want a FG to use as a prop.  In that case, I would decline having children in the WP and have a child free wedding.

cmlisenk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-at-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85973ded-8666-43c5-bd55-49660bd43827Post:cfc4bbc4-d437-4e49-a8ed-4b5851c9ce5c">Re: Children at reception???</a>:
[QUOTE]We invited only my neice and nephews.  It's best to invite in circles or WP children only.  It sounds like you just want a FG to use as a prop.  In that case, I would decline having children in the WP and have a child free wedding.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]
<div>Thanks for your insight, my neices are 11 and 13 but my fiance's step niece and nephew (if thats how that works) will be almost two and five.  That puts me in another pickle.  Also, a flower girl has always been a family tradition for my family and so having a flower girl as always been something important to me.</div>

Kate61487

it's okay to JUST have your FG at the wedding.  It's very common to have the only children invited be those in the WP, your other guests would understand. 

I'm a little confused by this:

[QUOTE] They live out of town so she would really have no one to watch her while my cousin and her husband are attending the wedding.  
Posted by cmlisenk[/QUOTE]

I first read it that you're not planning on inviting her to the reception - which isn't cool if she's your FG.  But then I realized maybe you were saying the only reason you'd have her as FG is b/c she wouldn't have anyone to watch her thus you want her at the wedding and no other kids?  That's kind of a crappy reason to put someone in your WP, IMO.  And it could lead to some unhappy nieces or nephews (or, more likely, siblings) who are hurt that you had a random kid you're not really close to as FG just because her parents are from OOT.

Anyway, I guess I'm just saying if you feel really close to this little girl and want her to be your FG then have at it; invite her to the reception, invite no other kids, it will be fine.  But if you don't really want her to be the FG then don't.  Her parents will figure it out (maybe her dad will stay home, maybe they'll ask a local cousin for a sitter recommendation, maybe they'll leave her home with the other grandparents or a neighbor...)

Peledreamsofrain

There were a couple of small children at my wedding, and I wanted my guests to all be as comfortable as possible, so I  hired a babysitter for the reception.

Our reception was in a hotel, so one of the parents' guests rooms was converted into an inpromptu nursery with movies, games, etc, and the babysitter watched the kids while the parents attended our reception.  The parents thanked us over and over and over for thinking about doing that, because it allowed them to fully enjoy our reception.  They said they'd never been to a wedding where the hosting couple had been so gracious to them, and they were deeply touched.

It was a small thing to do, and didn't cost much.  But it meant a lot to them and fixed a lot of planning issues.

Calypso1977

some people wont leave their child with someone they dont know, so even a well intentioned babysitting hire can backfire.

i say if you dotn want kids there, dont invite them and move on.  but you just need to be prepared for the manipulators.

Tally879

I was at a wedding recently that there was about 15 little kids and it was pretty miserable.  They were running around and kept running back and forth while they were doing all of their special dances.  I mean in that case I think it was totally rude of the parents, but I'd be hesistant to invite a ton of kids.

I had a two year old at my wedding, and she danced the whole night and was completely well behaved and fine.