Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do I get a +1 ?


I am invited to my friend's wedding.  The invitation was addressed ONLY to me, not "and guest" or anything.

But on the RSVP card, it says "Who's Coming?" and then there are four blank lines, then one line at the bottom that says "your name"  Then off to the side, there is a "Yes" and "No" box to check.  So I am not sure if I am allowed to write in "Me plus guest" or what?

The wedding is about 2 hours away from where I (and the couple) lives.  I'm assuming I won't really know most of the ppl there.  We used to work together, so I might know some ppl, but we are not like in the same big circle of friends and acquantainces.

I am not in a relationship and I am not dating anyone, although I don't think he would really know that for sure, and he didn't ask my relationship status.  But w/ the distance and not really knowing anyone, it would be nice to bring someone w/ me.

I guess I could text him and ask, but I just feel kind of pushy doing that, and I don't want to offend or whatever.


Re: Do I get a +1 ?

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    I would assume that by the way they address the invitation that you are the only invited guest.  The RSVP card is probably the same for everyone and they probably needed to accomodate families.

    Can you try to contact any of your other former co-workers to see if they are attending?  If you don't think you will know any other attendees at the wedding, I would probably decline.  But if you think your old co-workers will be there too, then I would go and hope that I am seated with them.
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    I don't think that you get one by the way the invitation was addressed, but the response card is a little too informal to know for sure.

    I think that it is perfectly appropriate to send him a text or give a quick call like "Hey x, is it just me that's invited to the wedding, or can I bring a date? I was confused by the response card.'

    By putting in that you were confused, it becomes less pushy (I think). Just reply with a thank you after they respond.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Since the invite was addressed to you and you alone then no, you do not get to bring someone.

    The RSVP card sounds a bit weird to me, but I guess I would have to see it to make heads or tails of it.  Usually on the RSVP there is a place for you to write your name and a place to mark yes or no in regards to whether or not you will attend.

    But if you are still unclear beacause of the RSVP card you can certainly call (don't text) your friend and ask.  Just make it clear that you don't feel like you are entitled to bring a guest but that you were just a bit confused by the RSVP card.  It is always better to ask then to assume.

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    I would assume that only you are invited to the wedding since only your name is on the invite.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Assuming they followed proper etiquette, just having your name on the invite means that only you are invited.
    The response card probably has four lines because they used the same response card to invites with families and such.

    Do you still keep in contact with these people? If I got an alone invite to a wedding where I had to travel and where I wouldn't know anyone, I'd just decline and send a small gift if I was close with them and a card if I was not.

    The fact that they didn't contact you to find out if you were in a relationship, makes me think that even if you were in a relationship they still would have invited you alone. That puts another tick in the "just decline" column.
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    Thanks for the helpful replies everyone!  I think that is a really good suggestion to ask him, but make it known that I was just confused by the RSVP card, NOT that I am pushing for or requesting to bring someone.  In fact, I think I'm going to copy sydaries reply exactly, haha.

    He originally texted me to tell me he was engaged, and ask for my address to send the invite, etc, so I think texting him w/ the question will be okay.

    I really WOULD like to go and celebrate w/ them, bc I really am very very happy for them.  We used to talk a lot back in the day about our dating lives, and he had gone through some pretty trying situations, so I'd love to show my support.  But yeah, a 2 hour drive both ways, on a Sunday afternoon where I wouldn't know most ppl would be.... whatever.  But I suppose I can be a bit of a loner, so maybe I'll still go.  But it would be nice to just know who's invited.

    And for those who mentioned that this was probably just the standard RSVP card, I thought that too... but just still wasn't sure his intentions.  Here's a pic, btw:

    I'll let u guys know what he says :)
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    At least those are cute cards!
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Well here was his exact response:

    "Bring a date!  Just not Matt.  Kidding!!! Bring anyone u want."

    (So Matt is another old coworker I used to date, and he's kind of a dumb-ass, so ppl make fun of me, kiddingly).

    So there it is!  This whole situation worked out quite pleasantly.  Yay!

    Thanks everyone!
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    I'm thinking that you are not invited with a guest because of how it was addressed. The RSVP card was probably designed the same for everyone. So, families that were invited with their kids would have probably needed 4 lines to write out who is coming, or those who were invited with their bf/gf or spouse had the opportunity to write their names if they were able to attend as well. I can see how that would be confusing though.

    Everyone's situation and restrictions (venue size, budget) are different - and so if you are still confused it couldn't hurt to bring it up casually to the bridge and groom just for clarification. Like other posters said, I'd reach out to former coworkers and friends to see who is going before you reply. If you are invited solo, that would make a difference in how comfortable you'd be.
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