Early wedding gift (thank you question) XP

dibsontop

Yesterday we received a wedding card with a check from one of FI extended family members.  She's unable to attend the wedding and sent the card/money with her RSVP.

Obviously, I'm going to send her a thank you card immediately.  However, do I mention the fact that we'll be holding (not cashing) the check until after the wedding in October?  Or is that understood?  Also, how would you word that?

baystateapple

I could be wrong, but I think you're supposed to cash the check ASAP, even if it's before the wedding, so that they can balance their checking account.  I would send a thank you note, and then cash it, but don't use the money until after the wedding.

But again, I could be wrong.  Anyone else?

twilight.rose

You can go ahead and cash the check now, actually.

However, it's unnecessary to put in any thank you note when you plan to cash a check.

danieliza1127

You should cash the check now and just set the money aside.  When someone gives you a check, you don't want to just leave it hanging out there, it might mess up their accounting.  Go ahead and deposit it or cash it.  Send the TY note right away.

Mrs.B6302007

How did she fill out the check?  Did she use your maiden name or your future married name?  If it's the latter, you might be able to work with your bank/CU since they know you, but there's a possibility that you can't deposit it until after the wedding.

dibsontop

Hmmm...I thought I should hold it so that it doesn't appear as though I'm cashing the check and using it to pay for the wedding.  While I know it's not being spent, the giver does not.  I don't know that I feel comfortable cashing the check before actually being married.

L-Bride

I'm wondering the same thing right now. I just received an RSVP saying they couldn't come with a check with it. I normally would send a thank you and cash the check right away but the check is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. "new name". I guess that means we should wait?

strlzfan11

You might be able to get away with endorsing it as For deposit only.  Call up your bank and ask what their policy is.

elmulvey

If they post dated it, then yes, wait.  I am guessing its dated now, so deposit it.  They wouldnt have sent it now if they didnt intend for you to deposit it now.

georgia_bride09

OP, I'd be pissed if I sent you a check and you held it for three months. Cash/deposit it now. The sender doesn't care what you use it for. Just tell her you're saving for china/blender/new bedding in your TY note.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You can mention you'll use the money on the honeymoon or for a house or something, so she doesn't think you're spending it "on the wedding." Proper etiquette is to not spend the money until after the wedding because if the wedding doesn't take place for any reason, you need to return the gifts you've already received, including cash.

dibsontop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_early-wedding-gift-thank-question-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85fb41c1-5233-4fb0-abfe-da239585361aPost:e9fabbba-7010-4248-b684-97905653b9da">Re: Early wedding gift (thank you question) XP</a>:
[QUOTE]You can mention you'll use the money on the honeymoon or for a house or something, so she doesn't think you're spending it "on the wedding." <strong>Proper etiquette is to not spend the money until after the wedding because if the wedding doesn't take place for any reason, you need to return the gifts you've already received, including cash.
</strong>Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Which is exactly why I didn't want to deposit it, because then it appears as though it was spent.

Does anyone know how to cash a check made out to Mr & Mrs when I'm clearly not Mrs. yet?

Themis278

Banks have changed thier policy and pretty much if it is Mrs. AND Mr you will be out of luck, if it is Mrs. or Mr you can deposit it into the FI account.

That actually might be your out. You could polilty call and explain that since the check isn't made out to your madian name so you can't cash it until after your wedding so you just want to make sure it doesn't mess up her accounting. It also gives her a chance to say - oh i'll just write you another and cash it right away

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_early-wedding-gift-thank-question-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85fb41c1-5233-4fb0-abfe-da239585361aPost:95b68d53-c3d3-4d26-8a74-1656cde2cd7a">Re: Early wedding gift (thank you question) XP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Early wedding gift (thank you question) XP : Which is exactly why I didn't want to deposit it, because then it appears as though it was spent. Does anyone know how to cash a check made out to Mr & Mrs when I'm clearly not Mrs. yet?
Posted by dibsontop[/QUOTE]
You'll have to check with your bank/CU.