order of the day

andthepigsaidtothecow

I wasn't really sure where to ask this but..

i'm trying to plan the layout of the day and this is what I have so far

Church wedding followed by a few photos

Everyone walk to a local pub (that is allowing us to bring some of our own small canepe things for people to nibble on)

A gap - we will have some transport to get people back to the hotel if they are staying in the hotel. (everyone else lives locally and many family are staying with people etc)

Reception/evening do at the hotel that people are staying in.  (for which more people are invited but they can just come for the evening bit - don't shot me inviting people just to evening do is usual here)

But does it sound alright?

brielleinlove

Well, I have no plans to shoot you, but I will tell you that there are some rude aspects to your plans.

1. What is the plan for guests who don't want to go to the pub and are relying on your transportation?

2. Regardless of what you say is "usual" in your area, it is still very rude to have a tiered wedding.

Gaps never struck me as rude before TK because I come from a very heavily Catholic area where gaps are more or less unavoidable (churches won't do weddings after 3:30, reception halls don't open until 6), but if you can avoid it, I would.

andthepigsaidtothecow

 - About 'tiered' reception - not called that in the UK and honestly it isn't rude at all. Just inviting friends or collegues to the evening do is (sort of) expected. Not thought of as rude. Call it a typical british thing. (From here i've realised how different weddings are between the us and uk)

Hmm - Not sure about the pub thing, I didn't want to leave everyone hanging around at home or in their hotel. I'm expecting that most coming to the weddinng will go to the pub. hmm guess I could get the transport to do two journeys? one after the wedding and another after the pub?

Fair point about gap - i didn't want it to just be more food straight away. And have to have a bit of a gap for the hotel to set up, Would it be better if I could see if the hotel had a lounge or part of the bar for people to actually have a place to go? 

AddieCake

I will leave the tiered reception alone if it is indeed a UK thing. 

As for walking to the pub, I'm not a fan. I don't want to have to walk to a new location for a cocktail hour. And I hate gaps. I hate having to twiddle my thumbs waiting on the reception. 

OwningAHome1981

You can't expect people to walk and you have to assume not everyone will want to go to a pub. My 95 year old grandma who uses a walker would not want to walk to a pub to get a drink.

The pub idea is fine but you need to provide transportation and other options for people who choose not to go to the pub. Also, what if it rains? Is evryone supposed to get dresses soaked? You definitely need some kind of mode of transportation to get to the pub. Of course people don't have to use it (if they prefer to walk that's fine), but it really needs to be available as an option and paid for by you or your parents or whomever is hosting your affair, not your guests.

Also I'm ditto that tiered receptions are rude but I've never been to a wedding in the UK so if that's how it is done, I'll leave it alone.

andthepigsaidtothecow

Um the pub - is literally across the road from the church (it is at a cross junction the church is on one side and diagonally opposite is the pub)  (no one -currently- has mobillity issues)

By 'hosted' do you mean payed by us? yes - but we have worked it out so it is the equivalent of a drink each - like a pint (of booze) people can buy more after if they want but it is in an attempt to limit alcoholic consumption then (as there is a reception and evening do as well) but it is in the afternoon so people hopefull wouldn't drink alot 

Evening do - i guess it is a very brit thing - more people, more food like a buffet/lots and lots of canepes and drink. More like a party. People with kids will often leave the reception drop the kids off and then come back for a knees up. (my parents/PIL arent going to stay for the late evening do - they'll stick around to say hello to our friends and the like but are then taking our kid and their other grand children) does that make sence?

As there is a gap - due to the hotel what can I do as people dont seem to like having one?

Kate61487

I think the location of the pub sounds fine, but what do you mean by 'the equivalent of a drink each'?  Are you doing drink tickets or something?  or a cap on cost so if one person gets two drinks does that mean someone else gets none?  In general it's rude to treat your guests as though they can't judge for themselves what is an appropriate amount to drink.  If you're going to host this pub bit then you should fully host it; meaning you pay for any food/drinks available to them.  If you can't do that I'd cut the pub all together.  There's a gap regardless so the pub doesn't really help with that and guests who want to spend the gap there I'm sure will see it across the street and make it over there on their own.

Ideally you'd avoid the gap by having a hosted event from the moment your guests arrive at the ceremony until they go home at the end of the night.  Even still you don't want to leave them hanging for more than an hour, two TOPS.  You don't have any times on your schedule above so I don't know how far off you are from having that be possible.  Here's an idea what it could look like

3:30 - church wedding
4-5:30 - guests go to the pub for cocktail hour (ALL food and drink paid for by you) while you take photos / hang out at the pub with them
5:30 - shuttles take everyone to the reception location
6:00 - everyone's settled at the reception and you begin intros / toasts / dinner / dancing - whatever your plan was.

I would include both the cocktail hour timing / location and the reception timing / location on invitation inserts.  That way everyone knows what's going on and no one will get left behind because they wandered off at 5:15.

STARMOON44

I think all of this sounds completely standard for a British wedding, and you'll get better advice about the details on a Brit wedding board.