bm dress cost

jnic0319

Ok so here's the deal...I have 7 girls, two are my sisters and MOH's they are wonderful cooperative and don't care about the cost of the dress because they are young and my mom is paying (don't worry mom is helping pick the dresses and is 100% fine with the price range I am in)

1 is my future sister in law who asked that i stay between 200-275 which is way too much money in my opinion.

2 said the $150 range is great, which is what I am sticking with, and these two girls are in the worst financial situation of them all.

Then the last two who have very little wedding experience think I should pick a $30 dress from target and that is reasonable.  They both have only been in one wedding and that is what the girl did and so they think that is the norm.

My mom suggest that I tell them that I am going to make it as reasonable as possible and go with the $150 range because they need to learn at somepoint bm dresses don't cost $30.  So I told them I was going to stay under $150 and they seemed annoyed.  I know they can afford it, they just don't know any better.  What do I do??

ricksang

Hmmm do you want everyone's dress to match?

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-dress-cost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86ccad68-e3e6-4800-b18e-216275894054Post:268b4ab3-c99d-4a79-8e60-d292359e6805">bm dress cost</a>:
[QUOTE]  I know they can afford it, they just don't know any better.  What do I do??
Posted by jnic0319[/QUOTE]

Are you really sure you know the ins and outs of their financial situations? I wouldn't presume to know that they can afford it and just "don't know any better." That being said, your BMs need to be comfortable with the price of the dress you choose for them to wear. Is there any way you could maybe cover part of the cost of their dresses, if they're not comfortable with the price? Talk to them, and see if it's really the cost or something else bugging them about the dress.

SarahPLiz

You never get to make choices about what other people do with their money, so you can't know thay can afford it unless you know what their bank accounts and bills look like. Chances are you are not their accountant...

If they think $150 is too much, then ask them what they would be more comfortable with, but that you are not thinking about using the dress from Target. Once you get their acceptable price range, then start looking.

FWIW, my sisters found their MOH dresses for our wedding at Ross for $20 each. They are gorgeous purple cocktail dresses. Don't NOT look at discount places due to pride. There isno need to waste money.

FutureMrsTR

Well, first of all you can't KNOW that they can afford it.  Personally, I think they're being a little unreasonable, but you'll need to talk to them individually to find out what the problem is. 

If they truly can't afford it and you really want them in your wedding, maybe you can help them out financially. 

Or if you don't want to do that, then they may have to remove themselves from the wedding if they refuse to buy the only dress you find acceptable.

JessAndTrav

Yeah, what they're saying. ^

SwedishChick2011

Well, you could do one of several things. 

1.  Offer to pick up the extra cost of the dress for these 2 BMs (if you can afford that).
2.  Pick the BM dresses and ask the 2 BMs to find something similar in the same color.  They might find something decent, or they might decide it's not worth the hassle and just buy the dress you chose.
3.  Pick a less expensive dress for all your BMs.
4.  Tell them to suck it up and deal.

jnic0319

I know they can afford it because they both told me they could, they just think that it's silly to get "expensive" dresses when there are perfectly good dresses at target.  Which I don't mind the target aspect, but I went and tried on the dresses they liked and hated them.  I am trying to order online to save them as much money as possible...

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-dress-cost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:86ccad68-e3e6-4800-b18e-216275894054Post:bcf7f1ac-c741-4663-83b5-e8881c811f11">Re: bm dress cost</a>:
[QUOTE]I know they can afford it because they both told me they could, they just think that it's silly to get "expensive" dresses when there are perfectly good dresses at target.  Which I don't mind the target aspect, but I went and tried on the dresses they liked and hated them.  I am trying to order online to save them as much money as possible...
Posted by jnic0319[/QUOTE]

Then obvioulsy they are uncomfortable spending the money that they have on a dress they will wear once. I am too, for that matter. Look at the suggestions above. Either pick a mor reasonably priced dress, or open your mind to them having different dresses. Let them look for something and see if you like it.

laurenclaire1386

I'm with Sarah too. I balk at spending $150 on a dress that even I pick out. I don't know, maybe I'm just a cheap ass. Think outside the box though: you can find perfectly acceptable BM dresses for less than $150 in a number of places like Express, Limited, Macy's, etc. (I'm thinking mostly cocktail length stuff though) You don't necessarily have to go through a bridal shop for BM dresses.

shellydiane820

Be careful ordering dresses online, a lot of dress sizes vary.  I've been in a few weddings and one brand I am a size 8 and another I am a size 4.

Just let them know that this is the dress you want.  You can offer to help pay for the dress or if they aren't comfortable with that, then maybe they shouldn't be bridesmaids.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you go with something like David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo, you could either tell them the price range for those dresses, or tell them to pick whatever DB or AA dress they like, as long as it is in x color and x length (so they can control the cost a little better) or pick the dress and try to research places like netbride and house of brides who might have the dress cheaper.

jnic0319

ok thank you for your suggestions.  I will have another conversation with them with a more open mind, I'm sure there is a compromise we will all be happy with.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-dress-cost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86ccad68-e3e6-4800-b18e-216275894054Post:bcf7f1ac-c741-4663-83b5-e8881c811f11">Re: bm dress cost</a>:
[QUOTE]I know they can afford it because they both told me they could, they just think that it's silly to get "expensive" dresses when there are perfectly good dresses at target.  Which I don't mind the target aspect, but I went and tried on the dresses they liked and hated them.  I am trying to order online to save them as much money as possible...
Posted by jnic0319[/QUOTE]
There are a lot of things in life that I have enough money for, but when I look at it I realize even if I have the money in my pocket I can't afford to buy some things, whether that be because the value is not worth it to me, or I know I could put that money toward something I need/want more, etc.

While I think they are being unreasonable with their $30 limit, I still maintain you do not know whether or not they can afford $150.

My BMs gave me a $100 limit.  I know they could have dropped the money on more expensive dresses, but thats' what they were comfortable with so that was the top end of our budget.