No?'s Just a bunch of Hags Sh*t Stirring

tGb8

 I got the answer I needed.  A big Thank You to all of the ladies that helped, and were straight forward but kind and classy while doing so.  Thanks again.

kellyjellybelly

Can you expand on the 'beyond disrespected me in my own home' portion?

mica178

He's about to become your stepbrother, and she might someday become your stepsister-in-law (is that a real term?).  In addition to being good etiquette, inviting her is also good family politics.

JadziaDax

You said you think things have come to a rest so my opinion is to invite her. If the drama has died down, just invite her and don't create any more drama.

brookelynpaisley

I'm sorry you disrespected you in some way, but she's still the chosen partner of your step-brother. They seem to be in a long-term and commited relationship. You can't choose who people love, and disliking her doesn't excuse you from needing to do the polite and proper thing and invite her.

AmoroAgain

The correct answer is- It would be poor ettiquette not to AND you should do it for Rob.

zitiqueen

He's the son of her mother's ex-fiancé. Ex. He won't be her step-brother.

Goldlie11

You should always invite someone with their live-in partner.  You said things are at a rest.  You probably will be too busy to even notice her.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you invite Rob, you need to invite his girlfriend. You have the option of not inviting either, but that would probably strain the relationship further.

So basically, they come as a unit - all or nothing.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:ae105638-0614-4df9-9a09-8d818aede540">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]Guess I didn't proof read well enough.  Rob is my mother's Ex-fiancé's son (fairly recent Ex; as of November 2009).  We are still friends, but he will not become a part of my family, and neither will his girlfriend.  I actually haven't seen or talked to Tori since the incident.  Since November 2009, the only time I even talk to Rob is when I have a business proposition for him.  Not to say that I haven't tried to get together for dinner with him.  He always says that he will get back to me with his schedule and never calls back.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
That's not what you said earlier:
<div><strong><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">
</font></strong></div><div><strong><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">  Lately, he has really been there for me when emergencies would come up, and I needed him to dog sit (several times) for a couple of weeks at a time (I did pay him of course, but that's not the point).</font></strong></div>

mica178

Whoops. 

Okay, skip the part about family politics.  You should still invite the girlfriend.  She's part of Rob's social unit.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:77b72f81-41c3-4e4c-ad07-16fbf21eaa84">Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]  I am sort of close with my mother's ex-fiancé's son (Rob).  I am 30 and he is in his mid 20's.  Several years ago, Rob lived with me and my fiancé for a little over 6 months.  He got a girlfriend (Tori) and they decided to get a place together.  It was great.  We had our own space back, and he and his girlfriend were happily living together.  They came over and hung out often.  We also went out to dinner and a movie quite frequently.   The New Years before last, Tori beyond disrespected me in my own home.  This led to a huge argument.  She continued to talk non-sense and put herself between me, Rob, and Rob's brother Chris.  Needless to say, Tori and I don't exactly have a good relationship.  Although  I think things have come to a rest, and have been there for quite some time now, there was never an apology, and we still don't like each other.   Now, Rob and I hardly ever talk; and usually, we only see each other during the holidays.   Lately, he has really been there for me when emergencies would come up, and I needed him to dog sit (several times) for a couple of weeks at a time (I did pay him of course, but that's not the point).   Rob, his girlfriend Tori, and his brother Chris, all live under the same roof.   Is it Poor Etiquette to only invite Rob and Chris, and leave her out of it?  Should I, or Should I Not Invite her?
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
JIC

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:ae105638-0614-4df9-9a09-8d818aede540">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]Guess I didn't proof read well enough.  Rob is my mother's Ex-fiancé's son (fairly recent Ex; as of November 2009).  We are still friends, but he will not become a part of my family, and neither will his girlfriend.  I actually haven't seen or talked to Tori since the incident.  Since November 2009, the only time I even talk to Rob is when I have a business proposition for him.  Not to say that I haven't tried to get together for dinner with him.  He always says that he will get back to me with his schedule and never calls back.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter.  If you want Rob there, you need to invite his gf.  They live together.  It's really quite simple.

nda_roxybabe

Eh, sounds like 1 fight, big whoop. If you're inviting him you have to invite her.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:8b7c5d99-d89a-4bc2-8d05-31874777ec27">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]Rob's brother Chris was living with us during New Years 2009.  Chris got so drunk that New Years, at someone else's house, that when they brought him home he couldn't walk or talk.  After ringing our door bell in the wee hours of the morning, Rob and Tori were dragging Chris (6'? well over 200lbs) out of the back of her car.  At this point I had just walked out there and am waiting for my fiancé to get outside and help.  Once they got him out, they had to set him down in the grass to rest.  He was face down in the grass not moving.  When I am panicked, I get paralyzed and laugh uncontrollably.  Given the situation, this is exactly what happened.  Tori got pissed and started yelling at me saying that it wasn't funny.  When I was able to regroup and explain, she continued to be rude and nasty.  My fiancé comes out and helps Rob carry Chris inside and upstairs.  During this time I am saying that we should get him to the hospital or possibly even call 911.  She assures me that this is not needed, that her EMT friend at the party checked him out before they left to bring him home.  She then proceeds to keep talking crap and, in my home, when I went to tell her to "Stop; this is not the time nor the place.", she told me to Shut the F**K Up!!  I then told her to get out of my home.  She refused to leave until I told her that I would call the police.  None of us, but Chris, had been drinking that night.  This was a completely low-life situation that I am not used to and will not tolerate.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
OK.  But you said that it happened a while ago, right?  I would just invite her.  If she really can't stand you, she probably won't want to go.  Of course, that means Rob might not go either.<div>
</div><div>
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AmoroAgain

Listen.  Listen closely. 

If you invite him, you must invite her.  That's it.  The end. 

No matter the excuses you come up with, that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Stop focusing so hard on this one super tiny detail, and just let.it.go.

Seriously, why the hell would you get so huffed up about an argument that was so long ago?  If I'd been there and you had been laughing, I'd probably have been pissed too.  She's got the opinion that you're a bitch.  Why would you enforce it anymore by not inviting her?

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:e55589eb-f6a9-462f-98aa-9d67923588a3">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]I should also mention that Rob hasn't said a word to anyone that he has an issue with this.  When I was going over the guest list with my mother, and she realized that Tori wasn't going to be invited, my mother is the one who is having the issue.  That is what prompted me to post the question, not that Rob is saying that he isn't coming without Tori or anything.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
Holy crap!!  Give it a goddamn rest already!  Just fucking invite her!

What do you think he's going to do, throw dog poo in your face and scream at you?  NO.  He's going to tell her, and she's going to piss and moan about how mean you are to her, and she'll tell him he can't go without her, blah blah blah.

It's just ONE fucking person.  My.God.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:e55589eb-f6a9-462f-98aa-9d67923588a3">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]I should also mention that Rob hasn't said a word to anyone that he has an issue with this.  When I was going over the guest list with my mother, and she realized that Tori wasn't going to be invited, my mother is the one who is having the issue.  That is what prompted me to post the question, not that Rob is saying that he isn't coming without Tori or anything.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
So now I believe that you already made up your mind and had no intention of inviting Tori.  If that's the case, fine.  But please don't come to the Etiquette board asking for validation.  What you are planning to do is rude.  Your mother is right to have an issue with it.  

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:e2eceb19-daf0-4509-809a-16cea04f5a83">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]No, you are completely right. <strong> I did have my mind made up. </strong> When my mother had the issue, it prompted me to post on the etiquette board to find out if she was right in that I was being rude.  I wasn't looking for validation; I was looking for what other people thought, so that I can reflect and make the right decision.  Somehow, in furthering explanations (at the request of some others posting comments and opinions), certain people (not you) on here felt the need to get bent out of shape and attack me.  I am not looking for validation, I am not making this bigger than it is.  It is simple and I was simply trying to bounce my question off fellow brides, and ended up having to further explain, and then defend weird attacks against my explanations.  There are no excuses, just answers to questions.  It's a simple question that required a simple answer.  That's all I was looking for and got so much more.  Thanks for your input, it is appreciated.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]<div>What you did do is try and validate your opinion.  </div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/validating?show=0&t=1283637134" rel="nofollow">http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/validating?show=0&t=1283637134</a></div><div>
Well, now that you know it rude (it was a unanimous decision) it's up to you to decide what to do with the info.  Just know that you could be putting your relationship with Rob in jeopardy.  If you don't care, then f*ck it don't, invite her.  </div>

brookelynpaisley

Amoro's truly not being all that rude at all. She's blunt and to the point. She's told you the answer to your question at least 3 times. You just keep trying to come up with excuses. We get it, you don't like Tori and don't want to invite her. No matter how many further "explanations" you provide, you're still in the wrong if you don't invite her.

Beachy730

Plain and simple, they live together, they are a social unit.  The question should come down to "do I want Rob there?"  If the answer to that question is yes, then you have to also invite Tori.  Like it or not.  How would you feel if they got engaged and only your FI was invited and not you?

Honestly, it was one fight a long time ago.  She was nervous, and probably didn't want to admit to herself how bad of shape he was in.  And did she know that when you get nervous you laugh uncontrollably?  Because if I was in her situation that night and you did that I would probably flip out too.  I think you need to be the bigger person here and invite her.  Your mother is right.

brookelynpaisley

Is it me, or are the posts gone?

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:1357a64f-d307-4021-9466-f635a0e8dda8">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow!!   AmoroAgain   Your over the top rudeness and obscenities are uncalled for.  No one's getting "huffed up" here but you.  You should really get some help with this anger issue of yours.  Good luck with that.
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
Aww, you're cute!  That's  just our Amoro. Love her or leave her, she gives no fucks.

[Deleted User]

parana?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-her-poor-etiquette-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86f55def-d224-47e8-acca-5cfb2d9407c6Post:f5527cba-654f-45d3-82e8-8b5439898704">Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should I Invite Her? Is it poor etiquette not to? : They are now.  You are just as classless as she is!!
Posted by tGb8[/QUOTE]
what? brookelyn? she's as tame as they come.

squirrly

OP, when you get advice, please leave your post and all followups in place.  There are thousands of people who read this board daily, and they might have a similar question to yours.  Please let them learn by lurking.

jayjoe

"it got ugly quickly" LOL No, you got honest answers and became a tamper tantrum throwing 5 year old quickly.

Mrs.B6302007

Wow  She's from my stretch of town.

Mrs.B6302007

I love the title.  It's like when the police say "Nothin' to see her folks.  Keep movin'. "

[Deleted User]

bee, this the 2nd title change since she deleted her posts. this one's a bit looney toons.

i love how she's acting like deleting all her posts would be a huge favor to anyone.

jayjoe

which, of course, makes everyone want to stop and see.