Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Gifts

My close girlfriend is getting married two weeks after me and she and I are both feeling the pinch.  Not only do we have our own weddings, we also have 4 other weddings between now and then end of the year.  Given that she is getting married two weeks after me, is it appropriate to ask her to "call it even" on a wedding gift?  I feel like it's silly for her to give me a check then to just turn it around and give it back to her in 2 weeks.  Thoughts from other brides out there?  Am I being too cheap?  I'm sure I'm not the only one about to go crazy!

Re: Wedding Gifts

  • I see your point, but I think I'd like my friend to have a gift that she can always remember as being from me. 
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  • You know your friend best, talk to her and do whatever is most comfortable for both of you. Exchaning a sentimental token might be a nicer idea than cash in my opinion, especially given the situation. How many close friends get to gush over wedding stuff on the same time line like that? ;)

  • I understand where you're coming from, and my FI would be all about the "calling it even" thing, but I agree with danieliza, it would be nice to have some token from each other's wedding. Think of it this way, you buy a gift, she buys a gift; so it's like you break even, not necessarily down to the exact dollar, but you know what I mean.
  • I wouldn't just buy her something from her registry. I would make sure to get something that has meaning to the two of you as friends. If you both just bought something off the registry, I'd just call it a wash.
  • One of my BM's is getting married 6 weeks before me.  I called her and said, so...do you want to do the whole gift thing or just skip it and call each others presence the gift LOL she said "Oh thank God one last gift I have to buy!" and we laughed that both of us were thinking the same thing.

    If you are close I don't see a problem with it, if she is the type to not get easily offended.
  • Cash is the norm in my crowd, so if it was a good friend, I'd call and say something like what jnic said. It seems silly to get a check and then give one for the same amount two weeks later.
  • What if you agree to go out in a couple months when the dust has settled and do a spa day or something you'd both enjoy?

    Just an idea, its basically a trade off if you give a gift ...

  • Technically you have a year past the wedding to deliver a gift. If you have your heart set on something with a price tag, wait.

    If she's a good friend, I'd just call her and ask if you can call it even or postpone.

    Or trade something of each other's to wear on  your days. A ring, beautiful head piece, hanky, etc.
  • something that has meaning is better than something expensive. my gift from my best friend when I was in her wedding was a tube of Lipsmackers lipgloss (because she and I LOVED it in high school) and a double picture frame with picture of us on one side and a note on the other. it probably didn't cost more than $10 total, but I loved it. I gave her some jewelry that really suits her personality and the bracelet has some scripture on it that she likes and quotes often.
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