Wedding shower gift etiquette

hmiller621

So I'll start by saying I'm a little dense about weddings.  I didn't start learning about wedding etiquette till I started planning my own.  My Fiance and I have some friends getting married in April and we were invited to a couples shower.  For some reason I thought we brought the wedding gift to the wedding shower instead of bringing it to the wedding.  Is this wrong? Do we buy two gifts, one for the shower and one for the wedding?  My FMIL told us it was proper to buy them two gifts, is this correct?  Thanks Ladies!

lauralaur

Yes, you would bring a gift to the shower and then later on send another gift for the wedding. However, gifts are at the discretion of the giver, so if you do not want to give two gifts or cannot afford to or whatnot then please don't feel that you must.

I will say though, that because a shower is a gift-giving event, I would not attend a shower if I were not bringing a gift. The wedding is not a gift-giving event by definition, so I would feel comfortable attending a wedding even if I was not sending a gift for whatever reason.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-gift-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:880e657c-45e5-4bf1-8d3b-3485e077a158Post:e320edcc-dfdc-48fc-be40-b1d8f0fe17e9">Wedding shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]So I'll start by saying I'm a little dense about weddings.  I didn't start learning about wedding etiquette till I started planning my own.  My Fiance and I have some friends getting married in April and we were invited to a couples shower.  For some reason I thought we brought the wedding gift to the wedding shower instead of bringing it to the wedding.  Is this wrong? Do we buy two gifts, one for the shower and one for the wedding?  My FMIL told us it was proper to buy them two gifts, is this correct?  Thanks Ladies!
Posted by hmiller621[/QUOTE]

<div>Much of the time it is done this way: A smaller gift for the "shower" and a larger balance (either a larger gift or check) for the "wedding." </div><div>
</div><div>So what I've seen suggested is that you set a total gift budget. Let's say that's $200. You might bring a $50 gift to the shower and then write a $150 check for the wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>However, gift value should be set by your budget, not by any arbitrary "wedding industry" figures.</div>

AddieCake

You are not obligated to give a gift at both, but I always do.

MrsGandthebeag

Ditto what the others have said.  I set a budget and then give a portion on a physical gift if I go to the shower, and then the rest of the money in a check at the wedding.

vanityink

Agreed, but I too do a general "wedding budget" and then pick two gifts that fit into the overall price rather than just one big one at either event.

hoffse

Yeah I usually have about $100 for a budget overall for people we aren't super close to - if I'm invited to the shower I'll spend $25 on that and $75 on the wedding gift.  It goes up a bit for people we are closer to.