Sorry this is soo long but I need help!! Mywedding isn't until July 2012, so my fiance and I have decided not to choose the wedding party until this July. However I have been placed in a very unfortunate situation. I have a cousin who I have been pretty close to the past few years and intended on asking to be a bridesmaid. After getting engaged she went a bridal show with me and went to Kleinfelds in NY with me to go dress shopping. When her birthday came around in August, she was making plans to go away for a night to Atlantic City. My fiance and I are paying for the whole wedding so at this moment I am completely poor. All of our money is going to savings. I explained to her though I would love to come, I couldn't afford it but I would love to take her out to dinner to celebrate. She told me that I was completely wrong for not going. She deserved a big birthday celebration because of all she had done for my wedding. While I was very very thankful she had come with me and appreciated having her there, I really couldn't afford to pay $200 to go away for a birthday. We didn't talk for about 3 months after that. I had never asked her to be a bridesmaid and after all this I decided I didn't want her in the wedding. I would never feel comfortable asking her to go for dress fittings or anything without feeling like I owe her my first born child in return. However now she has text me and asked if I was going to have her be a bridesmaid. Now what do I say! Please help! I don't want to cause any problems in the family but I really don't want her in the wedding.