Wedding Etiquette Forum

the wedding I was in (a cautionary tale for brides to be)

was pretty. however, my friend turned into a total bridezilla. which is so unlike her. she yelled at everyone, even her mom, who is the sweetest person on the planet. and at one point she made me hide in the bathroom and cry. here's what happened.
I ordered my bridesmaid dress from alfred angelo a few months ago.
here it is:



I made sure to specify that the top was white, not ivory. well, they wound up shipping it to the wrong place, and then they sent me another one. I guess when they did, they sent the wrong color or something. it looked like it was right to me.

on the wedding day, she was strung out. nothing made her smile, and I tried to be the best bridesmaid ever. whatever. anyways, we go to a salon for hair and makeup, and then went to the castle (yes, she got married at a castle) to get dressed. we'd left our dresses there the night before at the rehearsal. no one noticed anything while we were getting dressed. then, I went into the ballroom where I saw laura talking with the bridesmaids. here's what went down.
me: *walking up smiling, eager to help*
laura: *stops dead and stares at me* "You got ivory."
me: *confused, thinking she's saying I have something on my dress*
laura: "I said WHITE."
me: *looking around and noticing the slight difference in colors of BM dresses, turning pale*  "I'm so sorry, I told them white--"
laura, interrupting: *eyeroll* "WHATEVER. you can put your bouquet here for the reception."
me:  "Laura, I'm so sorry, they must have screwed up--"
laura, interrupting again, snaps: "WHATEVER, NOT LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT NOW!"
then she stomped off and one of the bridesmaids (the one I don't like) actually smirked. I would love to kick that girl to sleep.

that's when I went in the bathroom and cried and then went downstairs. I didn't even go watch her get dressed like the other girls did. I couldn't get it up enough to care.

she actually said at one point "I just need SOMEONE to HELP me and NO ONE CARES!" me and the other bms exchanged a lot of looks. and when she walked down the aisle, she had total bitch-face. she looked miserable.

moral of the story is, on your wedding day, remember your bms are there because they care about you, and it's voluntary. they don't have to be there. I don't know when this trend started of people being like "oh, it's my wedding, I'm supposed to be a bitch!" stop watching those shows people.

oh, and I wound up paying the bridesmaid the $60. just so I didn't have to deal with it.
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Re: the wedding I was in (a cautionary tale for brides to be)

  • Awwww, La2. :( That blows.
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  • Wow.. Im sorry you had to go through that!
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  • Jesus. Did she refuse to let you be in the bridal party and take your bouquet from you?
    Whattabitch. Both of them.
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  • it sucked man. I'm going to talk to her about it.
  • That's bull, Lala.  I'm sorry that she was such a twunt on that day.  She's going to look back on it with regret, and not just because she's going to have bitchface in all of her pictures.
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  • someone needs to talk her off the ledge... or just push it over.

    It's not the end of the world.
  • I will kick her in the shins if you would like me too. Its my speciality.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-cautionary-tale-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:88b49ea9-4fbc-494b-bf80-311d87e9f435Post:8e4ece80-9f99-4555-b561-735e41a5e22c">Re: the wedding I was in (a cautionary tale for brides to be)</a>:
    [QUOTE]someone needs to talk her off the ledge... or just push it over. It's not the end of the world.
    Posted by lmg1115[/QUOTE]
    word. she kept saying "I'm a perfectionist!" like it was a good excuse to be a twunt. grow up.
  • Holy crap, lala. That's dreadful. I hope she realizes in retrospect that she made her own wedding miserable with her attitude.
  • Oh my gosh that is horrible!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-cautionary-tale-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:88b49ea9-4fbc-494b-bf80-311d87e9f435Post:445ed2c0-2afb-45e1-af11-0264635f993c">Re: the wedding I was in (a cautionary tale for brides to be)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jesus. Did she refuse to let you be in the bridal party and take your bouquet from you? Whattabitch. Both of them.
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]
    she didn't kick me out, but she was telling me what to do with the boquet during the reception. but when I called my husband crying he wanted me to give her the finger and split. I didn't, but I wanted to.
  • I'm a "perfectionist" too.  That doesn't give you license to treat your best friends like garbage.
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  • I'm sorry, that's not cool at all.  I wasn't stressed about my wedding at all, so it is hard for me to understand that type of behavior.  Sure, it's too bad the dress was wrong, but at that point, nothing could be done and unless people were staring at your boobs, they probably didn't even notice.
  • That's terrible. I seriously can't imagine being that unhappy on my wedding day. I'm sorry you had to deal with that Lala.
  • it hurt. I kept expecting her to, I don't know, hug me at the reception and say something like "sorry about earlier, I was stressed" or at least acknowledge she was being awful. but she didn't. and I haven't talked to her since. I'm hurt and mad.
  • Well that's total suckage.  Sorry! :(
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  • money, I didn't stress either! one of my bms had a completely different dress, and I couldn't care less. it was such a good day.

    thanks for letting me vent, ladies :)
  • TREAT YOUR BRIDESMAIDS WELL, PEOPLE.

    TREAT THEM WELL.

    Because yeah. I've had really awesome bridesmaid experiences and really bad ones, and some weddings that have made me see my lifelong friends totally differently.

    Just be excellent to each other.
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  • I'd have to wonder if someone behaving that way was even happy to be getting married at all.

  • Also a good and valid point, Manda.
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  • I agree with Manda.  That's insane.  I don't understand letting things get to you, to the point that you can't be happy on your WEDDING DAY.  What a whoreface.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-cautionary-tale-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:88b49ea9-4fbc-494b-bf80-311d87e9f435Post:da6a3108-4b0b-4af6-ac7c-3c188bd61570">Re: the wedding I was in (a cautionary tale for brides to be)</a>:
    [QUOTE]it hurt. I kept expecting her to, I don't know, hug me at the reception and say something like "sorry about earlier, I was stressed" or at least acknowledge she was being awful. but she didn't. and I haven't talked to her since. I'm hurt and mad.
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

    I'm so sorry and I don't blame you one bit for being hurt and mad. She should acknowledge her stress. We all have it; and at some point, we all get out heads out of our asses and realize it.
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  • That's really sad.  For you and for her.  :( 

    My cake fell on the floor when I went to pick it up.  It still didn't ruin my day. 
  • That really sucks. I don't understand why people think that weddings are a license to be a totall a-hole to everyone. And why people get so stressed about them.

    I'm midway through my planning and am still not stressed. I am not overwhelmed and I haven't thrown hissy fits to those around me. I don't get why any of that is necessary.
  • I have perfectionistic tendencies no doubt, but there's no way I would be willing to let it ruin our wedding. Not. Worth. It.

    So sorry your friend had to learn that lesson the hard way. I bet she really comes to regret it, but it sounds like this has really affected your friendship, and that sucks.
    Lizzie
  • IMO, there's no reason a bride should make her bridesmaids cry on the wedding day.  Goodness, it's supposed to be happy day, why ruin it by yelling at your nearest and dearest?

    Listen to poor Lala's tale, young brides, and learn what not to do. 

    Sorry, Lala.  :(  At least it's all over now.

  • I'm sorry. I really cannot imagine feeling like she did on her wedding day. Hell, we didn't have wine and had to send my BIL out to buy some, and we just laughed it off. And I'm pretty sure that wine affects the event a little bit more than a shade of white on a dress.
  • I'm sorry. That sucks. This story make me love our friends even more. Their wedding is memorial day weekend and just last week they had to change their venue. The bride is now gone for 3 weeks. So her FI and my Dh are handling the menus and stuff. I'm just making sure they are not doing something stupid. It's all good. No drama or anything. More brides need to be like her.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Man Lala, I'm sorry.  After everything you went through with her, I probably would have ripped the flowers off of their stems in the bouquet and said I quit as a BM.   

    I'm going to go out on a limb and say in a month this friend is going to be calling you and asking why you've been such a bad friend lately because you haven't even asked how her honeymoon was yet.
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