Grooms Parents Not Paying For Anything

kandacemolina07

First off, I'm not trying to come off rude or anything or say that I think my FI parents SHOULD pay for anything, because they dont have to. I just got lucky and my parents are willing to pay for a lot.
Anyways, my FI parents when we annouced our engagement his mother called me the next day with the names and addresses of 33 people they wanted to invite, so I took down the names and addresses and saved them into my Excel document. Well my mom wanted us to ask his parents if they planned on helping with the wedding, to which they said no. No problem, but the way the came across was rude, especially towards their only kid. Therefore my FI and I are paying for everything my parents arent, again no biggie.
So to the question! My FI and my parents do not think that we should invite the 33 people that his parents want to come because it's not fair to us or my parents to have to pay for the food to feed those people when his parents want nothing to do with the wedding, like I cant even run ideas by his mom... so do yall think that is rude to not invite those 33 people, it's my FI's side of the family and he has no problem with not inviting them and I dont think it's fair for us or my parents to pay for the additional people, but I feel bad for telling them "Hey sorry but since you arent doing anything for the wedding those 33 people you invited cant come!"
Opinions on this issue yall?
Thanks
Kandace

KristinMariaS

i'm googling this as I'm in the same situation. First off, totally appropriate to ask if they intend to contribute, you are planning and need to know what budget you are working with (your money and whatever you may be offered).  This is my first (his secound) and we were told they would do nothing.  I would have been happy if they just said they'd help with a RD just as a sign of support to us... but that's just what it is.  We have decided as my parents and us will be paying that it's my FI's choice who he invites.  So yes family will come, but FIL's college and whatever friends aren't going to be invited.  It doesn't seem fair to us or my parents to have the financial burden of about $100/head with them choosing not to contribute.  Side note there, they are more than financially capable to help a little, but just don't want to, if they were having financial problems I would say it's totally understandable but not the case for me.