Uh oh, is this an etiquette faux pas?

jeanna85

My mom and I booked two stylists to come to my parent's house the morning of the wedding to do hair and make-up for us. We then decided that we would book the stylists to do the bridesmaids hair and make-up as well. My mom would be paying for everyone and I will not be dictating the particular hair style or make up color. 

I was just ready to email the BMs with the good news and then I wondered is it rude and presumptuous to assume that all of my BMs will want to participate? I didn't ask them first but I would assume if someone doesn't want it they would speak up. Am I putting them in an awkward position (making them feel bad for declining if they don't want it) or am I overthinking this? I probably should have thought of this before booking but I got too excited I guess.

andy71781

If you aren't making them pay for it - allowing them to have somebody else do their hair (in the style they want) is totally fine in my book.  Let them know that you'll have a stylist "on set" and leave it at that.

Wrkn925

I think it's ok since you aren't asking them to pay for it.  Just word it nicely.

ETA: My computer posted prematurely.

Say: "I asked my styist to reserve time to fit you all in.  If you would like for her to do your hair and makeup, please be consdering what style you would be most comfortable with.  You don't have to use her, but if you choose to, the expense will be covered by my family."

I think I sound snotty.  Can someone else tone this down?

brookelynpaisley

"Hello ladies! Just wanted to let you know that we'll have complimentary hair and makeup stylists available to you for wedding day services at my mom's house. Of course, if you'd prefer to see your own stylist, you're welcome to do that as well. Please let me know if you're interested so I can arrange for the appropriate amount of time with the sylists."

Done and done. I'm assuming you'll have a contract with the stylists, so you will need to know numbers/times etc. I think this is wonderful of you to do! All of my BMs were OOT, so I arranged for their salon for the girls that said they wanted hair done. I paid for hair, but would have loved to have been able to pay for the makeup too.

cara91997

I think it's very nice of your mom to do that! I would tell them all that your mother has graciously offered to pay for everyone to get their hair done however they want it for the wedding. Then tell them if they are uncomfortable having their hair done or if they had something else planned, to please let you know so you can book it accordingly. I honestly don't think anyone would be offended. They will probably be excited for a free hair style!

redheadfsu

Yep, it is fine. If you (or your mother) is paying & they can decide how they want their hair & make-up (or to opt-out) it is fine. I actually think it is very sweet to do this for them.

jeanna85

Thanks for the input! I figured I was overthinking it but just wanted to make sure.

Wrkn925

Ummm, Brookelynpaisley wins.

Do what she said.

KentuckyKate

Definitely not an etiqutte faux-pas.  I wouldn't be worried at all about this.  Just tell them, if they want to get their hair and makeup done, your mom is covering it.  If they would rather do their own, or go to their own person, that's fine too, just let me know.

It's very generous of your mom to do this!

srkropf

You're not making them pay and your not being a Nazi bridezilla-- you're in the cool. And besides, who really wants to do their hair when someone else can do it pro for free-- very nice of you and your mom.

squirrly

Not a problem at all.  Just let them know that the stylists will be there, if they need to bring inspiration photos or whatever other instructions the stylists might have, and what time to show up if they want something done. 

BlueBoxBride

I think that's a really nice thing to do! 

kathrynhabibti

Ditto PPs, not a faux pas at all. That's really generous of your mom!

Wrkn: Brooke's rewording was good, but fwiw I didn't think yours sounded snotty at all; don't forget you're reading it as just the part pertaining to this question. There would likely be other stuff in there that's more off-topic and chatty/how are you doing/hope you all are well.