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Wedding Etiquette Forum

need some advice

I have a dilemma. When someone found out about my engagement, she said, in a jokey tone, "well I had better be invited!" and I totally flaked and said something like, "don't worry!" Because I wasn't prepared for this. So far, no one had said anything like this who wasn't obviously going to be invited. We did meet freshman year, but in 4.5 years, we have had two classes together and hung out outside of class maybe 5 times. And at least three of these times were for a class assignment. Now, my guest list is already HUGE (nearing 300-yikes!) and she will not know anyone except me. We aren’t close. The wedding will be at least five months after graduation, and right now my guilt-inducing plan is to not invite her...and hope she doesn’t notice. Five months is a long time in which to lose contact. Right? I think it’s too late to use the “small, personal, family only” excuse. Especially since that’s a flat out lie. Or to vaguely say I don’t have the list nailed down yet. Because, even if I hadn’t stupidly, said not to worry, that wouldn’t deter her. She just doesn’t pick up on those kinds of social clues.  
Does anyone have any experience with this? Any ideas on what I can do? 
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Re: need some advice

  • Relax and not worry about it.  If she does happen to say something else to you, just say "unfortunately we weren't able to invite everyone we would have liked to."  And its really not a dilemma, its happened to just about every single bride.  I'm pretty sure there have been at least 2 other identical posts in the last few days.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • "Don't worry!" isn't an invitation or a commitment to issue an invitation.  I understand that you feel obligated, and that's sweet -- but the reality is that you blurted something noncommittal in an awkward moment.  No big deal.

    Don't invite her.  If she asks -- and she probably won't, since you won't be sending invites until after graduation and it doesn't sound like you'll keep in touch -- be polite but honest: "We aren't able to invite eveyone whose company we enjoy and had to make some difficult decisions about the guest list." 
    image
  • Celles- your new pic creeps me out!  Its really cool, but I've been watching waaayyy too much Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures lately so it has me freaked!
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • lol!  I've changed it at least five times tonight; what's once more?  ;)

    image
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