Grandma

Night_Sprite

My grandma is 88 and not in great shape so she's not coming to the wedding.  

1. I still put her in the program, right?

2. Is there a way to recognize her without making her seem dead?

We've got a memorial bouquet for my one deceased grandpa, but since she's alive including her in the memorial is inappropriate.

Help?

Night_Sprite

Grandma has advanced dementia so she doesn't know what is going on.  I'm not so concerned about her finding out because she doesn't know me half the time.  This is more for my dad.

Brie2010

Could you have some flowers sent to her the day of the wedding so she knows you're thinking of her?  I'd imagine she feels bad about not getting to come.

Other than that, I would just list her in the program.  Most people will get it.  Also, not sure if you're having any kind of religious prayer stuff, but I've heard in various prayers lines like "we pray for those who are unable to travel to be with us on this special day, namely, Night's Grandma" or similar.

gkb0910

In that case, I think listing her in the program is enough.  I'm sorry about your Grandma.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grandma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b162c00-7f77-4929-af49-3b9fe8aa6b4cPost:556d03e8-6bcd-417f-a9cf-91eb5e8c7625">Re: Grandma</a>:
[QUOTE]In that case, I think listing her in the program is enough.  I'm sorry about your Grandma.
Posted by gkb0910[/QUOTE]
Thanks.  I'm not trying to be weird or weepy about it.  I just want to make sure I give her due deference.  Does that make sense?

AmoroAgain

Hey Night, does Grandma have a computer?  I'm guessing not, but is there any way you can make sure she's able to see the wedding?  We had an online link set up so people from around the world that couldn't make it to the wedding were able to watch.  It was a huge hit.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grandma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b162c00-7f77-4929-af49-3b9fe8aa6b4cPost:59a481cb-a020-4b5c-81c7-d5d1d24bb8ce">Re: Grandma</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Night, does Grandma have a computer?  I'm guessing not, but is there any way you can make sure she's able to see the wedding?  We had an online link set up so people from around the world that couldn't make it to the wedding were able to watch.  It was a huge hit.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
Great idea, but she doesn't have a computer.

AmoroAgain

Yeah, I didn't think so.  Anyone who has a laptop nearby who would help her with that?  It's easy, all they have to do is click a link.  Anywho... thought it might work for ya.

Night_Sprite

In the program she'll stay.  I'll ask the pastor to add her to the prayers.

Thank you for the ideas.

ac_in_dc

I've mentioned this before, but I wore a ring of my grandma's (PIB). It was awesome b/c it provided me with the chance to think about her on my wedding day, and my sister was able to visit her and show her pics of it before she died (which was about  3 weeks after the wedding).

The program sounds like enough, though, and sending flowers the day of is a great idea too.

hoshiku

My friend's grandmother was very sick during her wedding.  At the reception when everyone was giving toasts my friend stood up and asked everyone to toast her grandmother, who was very special to her but was unable to attend due to health reasons.  I thought this was a very touching moment.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You can list in memorium/memorials in the program (deceased) and in honor of/honorarium (living) in the program. That distinction will let people know she's not dead. It just depends on how you word it.

cengle

This is super late, but I was in the same boat as you. My grandmother couldn't come, as she's in a nursing home, and is impossible to travel from FL to MO.  We listed her under "Grandparents of the Bride."  We had a separate little blurb for In Remembrance of Family Members who had passed away.  We had our ceremony videotaped and made her a DVD so she could still see it later. Is that an option for you? I know my grandma loved it, even though she couldn't be there.