Wedding Etiquette Forum

Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places

I am currently going to physical therapy because my back is all sorts of sucking recently (no gold stars for it from me).  My physical therapist is a young plucky girl that is very pleasant to work with, and obviously makes a lot of friends.

Today while we were chatting, she mentioned that she would be gone the rest of the week because she was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding.  She did not have a happy face when she said this.

I pressed for more information, and it turns out that the poor girl is wearing a dress that she hates, was forced to buy 70 dollar matching shoes, will be spending 500 on plane tickets, is expected to drop 100 on staying in a cabin the bride and groom have 'assigned' the bridal party, AND to top it off, is being asked to pay over 1,000 for various parties that she cant even attend.

I felt very bad for her, and told her that I commonly hung out on this awesome site, and it helped me avoid being overly burdensome on my bridal party.  She looked at me like I was wedding jeebus when I told her that my party picked thier own dresses, wore whatever black shoes they wanted, and weren't asked to pay for any of the parties.

Let's hope we have a future awesome bride that comes here!

Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places

  • "assigned" the bridal party. . . what does that mean?  Assigned whom stands with/walks with whom?  That is a no-no?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • My friend is in a wedding that's costing her over $1k for and she's been pregnant and just had a baby so she's unable to attend things and still has to pay, which she's fine with....except that 2 other members in the group aren't paying their share. One said she had no idea  she'd have to pay for stuff so she's not.... and the other said she doesn't have $1k to contribute and therefore wouldn't contribute anything. She was asked if she could at least do the favors for the shower and she declined.

    So instead of changing the shower plans, the MOH still insisted on them having the shower at this fancy place and wouldn't listen to suggestions to do a less expensive meal or let someone make the cake.  So my friend is now footing more money to help cover the 2 that wont contribute.

    I would not be doing that... no.

  • edited March 2013
    WTF?  What the hell is costing people over 1K as a BM?  Where are these women (the brides & MOH's) coming up with this stuff?

    ETA: Sorry, I'm just shocked.  I'm sorry for your sister!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:521a9322-fb55-49e8-a59f-9c3b672e290e">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]"assigned" the bridal party. . . what does that mean?  Assigned whom stands with/walks with whom?  That is a no-no?
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]


    No, the bride and groom got a cabin without consulting the bridal party, and told them "Tada, this is where you shall stay.  Cough up the cost of staying there.  Kaythxbye!"

    So the poor girl doesn't even have the option of looking at staying at a motel 8 or something to lower the cost per night.  The worst part is that this is two hours from where she grew up, so she probably had family or friends she could have stayed with in the area.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:e03df16f-45fd-4001-baf0-74e900d67564">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]WTF?  What the hell is costing people over 1K as a BM?  Where are these women (the brides & MOH's) coming up with this stuff? ETA: Sorry, I'm just shocked.  I'm sorry for your sister!
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]
    I wonder this, too. My bridesmaids wore $60 dresses. I bought their shawls so they would have them in case it was chilly the morning of the wedding.  I have no idea if they bought new shoes and jewelry or wore stuff they already had. For my bachelorette party, everyone paid for my dinner, spa time, and some drinks. Nowhere NEAR a grand for this. Some brides just make a much bigger deal out of this one day and what they expect from their friends to be able to play in it, I guess. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:e03df16f-45fd-4001-baf0-74e900d67564">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]WTF?  What the hell is costing people over 1K as a BM?  Where are these women (the brides & MOH's) coming up with this stuff? ETA: Sorry, I'm just shocked.  I'm sorry for your sister!
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

    No I was shocked too, and I keep getting shocked when I see people posts those kinds of costs here.  It astounds me the kind of abuse that people will just quietly endure.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:ad95324d-3331-4944-8e04-46764bbb8fd3">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, the bride and groom got a cabin without consulting the bridal party, and told them "Tada, this is where you shall stay.  Cough up the cost of staying there.  Kaythxbye!"[/QUOTE]

    Ugh, that sucks!

    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places : I wonder this, too. My bridesmaids wore $60 dresses. I bought their shawls so they would have them in case it was chilly the morning of the wedding.  I have no idea if they bought new shoes and jewelry or wore stuff they already had. For my bachelorette party, everyone paid for my dinner, spa time, and some drinks. Nowhere NEAR a grand for this. Some brides just make a much bigger deal out of this one day and what they expect from their friends to be able to play in it, I guess. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Ooooh spa time- nice!

    Yeah, no of the weddings I have ever been in came close to costing me 1K, and I'm def not going to do that to my bridal party.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Anyone ever seen the movie, revenge of the bridesmaids?
    Horrible movie however I am running out of shows to watch on netflix so I watched it.
    This lady, that the previous poster is talking about, is the girl getting married on the move. "Catherine"
    She makes her bridesmaids stay at her mansion for 10 days leading up to the wedding. Puts raven-simone in work out classes, tells them what to say for a photographer/journalist coming in to document the wedding so she can make the front page. At the mansion they have curfews, dress fittings daily, etc, etc etc. PUKE!
    My bridesmaids just threw me an amazing bachelorette weekend at my fiances moms cabin that s on a resort. My bridesmaid who lives in Boston (the cabin is central minnesota) to suprise me. I in no way thought she would even be there, and in NO WAY expected her to come. I was so thankful and appreciative and I in no way dreamed of such an amazing weekend.
    How do brides have so much entitlement and are so insane that they demand these things?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:ad95324d-3331-4944-8e04-46764bbb8fd3">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places : I wonder this, too. My bridesmaids wore $60 dresses. I bought their shawls so they would have them in case it was chilly the morning of the wedding.  I have no idea if they bought new shoes and jewelry or wore stuff they already had. For my bachelorette party, everyone paid for my dinner, spa time, and some drinks. Nowhere NEAR a grand for this. Some brides just make a much bigger deal out of this one day and what they expect from their friends to be able to play in it, I guess. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    My family owns a bridal shop. Some women actually choose $400-600 dresses for their girls. They exist. And periodically, bridezilla gets a call from the shop because they can't place the order because the girls haven't put down their downpayment because they can't afford it and bridezilla goes off on my mother about it.

    I probably paid $400 to be in my best friend's wedding. I think my girls will be under $200.00 since im not having a shower
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:e5909f46-f019-46ea-8183-3f2ae1061dd1">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places : <strong> My family owns a bridal shop.</strong> Some women actually choose $400-600 dresses for their girls. They exist. And periodically, bridezilla gets a call from the shop because they can't place the order because the girls haven't put down their downpayment because they can't afford it and bridezilla goes off on my mother about it. I probably paid $400 to be in my best friend's wedding. I think my girls will be under $200.00 since im not having a shower
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    Oh bless your souls!  That could be trying at times, lol.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2013
    Has anyone watched "Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids" where the bride told the girls she expected them to wear $800 (not to mention NOT REWEARABLE) bridesmaid dresses and she was going to dictate how their hair would look? And that they should be honored to be in her party and if they wouldn't spend the money, they weren't welcome as bridesmaids?

    That is what I think of when I see stories like this. Your poor therapist.
  • My aunt and uncle own it. My mom's managed it for almost 30 years. She's the one who needs soul blessing lol.

    She has a lot of bridezillas, momzillas, bridesmaidzilas, fatherzillas.... but she also has a lot of great brides all around. She gets invited to A LOT of weddings.
  • I think a lot of people have this expectation on how weddings should be from shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and the bridesmaid versions. Honestly, some of the behavior I see on those shows is absolutey appalling... like "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" appalling. It's kind of sad actually.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re:Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places:[QUOTE]Anyone ever seen the movie, revenge of the bridesmaids? Horrible movie however I am running out of shows to watch on netflix so I watched it. This lady, that the previous poster is talking about, is the girl getting married on the move. "Catherine"She makes her bridesmaids stay at her mansion for 10 days leading up to the wedding. Puts ravensimone in work out classes, tells them what to say for a photographer/journalist coming in to document the wedding so she can make the front page. At the mansion they have curfews, dress fittings daily, etc, etc etc. PUKE! My bridesmaids just threw me an amazing bachelorette weekend at my fiances moms cabin that s on a resort. My bridesmaid who lives in Boston the cabin is central minnesota to suprise me. I in no way thought she would even be there, and in NO WAY expected her to come. I was so thankful and appreciative andnbsp;I in no way dreamed of such an amazing weekend. Hownbsp;do brides have so much entitlementnbsp;and are so insane that they demand these things? Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]

    Can I admit that I love that movie?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:0dcd53a1-ea00-47cd-b768-8aea7a0e4616">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think a lot of people have this expectation on how weddings should be from shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and the bridesmaid versions. Honestly, some of the behavior I see on those shows is absolutey appalling... like "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" appalling. It's kind of sad actually.
    Posted by yellowrose314[/QUOTE]

    I think 99% of all that is totally staged.  All reality TV shows since The Real World are staged.

    Now, I do loves me some David Tutera My Fair Wedding!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • OK, I didnt mind it either :)
    its pretty bad. But it made me giggle. and I am EASILY pleased :) but I am a huge sap a chic flic. ANd I love  boyfriend cop of the red head. SOOOO HOT!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:efd65ce7-98b6-457a-8299-16824702ab8c">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, I didnt mind it either :) its pretty bad. But it made me giggle. and I am EASILY pleased :) but I am a huge sap a chic flic. ANd I love  boyfriend cop of the red head. SOOOO HOT!
    Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]

    My youngest sister wants to watch this movie and a few other wedding movies (Bridesmaids, 27 Dresses, etc.) as my bachlorette party, lol.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:0dcd53a1-ea00-47cd-b768-8aea7a0e4616">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think a lot of people have this expectation on how weddings should be from shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and the bridesmaid versions. Honestly, some of the behavior I see on those shows is absolutey appalling... like "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" appalling. It's kind of sad actually.
    Posted by yellowrose314[/QUOTE]

    Haha!  You're my Knot crush for the day for using one of my favorite Futurama quotes!

    <img style="width:355px;height:218px;" class="mainImage" src="http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5031954526177265&pid=1.7" alt="" />
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • what's the show wehre they take the mother's ancient ugly dress and turn it into the bride's dream dress? While also showing her another dream dress that is new?

    That show keeps making me cry. I don't normally watch stuff like that but it makes me incredibly emotional and wishing that my mom still had her ancient ugly 70s borrowed dress.
    Not that it would remotely fit me. But I want to know what they'd make it into
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2013
    Not etiquette-related, but I got my hair cut a couple weeks ago and my hairdresser's FI is a lazy child who goes to school and works part-time but does zero around their apartment She works full-time and then comes home and has to do all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry while he lays on the couch. It's okay though, because he'll change once they have kids.

    I was damn near biting my tongue in half.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:7b7c9ac3-7308-4737-9793-a04afcda5908">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not etiquette-related, but I got my hair cut a couple weeks ago and my hairdresser's FI is a lazy child who goes to school and works part-time but does zero around their apartment She works full-time and then comes home and has to do all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry while he lays on the couch. It's okay though, because he'll change once they have kids. I was damn near biting my tongue in half.
    Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]
    Oh, geez. That kid will live there forever!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:08d64d29-b426-4252-ab29-b0e7730d9982">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places : Oh, geez. That kid will live there forever!
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    No, the FI <u>is</u> the lazy child. They don't have any kids yet.
  • I was in a wedding in St. Lucia right after college (aka when I was by far my poorest).  None of my costs were covered by the bride/bride's family.  I also co-hosted a shower and bachelorette party for her.  Bridezilla threw a fit when my co-hostess and I refused to pay for a chocolate fountain for the shower and a limo for her bachelorette party in addition to the gigantic costs we were already incurring.  Some chicks are just insane....
  • In Response to Re:Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places:[QUOTE]I was in a wedding in St. Lucia right after college aka when I was by far my poorest.nbsp; None of my costs were covered by the bride/bride's family.nbsp; I also cohosted a shower and bachelorette party for her.nbsp; Bridezilla threw a fit when my cohostess and I refused to pay for a chocolate fountain for the shower and a limo for her bachelorette party in addition to the gigantic costs we were already incurring.nbsp; Some chicks are just insane.... Posted by aabaum[/QUOTE]

    wtf? I would die of embarrasment if people spent so much unecessary money on me. My husband can't even spend more than 50 dollars on me without me getting flustered.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-conversations-in-the-strangest-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b4ada04-26a1-4a4d-b0c5-19e206ef616aPost:b6cbbcff-1840-45ad-94d1-89f8f5ea9ad9">Re: Etiquette Conversations in the Strangest Places</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't even understand how people have the nerve to ask for these things.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Right? Talk about a Bridezilla... I couldn't imagine asking anyone to drop over $1000 just to show up to my wedding. That physical therapist is a heck of a friend to put up with all that garbage.
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