Wedding Weekend Itinerary

GardenMaven

Basically our wedding weekend consists of a rehearsal followed by a rehearsal dinner that only includes those involved in the wedding, immediate family, and all SO's on Friday with our wedding and reception on Saturday.  (June 29th)  I have had a couple people who are not invited to the rehearsal dinner ask about the itinerary and I wasn't sure what to say.  Since it is so far out still I just told them I'd get back to them.  

Since then my mom has told me that some relatives have asked her for details as well.  Her initial reaction was to request that I put all the information on our website....  I told her I didn't think the rehearsal information was supposed to go up there since only some of the guests would be invited to that.  She then asked if she could just tell these one or two relatives what the schedule was for the weekend so they could move ahead with their planning.  I said that was fine.  Well tonight FI and I were CC'ed on a mass email that outlined our 'wedding party only' rehearsal dinner on Friday and our 'no gift openning' on Sunday.  Not to mention she requested in a P.S. section that some of the people forward the message on to people she didn't have emails for. 

I facepalmed.... Was this a bad thing to do?  I honestly don't know, but I felt embarrassed by it.    

Simply Fated

That was really sucky of her to do and definitely not her place to do.

What itinerary could these people possibly be asking for? "Wedding is on Saturday." Done.

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-weekend-itinerary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b7e454b-3c2b-4c4e-a206-f9a49be807b6Post:29e47233-04b9-4525-8d2a-964e1a5f2711">Re: Wedding Weekend Itinerary</a>:
[QUOTE]That was really sucky of her to do and definitely not her place to do. What itinerary could these people possibly be asking for? "Wedding is on Saturday." Done.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>I have some relatives that assume there will be all weekend activities and need to have everything planned out to the Nth degree.  We're talking bridal luncheon, rehearsal dinner, after dinner gathering, wedding, reception, Sunday brunch and gift opening, and possible golf outing in there somewhere.  (We don't even golf!)</div><div>
</div><div>But that is not FI and my style, and they know that.  But like I said, they like to have everything planned out to the Nth degree, so they just HAVE to know now.  That is only like two people though, so why it was necessary to send it to as many people as my mom did, I have no idea.  I thought she might send a group email that said Friday - 'Do your own thing'; Saturday - 'Wedding and Reception', because she had mentioned wanting to send an email and I told her not to announce the rehearsal dinner.  Or I should say asked her not to and said I didn't think that was "correct" etiquette wise.  Wish she would have sent me the email first to ask if it was OK.</div>

jessicabessica

I would be embarassed by that email, too, but it's done.  I think know you just need to tell people that the wedding is at x time on Saturday, and that's all you have planned for the weekend.  If you have a wedding website, you could put up a list of restaurants and attractions in the area to help your relatives with their planning if they need to do all that in advance.  

ETA: My suggestion about the wedding website assumes that people are coming in from out of town.  If they're all local, don't worry about it.

Summer2011Bride

Yeah your mom shouldn't have done that, but what's done is done.

On your website, I would just list when the ceremony and reception are and any other info you think they need (like hotels for OOT guests). Your lack of other listed activities should clue them in that there are none.

Jager1219

Your gut was right.  Mom was wrong & I have actually seen RD info on wedding websites before and I found that super tacky.  If I'm not invited, then I don't want to know about it.

AddieCake

On our website, we put up some info and pics of local attractions and said something like, "While you're here, you might enjoy....." to let people know we didn't have activities planned for them and that we were not expecting them to hang out with us beyond the wedding and after party.

lyndausvi

wow mom.  I would be embarrassed also


If mom wants plans with her family/friends why doesn't she make her own? My parents organized a golf outting for their friends (which was expanded to include DH and his friends).    The non-golfers got together and went shopping and to lunch.   It was more like "people expressed an interest in golfing so we arrange for some tee times at X place for X amount.  If you are interested please contact Dad".   Same with the shopping. 

renegade gaucho

What is a "no gift opening"?

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-weekend-itinerary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b7e454b-3c2b-4c4e-a206-f9a49be807b6Post:a716a9ad-4f4f-4f5a-9a8c-eae9775fb38f">Re: Wedding Weekend Itinerary</a>:
[QUOTE]What is a "no gift opening"?
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

Some social groups do gift openings after the wedding (or the next day).     Mine does not, however both my SILs (who lived in AZ, not sure if there is a connection) had them.   Can we say "awkward"?

gmcr78

Ugh, I'd kill my mom.  This might not be the exactly right thing to do, but in this case I'd probably make her send a 2nd email out to everyone saying something like "sorry,sent that first email in error, here's what you need to know (wedding is at x time) and here are some area attractions you may want to consider if you're in for the whole weekend". 
I sincerely hope you don't have extra people showing up at your rehearsal dinner, etc.

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-weekend-itinerary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b7e454b-3c2b-4c4e-a206-f9a49be807b6Post:2c8d179f-6262-4d30-9410-d25a385a2c5a">Re: Wedding Weekend Itinerary</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah your mom shouldn't have done that, but what's done is done. On your website, I would just list when the ceremony and reception are and any other info you think they need (like hotels for OOT guests). <strong>Your lack of other listed activities should clue them in that there are none.</strong>
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

<div>When my mom asked me about putting an itinerary on our website, I said basically said the itinerary would be blank beyond the wedding day, so what was the point.  I also told her that "none" was an acceptable answer to the, "What activity is planned on x day?"  My sister who is also MOH knew right away that I had not approved the email.  I sent her a message that said, "I kinda want to kill mom."  I guess it's good that my mom is over 900 miles away!  ;-)</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks for all the responses.  I was pretty sure she was in the wrong.  I think sometimes she feels she NEEDS to give information so people know what is going on.  She over shares.  One of her flaws.  I thought I had nipped this one in the butt by explaining more than once that the information should not be common knowledge and I personally did not want everyone to know, but I guess not. </div>

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-weekend-itinerary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b7e454b-3c2b-4c4e-a206-f9a49be807b6Post:009e7dd4-f854-49c3-979a-ad7371087fa7">Re: Wedding Weekend Itinerary</a>:
[QUOTE]wow mom.  I would be embarrassed also <strong>If mom wants plans with her family/friends</strong> why doesn't she make her own? My parents organized a golf outting for their friends (which was expanded to include DH and his friends).    The non-golfers got together and went shopping and to lunch.   It was more like "people expressed an interest in golfing so we arrange for some tee times at X place for X amount.  If you are interested please contact Dad".   Same with the shopping. 
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not my mom that wants to make plans.  I have an Aunt and an adult Cousin who are super anal about getting things lined up way ahead of time and they need to know what event is happening on what day and at what time, like yesterday.  They are mother and son if you couldn't tell.  Neither of my parents golf either.  </div>