People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees...

cac7777

Help! I've got a few guests who just received their STDs, and they don't seem to get that not everyone in my circle of interaction received them. Last week, a friend of mine excitedly ran up to me in a group social situation and exclaimed, "I got your invitation!" (it was actually just an STD), totally oblivious to the fact that another non-invited friend of mine was standing right there when she said it. After seeing the non-invited friend's hurt face, I felt so bad that I added her to our guest list and hoped she'd just think her STD came late. Since then, the same scenario has happened about 4 times in the last two weeks. I can't keep adding people to the guest list just because I feel like a horrible human being for not having invited them! Help! Didn't these people's mothers ever teach them that you're not supposed to broadcast that kind of stuff in public?

Short of allowing my guest list to get completely out of control, are there any suggestions for avoiding those kinds of awkward moments? 

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-broadcast-their-invite-non-invitees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bae5385-b679-41cd-9d4a-6e1de601f102Post:89673595-9d1b-45ca-b424-cb9fe0ce8c8a">People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees...</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! I've got a few guests who just received their STDs, and they don't seem to get that not everyone in my circle of interaction received them. Last week, a friend of mine excitedly ran up to me in a group social situation and exclaimed, "I got your invitation!" (it was actually just an STD), totally oblivious to the fact that another non-invited friend of mine was standing right there when she said it. After seeing the non-invited friend's hurt face, I felt so bad that I added her to our guest list and hoped she'd just think her STD came late. Since then, the same scenario has happened about 4 times in the last two weeks. I can't keep adding people to the guest list just because I feel like a horrible human being for not having invited them! Help! Didn't these people's mothers ever teach them that you're not supposed to broadcast that kind of stuff in public? Short of allowing my guest list to get completely out of control, are there any suggestions for avoiding those kinds of awkward moments? 
Posted by cac7777[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Invite your friends?  I don't know, I think it's really odd to treat invites like they're worthy of a top secret clearance. 

</div>

aragx6

I say this as nicely as possible, but you're going to have to grow some balls. Most people understand that weddings are expensive and you can't invite everyone.

Invite those you want to invite, and if you get propositioned by someone not invited, just tell them that unfortunately due to budget and/or space constraints you weren't able to invite everyone you would have liked to.

You'll probably have other times come up during the planning process where you'll have to be "the bad guy"

LoveMuffins

I probably would've just said, "Thanks for letting me know, but since I was not able to invite everyone I would've liked to, I don't really want the wedding to be a conversation topic" and then hope that word will get around.

cac7777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-broadcast-their-invite-non-invitees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bae5385-b679-41cd-9d4a-6e1de601f102Post:0d28ea47-9f08-4330-9d6a-dfc321779bbc">Re: People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees...</a>:
[QUOTE]I say this as nicely as possible, but you're going to have to grow some balls. Most people understand that weddings are expensive and you can't invite everyone. Invite those you want to invite, and if you get propositioned by someone not invited, just tell them that unfortunately due to budget and/or space constraints you weren't able to invite everyone you would have liked to. You'll probably have other times come up during the planning process where you'll have to be "the bad guy"
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
 <div>Yes, I was afraid of this... *sigh*. Do they sell "Miracle Ball-Gro" in the taffeta ghetto section of Hobby Lobby? </div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-broadcast-their-invite-non-invitees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bae5385-b679-41cd-9d4a-6e1de601f102Post:60876cf1-10d7-4b5f-9afb-787f0b47231e">Re: People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees... : Invite your friends?  I don't know, I think it's really odd to treat invites like they're worthy of a top secret clearance. 
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

Seriously? Isn't that, like, the number one thing you learn in 1st/2nd grade? Not to broadcast who ISN'T invited? Which is why so many schools have rules about inviting the whole class (or all the boys or all the girls) to birthday parties when kids are younger? Because young children don't yet know this rule and therefore tend to broadcast these things?

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-broadcast-their-invite-non-invitees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bae5385-b679-41cd-9d4a-6e1de601f102Post:13c04d82-9bf7-4211-8bd2-8628e9cd9ae4">Re: People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People who broadcast their invite to non-invitees... :   Yes, I was afraid of this... *sigh*. Do they sell "Miracle Ball-Gro" in the taffeta ghetto section of Hobby Lobby? 
Posted by cac7777[/QUOTE]

Here's hoping haha!

Best of luck -- I know you'll be fine! Since you've already sent out STDs I'm sure this issue will die down shortly!

ellen82

You cant control people's reactions and unfortunatley it will happen if you invite some people in a social group and not another.

I do hear you...my fiancee's friends will ACTUALLY go around a group for a wedding or party and say: are YOU invited, are YOU invited, etc AND then they invite everyone out and PLAN the wedding/party plans (who rides with who, who buys what, what are they wearing) in front of people THEY invited out but are NOT invited to the wedding. Pretty rude in my books!!