What's the age limit on inviting kids?

tjah

So after much humming and hoing, the fiance and I have decided we will have kids at the reception, because we both have family with long drives (5-8 hours) and little ones (age ranges <1-6) that likely wouldn't be able attend otherwise. This is cousins and close friends.

BUT, we are also inviting a few people that my parents have been friends with for years. A few of them, I've met their kids many times, a few maybe once or twice, a few others, not at all. These "kids" are in the age ranges of 12-21+.

So I know the stipulation, if you let some people bring their kids you have to let them all. But where is the cut off? I was thinking the ones young enough to sit at the kids table qualify but I don't know if this would still be considered rude or something.

I was also thinking just addressing to so 'n so and family (even though if they're above 18 they're supposed to get their own invite) and if they barely know me, they probably won't feel like giving up their saturday night. But I still don't know if this is quite the "right" way to do it...

LeiselEB

It's not at all true that if you invite some kids you have to invite all. It's nice to invite kids in circles - as in, if you invite these cousins, invite the other cousins as well. But by no means do you need to invite everyone's kids. 

Invite the kids that you want to be there, and don't split up families. 

I wouldn't do "Smith Family" for invitations. It's ambiguous - stick to listing exactly who is invited:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Sally and Bobby

The above is if kids are under 18. Kids over 18, even if living with their parents, need a separate invitation. 

Hope that helps!

DramaGeek

You could invite in circles - Kids of family only, etc.

The problem with picking an arbitrary cutoff is it may well split families, and I'd hate to have to explain to little Sally why she can't go to the wedding but Bobby and Billy can, you know?

tjah

Thanks, this is helpful.
We were wanting to keep it to kids of family and close friends, and the ones that were causing me the confusion was the kids of friends of my parents.

Judell789

I say do what you want because it's your wedding!!! This is YOUR day and the women here have proven themselves as a special breed of uptight bittie.

Judell789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-age-limit-on-inviting-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8d7941dc-b20c-4b4e-89ed-5a85e58d294cPost:1ff90865-cafc-4a43-a529-4c987c1e7016">Re: What's the age limit on inviting kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What's the age limit on inviting kids? : Actually you've proven yourself as a condescending brat who isn't concerned in the slightest about the comfort of your guests, but thanks for playing. 
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]



Have you heard about what happened to the old lady who played what she thought was a game of monopoly only to be robbed of all her hats?

You really don't want to fall down that hole.

Judell789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-age-limit-on-inviting-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8d7941dc-b20c-4b4e-89ed-5a85e58d294cPost:17444ea3-0981-43bd-b56a-4cc3789e7c6f">Re: What's the age limit on inviting kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What's the age limit on inviting kids? : Into the wine already, I see. 
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]



HoorayForWine!

rachelm13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-age-limit-on-inviting-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8d7941dc-b20c-4b4e-89ed-5a85e58d294cPost:f523cd88-4864-48a8-ada0-b5e8516d424b">Re: What's the age limit on inviting kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I say do what you want because it's your wedding!!! This is YOUR day and the women here have proven themselves as a special breed of uptight bittie.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Who says uptight bittie anymore?  Honestly?  You really are a twuntwaffle. 

OP, please do not listen to this poster.  Hoorayforsoup and many others on this board are very helpful and many have already been there and done that.  Judell, is BSC and frankly has the least class of anyone on these boards.

Good luck with everything!

Hooray: Can we ban Judell yet?

j-harvey

You can invite only some kids. It's best if you don't split up siblings, if you invite in circles, if the delineations are obvious/understandable to reasonable people. Some parents won't be reasonable, so just be prepared. In my experience, those who expect their child to be the center of your world do not supervise their child either

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-the-age-limit-on-inviting-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8d7941dc-b20c-4b4e-89ed-5a85e58d294cPost:b5613417-81ff-450c-8980-2202811bb820">What's the age limit on inviting kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]So after much humming and hoing, the fiance and I have decided we will have kids at the reception, because we both have family with long drives (5-8 hours) and little ones (age ranges <1-6) that likely wouldn't be able attend otherwise. This is cousins and close friends. BUT, we are also inviting a few people that my parents have been friends with for years. A few of them, I've met their kids many times, a few maybe once or twice, a few others, not at all. These "kids" are in the age ranges of 12-21+. So I know the stipulation, if you let some people bring their kids you have to let them all. But where is the cut off? I was thinking the ones young enough to sit at the kids table qualify but I don't know if this would still be considered rude or something. I was also thinking just addressing to so 'n so and family (even though if they're above 18 they're supposed to get their own invite) and if they barely know me, they probably won't feel like giving up their saturday night. But I still don't know if this is quite the "right" way to do it...
Posted by tjah[/QUOTE]


Hemming and hawing, FYI, not humming and hoing.

Jen4948

I don't think you have to invite every single kid.  Certainly it makes sense and is a kindness to keep families together, but it is reasonable to establish some sort of cut-off, e.g. family members only, above 10 only, etc.

If it turns out parents of uninvited children don't want to attend without them, they may well decline the invitation or ask you about bringing them, but you don't have to give in if you don't feel that you can accommodate them.