do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes

TheShadyYvonne

just curious..as so far..none of our groomsmen have mentioned anything...the 2 bridesmaids...acutally offered to pay for their own and it worked out really well.  the two bridesmen on my side..havent said anything about their tuxes..so im curious what others have done. or what the norm is

thoughts?

Summer2011Bride

It's pretty typical for the men to pay for their own attire too. I would have FI ask each their budget privately, just like you do with your BMs.

LeiselEB

The wedding party typically pays for their own attire. 

hwoychowski

The default is the wedding party pays for their own. The exception is when you offer.

TheShadyYvonne

ok..lol. yeah... no one has said anything nor do i know how to approach.  the two bridesmen..i was in both of their weddings...and they offered to pay for my dress to be in their wedding.  now that im getting married...i tihnk they just assumed it would be the same. i actually never said anything to the two bridesmaids..they just said..im going to pay for my own dress before we ever started looking long ago.

in anycase...we have list 15 tuxes...and...it would be so nice if they covered their own costs.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-groomsmen-normally-pay-for-their-own-tuxes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ff7fba8-1c74-4957-9793-947fda16bd64Post:2ad67e7a-b6e6-4a50-b271-e1b2685dfd28">Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes</a>:
[QUOTE]:| ok..lol. yeah... no one has said anything nor do i know how to approach.  the two bridesmen..i was in both of their weddings...and they offered to pay for my dress to be in their wedding.  now that im getting married...i tihnk they just assumed it would be the same. i actually never said anything to the two bridesmaids..they just said..im going to pay for my own dress before we ever started looking long ago. in anycase...<strong>we have list 15 tuxes...and...it would be so nice if they covered their own costs.</strong>
Posted by TheShadyYvonne[/QUOTE]

<div>Woah, 15 tuxes???</div>

Matty143

Typically, they pay for themselves however, if they each paid for your dress, I can see how they might think you would continue that.

We did pay for the tux rentals for the groomsmen, ring bearers and our fathers. My H just thought it would be nice.

Good luck.

ETA: We had 10, so I can see how it adds up.

TheShadyYvonne

yeah...15... 4 groomsmen...2 bridesmen... the groom..4 ushers..and 2 dads and 2 grandfathers... the dad's and grandfathers asked to wear tuxess...but have yet to offer up paying for them..*sigh* :-(

the groom thinks my two bridesmen aren't expecting to pay for their tuxes since they covered the cost of my dress in each of their weddings. 

TheShadyYvonne

ok..sounds like there's not really a good way around it.  if people offer to help with their costs..then we'll gladly accept..if not..i guess we're stuck with the costs

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-groomsmen-normally-pay-for-their-own-tuxes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ff7fba8-1c74-4957-9793-947fda16bd64Post:e8a8d964-e5e0-4152-ab24-c8f3ef35b4d1">Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes</a>:
[QUOTE]ok<strong>..sounds like there's not really a good way around it.</strong>  if people offer to help with their costs..then we'll gladly accept..if not..i guess we're stuck with the costs
Posted by TheShadyYvonne[/QUOTE]

FI could say something to them like, "The tuxes we were thining of ordering are X amount of dollars. How do you feel about that price?" to each of them individually. Then he is showing concern for their budget and it gets the point across that they are each paying for their own. Or he could just ask each guy, "What is your budget for a tux?"

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-groomsmen-normally-pay-for-their-own-tuxes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ff7fba8-1c74-4957-9793-947fda16bd64Post:da7902ca-9bb8-49ff-8866-84e6a6d9e21c">Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes : You aren't stuck with the costs.  After you have asked their budget, you find (or your FI) a tux rental that is in that budget.  Let them know they have until x date to order and pay for their tux.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>This. You are not required to pay for your WP attire. </div><div>
</div><div>Now, if you require your girls to wear a specific shoe or get their hair done professionally you DO have to pay for it. </div><div>
</div><div>Just because some of them paid for your dress does not mean you need to pay for theirs. If it's not in the budget it's not in the budget. If they are good friends, they'll understand.</div>

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-groomsmen-normally-pay-for-their-own-tuxes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ff7fba8-1c74-4957-9793-947fda16bd64Post:69993266-6c52-4558-930f-f68cdc5d4a07">Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes : FI could say something to them like, "The tuxes we were thining of ordering are X amount of dollars. How do you feel about that price?" to each of them individually. Then he is showing concern for their budget and it gets the point across that they are each paying for their own. Or he could just ask each guy, "What is your budget for a tux?"
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]



I'm confused. Why would the groom have to ask the bridesmen of their budgets?

I say if they are standing up for the bride then she needs to have this convo with the men.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-groomsmen-normally-pay-for-their-own-tuxes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ff7fba8-1c74-4957-9793-947fda16bd64Post:90b5d21f-d881-46bf-9729-cfcc95d0d5b8">Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: do groomsmen normally pay for their own tuxes : I'm confused. Why would the groom have to ask the bridesmen of their budgets? I say if they are standing up for the bride then she needs to have this convo with the men.
Posted by MrsL2014[/QUOTE]

The majority of the men are not bridesmen; that's who I was referring to. Out of 15 tuxes, only two will be for bridesmen. So yes, she should talk to the bridesmen, but it's fine for FI to talk to the rest.

ETA: And honestly, if FI is friends with the bridesmen as well and he is the one researching tuxes, I don't see an issue with him asking them either.

TheShadyYvonne

I'll suggest that he say we're looking at X tux..does that fit into your budjet.

becky659

We personally asked about price before looking at suits, that way we didn't make my H's (one) groomsman feel that he needed to pony up an amount that he wouldn't have been comfortable with to begin with.

We found my H's suit, knowing that we wanted the groomsman to coordinate.  We knew sizing would be an issue since they were small vs x-large.  We took H's suit with us until we found a combination we all liked that was reasonably priced.
He paid for the suit and vest, but we wanted a specific color shirt and matching ties for them, so we bought his shirt and tie.

Loopyseven

Yup, it's pretty typical for all WP members to pay for their own attire (dresses/tuxes anyway).  If you are going to require specific matching shoes/accessories for the bridesmaids, you should provide those.  Same with hair/make up - if you make having hair/make up done for the wedding mandatory you should pay for it.