I am the baby-sitter...need advice!!

MooChaAmor

Hi Everyone!

I am the baby-sitter for the couple's 6 month old baby.  I have to watch the child starting at the hotel (2pm) while the Bride & BMs are getting ready, at the ceremony, during the reception, and then I have to take him back to the hotel to wait until the MOB & FOB get back after the reception ends.  I've been told that hopefully they will return by 1AM.  (Pretty annoying as Easter is the next day and it's my and hubby's first married Easter.  Yes, we have done something special for each "first" holiday because hopefully for the next ones, we will have kiddos in tow.)

Now, I am the regular sitter, but this is my last week (April 25-April 29), as my hubby and I are moving out-of-state.  The Bride is nice enough (after I prompted)  to allow my hubby to tag along, since I will not know a single person there.

Now to the questions: 

She hasn't even told me the plan yet and we live in a major city where parking is rediculous.  She has told me that she is expecting me to pay for all the valet-ing/parking fees (i.e. hotel to wedding and back to hotel again).  Yes, I will be charged upwards of $50 three times.  Is that right?  Shouldn't she pay? 

Also, since I am part of the "hired help", do I still need to bring a gift?  If so, should it be elaborate or should I keep it small, like a small gesture?

Thanks all.  Please keep your words kind, but be honest

Snippylynn

You should definitely be charging her for the parking fee's.  That's ridiculous (note the spelling there OP.  That's the correct one).

As for the gift-- no.  You don't have to give one.  No one ever has to give one, tbh.  If you want, you can give her a nice card, but that should be the extent of it.

tenofcups4me

If you have a nice relationship, I'd probably get them a token gift.

And I'd insist on the parking being paid by her. I'd have to imagine most or all of your fee would go to parking, which is ridiculous. If that's not agreeable to her, you can always tell her you can't work the wedding. Though it's unclear to me when this wedding is -- if it's this week, it wouldn't be right for you to tell her you can't work it on such short notice.

Mrs.B6302007

A gift is up to you and your H.  If you can afford it, fine.  If not, it isn't a must.

She should be covering all of your parking.  You're going to end  up working for almost free, otherwise.

JanoBean75

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-baby-sitterneed-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90411ff5-f8ae-4670-9834-8c50df707e77Post:59edde44-bc8f-4655-ba90-8b25b8336ae1">Re: I am the baby-sitter...need advice!!</a>:
[QUOTE]A gift is up to you and your H.  If you can afford it, fine.  If not, it isn't a must. She should be covering all of your parking.  <strong>You're going to end  up working for almost free, otherwise.</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

This is what I was thinking. It's ridiculous of her to expect you to pay that when you're carting her kid back and forth.

beckys67

I think you should find out exactly what your out of pocket expenses are going to be. This is a business contract. I think it was nice of her to offer your husband to go but I don't think you should have prompted her. You may have just changed the "contract" in her eyes. I also think it depends on how much she is paying you. You should go over all of this with her. Business is business and this should have all be discussed way before now. 
 

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-baby-sitterneed-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90411ff5-f8ae-4670-9834-8c50df707e77Post:daf98593-d7b6-4f42-ae08-f9fc77d4ea2e">Re: I am the baby-sitter...need advice!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should find out exactly what your out of pocket expenses are going to be. This is a business contract. I think it was nice of her to offer your husband to go but I don't think you should have prompted her. You may have just changed the "contract" in her eyes. I also think it depends on how much she is paying you. You should go over all of this with her. Business is business and this should have all be discussed way before now.   
Posted by beckys67[/QUOTE]

It sounds like it was discussed before hand.  The bride told her to pay out of pocket for parking.  I'm under the impression that OP is just wanting to know if it was wrong for bride to expect that. If she wants to renogotiate with her, that's fine but I don't think that's what she's asking if she should do.

I don't think there was anything wrong with OP asking if her H could come along.  They're not going to the reception or anything.

redheadfsu

The way I read it  you are going to the ceremony & reception? with your husband?
If so, then you are not really hired help (you would be if your husband wasn't there. But since he is going to be there you changed it so you are more of a guest helping out). I think you should bring a very small gift/card. I think the bride should pay for some of your parking expenses, but you should have asked that before you asked for your husband to be a guest.

Mrs.B6302007

Yeah, I think there was a reading fail on my part.  =-)

Avion22

I can understand her wanting you to pay, but she should reimburse you for whatever you spend on parking, valet, etc.  I'm not sure where you are, but $150 sounds like a lot of money to park at a hotel, then a wedding site.  

You need to talk to her more about this. 

beckys67

From the way I read it it says she is watching the child while they get ready for the wedding, at the ceremony, and the reception. She also stated that she does not know anyone there and that was why she prompted the bride the let her husband go with her. If that is the case then the bride is also taking on extra expenses. She is paying for the babysitter's husband to be there. He is not watching the child she is. It also sounds like she was unaware of her actual expense for parking. I don't think she should have to pay for her parking but I also think it was in bad taste to prompt the bride.

Mrs.B6302007

"during the reception" is what confused me. My first thought was that it means while everyone else is at the reception, but it certainly can mean at the reception, too.

ETA: I also thought this because what's an infant going to do at the reception?  I figured she would take him back to the hotel to sleep.

redheadfsu

Yeah, Mrs. B I'm not entirely sure either.

Mrs.B6302007

Becky - if they are indeed attending the reception, then yes, it was in poor taste for her to ask that her husband could attend.

andy71781

I think it meant for a bit during the reception and then to take the kid back to the hotel until the B&G come back. 

OP - I think she needs to pay for your parking.

Milsey32

If you're paying for parking (which you shouldn't be) than don't bother with a gift

GeauxTigers17

Why does a 6 month old need to be at a wedding? Why not just keep the baby at the hotel the entire time and save the parking fees?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Dude, my BMs charged their parking to my room at the hotel. Seriously. And that was like $14/day. I wouldn't pay that out of pocket.

As for the gift, it really depends. When I was a nanny I would get gifts for the children. A small gift might be nice if you like your employers (and want a reference) but gifts are never mandatory.

LemonMeringue

This is off topic but if the wedding is in downtown Chicago then you should be able to find parking that is cheaper than $50 for a few hours on the weekend.  If she's not paying for it then she can't really tell you where to park, or that you have to use the valet. And she doesn't even need to know where you park, if you show up a few minutes late then just say you got stuck behind a bus or something. 

DeadUtopia

As a parent, I would never expect my sitter to pay for parking (even if it's the .50 meter at the park) if she's only there because I'm paying her to be. On the other hand, if she is footing the bill for both you (and now your husband) to be guests at her reception, then her costs might be well over what yours are to pay parking. But if you will only be attending the ceremony, then she should definitely be paying the parking charges especially if you will be sitting in someone else's hotel room with a 6 month old baby for 5+ hours. That being said, I think a small gift would be fine and appropriate. Like a PP said, something inexpensive off of their registry or a restaurant giftcard along with a nice card. I'm obviously not familiar with your city, but like another PP said also, look for different parking options. It doesn't matter if you're a few minutes late because you had to walk a block or so.