Is a shower appropriate in this case?

Fayta2Be

After much back and forth on guest list size and venue, I think my fiance and I have decided that we are going to have immediate family and a small bridal party only for our ceremony and then go to a restaurant after to celebrate. My mom would like to have a casual get together a few weeks later at her house for all of our relatives (we have a huge family).

I know that my MOH and my mom would really like to have a shower for me. But I'm not sure if in this case it is appropriate since most of the women invited would not be guests at our private wedding. Thoughts?

jessicabessica

No, you shouldn't invite people who aren't invited to the wedding to a shower.  The casual get together sounds nice, but it's not the wedding, so people that are only invited to that should not be invited to a shower.  You could have a small shower with those invited to the wedding--sounds like bridal party and immediate family.  Good luck!

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Is a shower appropriate in this case?:[QUOTE]After much back and forth on guest list size and venue, I think my fiance and I have decided that we are going to have immediate family and a small bridal party only for our ceremony and then go to a restaurant after to celebrate. My mom would like to have a casual get together a few weeks later at her house for all of our relatives we have a huge family.I know that my MOH and my mom would really like to have a shower for me. But I'm not sure if in this case it is appropriate since most of the women invited would not be guests at our private wedding. Thoughts? Posted by Fayta2Be[/QUOTE]

Anyone invited to a shower must be invited to the ceremony. Unfortunately, when choosing to be married privately, you are also choosing, for the most part, to forego any prewedding festivities such as showers, bach parties, etc. In this instance, a shower would be inappropriate.

Loopyseven

Sorry.  I wouldn't have a shower.  Anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.

Viczaesar

No, it's not appropriate.

achiduck

Only if the shower guests are all invited to the wedding.

Jen4948

Only persons invited to the ceremony should be invited to the shower.

A post-wedding celebration with these other women would be okay, but make sure it isn't a "shower."

ThankfulSnail

You could have a very small shower. A couple of my stepmom's friends hosted a shower for me, but the hostess had a very small home, so it was only a shower of 8 people. It was a great time and very intimate. However, if you wanted a larger shower, you're unfortunately out of luck, as all guests invited to the prewedding parties need ot be invited to the wedding, otherwise it's like saying they're good enough to give you a gift but not good enough to see you get married/have dinner with you.

vanityink

Yeah, personally I'm ok with having a bigger bachelorette party if it's just going out for the night (nothing big and expecting people to pay/bring you things) but a shower is quite literally a "give me gifts" party. If you aren't going to invite the people to your wedding/provide them with some sort of reception where you're *thanking* them for taking their time and money to celebrate you it's rude to invite them to something where they're expected to buy you things.