XP: Help planning a NWR event

fallbride1109

Hi, I know I don't post here much but I figured you guys would have great suggestions.

I am wanting to throw a graduation party for a dear friend of mine at a local restaurant.  They have a room we can rent for $150 that holds 100.  We want to just open this up to our friends and say generally "Here is where it is, this is how much it costs per person, no gifts, hope you can come, etc."  We estimate we'll have a minimum of 50 up to 75+ or so.

My question is--what is the best way to handle the payment?  The restaurant will only give us one final bill--therefore, I have to cover it and then have people pay me.  Has anyone done anything like this before or have any suggestions?  Also, what is the best way to word the invitation?  TIA.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-planning-nwr-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90970167-cb07-4321-a491-9eade073e998Post:a1472b52-81b1-42b5-93f8-1fc822a52706">Re: XP: Help planning a NWR event</a>:
[QUOTE] Every grad party I've ever been to was an open house where the venue and food buffet were covered by the host.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

Me too, and I was going to say this as well.  Obviously I think it would be better if the cost were covered for all of the guests.  Otherwise, you aren't really throwing or hosting anything, you're just getting a HUGE group of people together for dinner.

jasmineh7777

I think it would be really difficult for you to collect money. How will you know who ordered what? How will you make sure they pay?
Could you just host appetizers? If you just want a lot of space, could you rent a hall and then do the food yourself?

fallbride1109

Well, I thought of just hosting it myself.  But there are so many people we'd like to have there, I can't accommodate all of them.  It's an adult graduating from seminary school--not a high school student--if that makes a difference.  But maybe it doesn't.  So we were wanting to open it up to our church members, her book club, other organizations she is involved in, clergy, etc.  I guess our idea is, we want everyone to come and wish her well, have dinner, etc. but it's too many to accommodate if we open it up to everyone.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-planning-nwr-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90970167-cb07-4321-a491-9eade073e998Post:a48ed5ff-b9c1-4dcb-b64a-aba741989c94">Re: XP: Help planning a NWR event</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I thought of just hosting it myself.  But there are so many people we'd like to have there, I can't accommodate all of them.  It's an adult graduating from seminary school--not a high school student--if that makes a difference.  But maybe it doesn't.  So we were wanting to open it up to our church members, her book club, other organizations she is involved in, clergy, etc.  I guess our idea is, we want everyone to come and wish her well, have dinner, etc. but it's too many to accommodate if we open it up to everyone.
Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

I think the only way you could realistically do that is to send out actual invitations and have people send back their payment with their RSVP.  There's no way  you could handle trying to take people's money at the actual restaurant.  If you just did a set amount per person, and have the restaurant make up special menus with no prices on them, it should work.

For example, if most entrees are about $12, charge each person $15 to cover whatever they order plus tip.  Just a nice rounded off amount like that.

fallbride1109

Yeah Dani, that's what my friend said that is doing it with me.  We'll just have to say $25 pp or whatever round number we come up with.  And we would choose the buffet option they have.  I'm not sure how etiquettely correct any of this is!  I got the idea because a friend did this for her 40th B-day.  Her husband just did an invite that said the party would be here, stop by if you can, etc.  Of course we would insist on firm RSVPs.  I may need to rethink it though.

danieliza1127

Well, I don't know about the etiquette of it.  I mean, for a wedding, hell no.  But for a birthday party, graduation party, retirement party, etc I think there is more grey area you can work with.

squirrly

When I do the volleyball banquet, I guess the number of people, get a catering quote, subtract what I have saved to cover teammembers, and divide the rest by the number of non-athletes I expect to attend.  Then we sell tickets at home games in advance for that price.  I adjust the numbers with the caterer at the last minute.  If we come out ahead - ok.  If not - ok.  It balances with the concession stand in the end.  In your case, I'd say err on the higher side, and if it's too much - give the graduate a GC with the difference.

BUT - I think this will be terribly difficult to manage without something like the ballgames where I sell tickets.  I guess you could do an evite & paypal or something.  But, remember paypal keeps a % so you'll need to round up to account for that.

Maybe try different restaurants.  Many will do parties with individual checks.  I waited tables at one.  Drove me nuts, but it worked for the guests.

fallbride1109

Thanks for everyone's input.  We'll think about it a bit more I guess.