is tipping needed?

catwine

tipping is not included in my contracts and none of the vendors mentioned it.  I feel its a little unnessacary but it it right to tip?

s-aries8990

From what I've read on the e-boards, if the person who attends to you the day-of is  the owner of the business, etiquette rules you do not have to tip. That being said, if a gratuity is not mentioned in your contracts and you recieve very good service, I suggest you do tip- Especially your cateror/ food vendor so that the serving staff is able to be tipped. I come from a household where a 20% tip on almost everything was ingrained in me as obligatory- less if the service is particularly bad, more if its good.

Set tip money aside for the day of and tip afterwards based on how you feel they performed their service. If the hairdresser is a pain to work with- leave a minimal tip, but if she's great leave a sufficient one. If the serving staff are completely lackluster leave minimal, but if they are awesome, leave more. Many of the employees of vendors are paid less with the expectation that the employee will be tipped by whomever they are serving.

Edited: corrections because I'm a little off my game

Ali092011

This (click) is a pretty helpful guide regarding who to tip and how much, but it does depend on a few things. For example, technically you are not required to tip the owner of a business because they do not pay to work out of someone's office or salon.

Being able to tip was important to H and me, so we made sure to work tips into our budget. Some people will tell you tipping is critical and non-negotiable, while others will say it's completely optional and not at all required. Many brides tip no matter what, while others only tip in the case of above-and-beyond, over-the-top service. The only vendors I did not tip were the florist (she's a family acquaintance and with the dynamics of the friendship, it would have been awkward to tip) and the officiant (she was a run-of-the-mill JP who set her own fee and we didn't meet with her at all prior to the ceremony so we didn't think it was necessary). Other than that, we tipped everyone, whether they owned the business/worked independently or not. We doled out the tips prior to the wedding day and had them in envelopes ready to go, but I am glad we tipped what we did because we DID end up getting exceptional service from our vendors.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:d07f10f4-44d9-4fdd-873e-1e8514b9fec4">Re:is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:is tipping needed?: You have it backwards. Etiquette states that you don't need to tip if it IS the business owner.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Oops, you're right. My body decided it needed to wake up 3 hours earlier than it normally does so I've been off all day.

LDubHawksFan

I guess I don't get why you think it is unnecessary.  I get that it's tough to think about shelling out more money after most of these vendors are taking a huge chunk of change, but if it were any other day, would you not tip someone doing services for you?  A waiter at a restaurant?  Your hairdresser after a cut?

Maggie0829

Tipping is always voluntary for everything including waiters and hair dressers and the like.

For our wedding we weren't allowed to tip any of our venues staff (it was in the contract) and we did not tip the photographer, DJ, florist, baker, etc.  I also didn't tip my hair and makeup person because they were friends of my BM and were doing the work on the side so the full payment went into their pocket instead of having to give a portion of it to the salon.

With tipping I feel that it is a good thing if the person you hired went above and beyond your expectations or what was listed in the contract.  You have to remember that you are already paying them for their services but if they provide you with what you feel is outstanding services or included extras at no charge then I would tip them.  None of my vendors did that so I didn't feel a tip was necessary.

catwine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:55c33a2d-bdca-4e36-a14d-3dd7d1761d4d">Re: is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I don't get why you think it is unnecessary.  I get that it's tough to think about shelling out more money after most of these vendors are taking a huge chunk of change, but if it were any other day, would you not tip someone doing services for you?  A waiter at a restaurant?  Your hairdresser after a cut?
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

I will always tip my stylist.  same with servers, but I wasn't sure if they get paid a decent amount by the venue.  I'm not tipping my DJ, photographers, florist or pastor.

banana468

Isn't this the same person who thinks it isn't necessary to invite Dad's long term significant other? I'm thinking that etiquette book is a better and better idea.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In the US, tipping is a part of our culture. So yeah. The amount is somewhat to your discretion (I had a vendor mess up pretty badly and did not tip that person), but it's expected in general. You wouldn't go to a sit down restaurant assuming you didn't have to tip at all.

Cortney1982

Gratuity was not mentioned in our catering contract.  We did not pay any tip.  The food was a huge dissapointment.  Just gross.  There were very few things that turned out edible.

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:d00f7274-498c-4d11-be82-707b81d28f0a">Re: is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]Gratuity was not mentioned in our catering contract.  We did not pay any tip.  The food was a huge dissapointment.  Just gross.  There were very few things that turned out edible.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

<div>Assuming we're in the same Portland (I'm on the left coast), can I ask who your caterer was?  I'm just curious.  You can PM me if you're uncomfortable putting it out there for all to see.</div>

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:746fb1b1-b184-4dea-94e1-e67f480a6171">Re:is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't this the same person who thinks it isn't necessary to invite Dad's long term significant other? I'm thinking that etiquette book is a better and better idea.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
My memory of her is of her asking if she actually needs to have a rehearsal dinner after her rehearsal.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:d00f7274-498c-4d11-be82-707b81d28f0a">Re: is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]Gratuity was not mentioned in our catering contract.  We did not pay any tip.  The food was a huge dissapointment.  Just gross.  There were very few things that turned out edible.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

<div>  I get not tipping for bad servcie, but I don't get not tipping for bad food (assuming the server didn't ordered correctl, but that goes to service in my book).</div><div>
</div><div>::shurgs::</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>*** I'm talking about in general, not about the situation with regards to your wedding.</div>

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-tipping-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90e66fd6-a367-40f3-a8b7-7d422f42885fPost:da94353c-b329-498a-afda-87b8d68b472d">Re: is tipping needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is tipping needed? :   I get not tipping for bad servcie, but I don't get not tipping for bad food (assuming the server didn't ordered correctl, but that goes to service in my book). ::shurgs:: *** I'm talking about in general, not about the situation with regards to your wedding.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

IIRC, Cortney was disappointed by the caterers for more reasons than one. I think she's one of the only people I've ever agreed with that not tipping was completely justified.