Hello All!
So, I belong to a Synagogue and am very involved in the choir and a few committees there. One of my choir members recently called and said that she and another friend from temple would really like to throw me a small bridal shower, with friends from choir and Torah study invited. It was such a sweet and generous offer that I said of course she could, and emphasized that no one needed to worry about gifts or anything like that.
My concern is that, because my temple is rather large and my budget relatively small, I was not able to invite everyone in my choir, or from my Torah study, but discreetly chose a select few that I am closest to. I know that some of the people who will be coming will likely not be part of the invite list, and I would hate to hurt their feelings.
I get the sense that the hosts of the shower understand this (the host who called, in fact, is not on the invite list) and that they feel confident that the guests will understand as well. They seem really excited to do it and I think they understand that it wasn't possible for me to invite everyone (Save the Dates went out a few months ago, so they all probably know who is and isn't on the list).
My tendency is to just be super grateful and to send thank you notes right away letting everyone who comes saying what an honor it was to be able to celebrate with them. It seems, too, that if I said something at the shower like "oh, I wish I could have invited all of you!" that it would just make things more awkward. I've always understood if I wasn't on an invite list to a wedding, so I'm assuming that I just have to trust that they will all understand as well?
I know, in hindsight, that it might have been better to not invite anyone from Temple if I couldn't invite everyone, but since I do have some really close friends there, it didn't seem right to leave them out. At any rate, though, this is the situation I am in now, so I figure I should just be very grateful for the love and generosity of this lovely community of friends.
Fellow knotties, any feedback or perspective you could give would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much for listening!
LC