MOH hosted Rehearsal Dinner?

tigger9922

So I just wanted to get the P&E take on this.  My best friend is getting married this June and I really want to help her in any way I can because I know she is trying to stay on a budget and keep things simple.  I want to offer to host the rehearsal dinner at my house, but I'm unsure of how to go about it.  Obviously I need to ask the bride first, but I already know that she wants a casual rehearsal dinner along the lines of a backyard BBQ.  My house is close to the church so it would be convienent.  Do you foresee any problems with this situation that I should consider before I offer?

crfische

Depends on what's normal in your circle. Around here, the groom's family always does the rehearsal/groom's dinner, so I would be checking with them, too. A groom's family would be offended around here if they weren't given the opporutnity to host the dinner, but I think that's pretty regional.

squirrly

As long as you've got the logistics covered (tables, chairs, bathrooms, refrigeration/heat for food, etc.) I can't see an issue on that front.

However - are you sure the FILs will be ok with that?

danieliza1127

Ditto Fische, typically the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner.  I do think it's fine for you to offer your house but I would maybe wait and see if she brings it up or mentions if her FILs are hosting/paying or not.

sarahmk5

I agree with PPs.  Make sure the groom's family wouldn't be offended, then offer.  I think it would be a nice gesture.

betrothed123

I would be very clear about what you're offering.  Are you going to pay for everything?  If so, how many people are you willing to allow her to invite?  Are you willing to let her help plan, or do you want to do it all on your own?

It could work out if you're very clear on what exactly you're offering, but honestly, I can see this getting out of hand and potentially ruining your friendship when ti does.  There was a poster here who threw a wedding for her friend, and I remember her running in to some problems with that.  I hope she sees this and gives some input.

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-hosted-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:916117fb-4c43-4e24-834f-fabec3bf78a6Post:24437437-6690-458f-88ce-56fbc16d94da">Re: MOH hosted Rehearsal Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be very clear about what you're offering.  Are you going to pay for everything?  If so, how many people are you willing to allow her to invite?  Are you willing to let her help plan, or do you want to do it all on your own? It could work out if you're very clear on what exactly you're offering, but honestly, I can see this getting out of hand and potentially ruining your friendship when ti does.  There was a poster here who threw a wedding for her friend, and I remember her running in to some problems with that.  I hope she sees this and gives some input.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

You stole the words out of my mouth.

crfische

Betrothed is smart and shiit.

FutureMrsTR

I would make sure the groom's family isn't planning on hosting one.  You don't want to accidentally insult them by implying they can't afford it!  Otherwise, I think it sounds like a very nice offer

tigger9922

Thanks ladies, you've brought up some excellent points.  FIL's are horrible to her and she doesn't want them involved at all.  That is why her and FI are paying for everything so they can keep control of that situation.  They may not even be attending the wedding so she doesn't want to be dependent on them for anything.  We have been best friends for 9 years and are very honest with each other so I don't foresee any issues over money or number of guests.  I would offer to pay for all of it unless she really wants some things that are costly like expensive alcohol or specific food that is over the norm for a BBQ.  I need to think more on the logistics of it as I will be at the rehearsal and helping her with any last minute details....and planning the timing of the the food may be an issue.  I really want to make this an enjoyable process for her.  She really came through for me on my wedding day and I just want to make sure she gets the experience she deserves.

danieliza1127

Tigger, if you have it catered by a BBQ place, that will really save you a ton of work and time.  Being with her at the rehearsal and stuff, you won't have time to be getting ready for a party or cooking.

tigger9922

Thanks Squirrly, I'll check those out after we talk about it more.  I thought about bootleg too!  They have the best wings.